A terrible genre of music.
Typically enjoyed by white conservatives of the south or midwest.
To be a male country musician today you must:
* Wear a cowboy outfit
* Have a southern accent (whether it be fake or not)
* Be from Texas (whether you actually are or not)
* Love Bush
* Enjoy Nascar
* Unite with fellow hicks
Billy- "Do all country 'musicians' suck?"
Me- "Besides Johnny Cash, yes."
At one time a deep, earthy, and universally respected genre of folk music embraced by people from all walks of life, and performed by heartland poets who wrote touching melodies and thought-provoking but subtle messages about life, love, and loss, country music has now grown into a dim shadow of its former greatness.
Record companies have appropriated it for their own profit as they will with any great artistic movement. Insipid, voiceless dandies with the depth of wading pools have been propped up as the new "idols." Irresponsible and uninformed political rhetoric has usurped the lyrical foreground, alienating many fans and completely betraying the music's original status as art for the everyman, while mediocrity and uniformity sum up the musical direction.
If we can ever be blessed again by another visionary, a Williams Sr., a Cash, a Cline, or a Miller, maybe things will change. But for now, country music remains a brutally raped and distorted picture of art stolen from the artists.
You call that country music? Toby Keith is nothing more than an obnoxious, pre-packaged pretty-boy masquarading as a country artist! Shut that crap off and play me some Johnny Cash!!!
A form of music in which the words can be understood, any instrument is game, writing talent is critical, and every song doesn't have to be about horny depressed teenagers singing one or two lines over and over.
Songs about life. Check out some Johnny Cash lyrics if you're still confused.
A music style that used to be about "Cowboys" and "Tractors" and shit. The music was almost always made by a fiddle, acoustic guitar, harmonica, and/or a chello.
Now, country music is basicly just badly done rock-guitar pop-ballads (or repitive piano pop-ballads) with such themes as "My Wife Left Me", "Im Leaving my Husband", "my Spouse is Dead or a thousnad miles away and i am lonley", and "Drinking Songs", sung by untalented Males who all try to sound the same, and females who either sing like a hurt timid female, or a Strong Independent Woman Who is Leaving Her Boyfriend For Some Unknown Reason.
Hell, modern country wouldnt even be considered country music if it didnt include that stupid highpitched country noise (i cant describe it. If you have heard country music, you know what im talking about) made by some unknown instrument.
"The Devil Went Down To Georgia" is country music.
"I love this Bar"
a once-vital form of rustic music derived from European styles of folk and dance music made by European immigrants to America. It's generally played with instruments like the mandolin, acoustic and steel guitars, fiddle and so on. It used to be about observations of the world, life and love in its complexities. Now it's all cliched, with imagery of cowboys, macho bragadoccio, Southern pride, small town life, "she done him wrong", "tears in my beer", "redneck" living, sentimental tripe like the trend-chasing "Angels Among Us", and "family values". Oh yes, and "God bless the U.S.A." jingoism. Ever since Garth Brooks (who is a watered down Bob Seger) hit it big in the fucking PC 90s, country has been "yuppified" and formulaic. Now there boring piano ballads with cliched lyrics galore sung by lousy Richard Marx clones with cowboy hats, the generic hat acts, pretty ladies singing tunes fit only for shopping mall opening-dedications, sexy ladies who sing corporate pop (no, it don't impress me much...more...
an unbearably irritating form of music that uses the same twangy gee-tar and awful wavering voice to sing about a very short list of topics such as: cheating spouse, alcoholics drinking to excess, pickup trucks, bein' a good-ol-boy, not havin' any a them-thar teeth and screwin' horses. this form of music is generally played at hoot n' annies, box socials, barn dances and every store north of georgia that douche bags go to buy cowboy hats even though they have no legitimate need for them. in order for a person to get any kind of enjoyment out of country music, however minimal, one must fall under one or more of the following categories: white women, having unnatural love for cheap beer, owning a yard full of garbage, 3 or more missing teeth, having a lip full of chewing tobacco, attenders of singles' mingles/family reunions, anyone that owns a tractor and thinks that it automatically makes them a cowboy. the more of these criteria met, the bigger the country music fan you are.
bumpkin: YEEEEEHAWWW! hey y'all wanna have a lissen ta my new garth brooks country music see-dee?
yankee: no thanks, i enjoy having a normal intelligence level.
bumpkin: you got a real purdy mouth boy. mmm...
yankee: excuse me?
bumpkin: ain't no body gonna hear you squeal piggy! YEEEEEHAWWW!!!
"she thinks my trackers sexy"
"i love this bar"
If you hear someone listening to country music run
Country music evolved from folk ballads brought to America by immigrants.It was decent music until asshole record company execs and producers in Nashville, Tennessee (wanting all the money without having to have talent)started pushing the"Nashville sound"akaNashville Clowns in the late 50s and continuing till today.Now all country songs are written by a formula.Whats selling,What topic is hot at the moment etc.. Country acts of today are told how to dress,act ,talk,what their background is ,if they are gonna be outlaws or good guys(stolen from wrestling promotors.also see:Retards)and what companies products to be seen wearing,eating,drinking and wiping their ass with.Most country stars of today are gleened from Kareoke bars and lounges.Most are from the midwest or east coast but company excecs change their point of origin to Oklahoma,Texas or Tennessee.Most "Stars" of today do not write their own material,they purchase the rights to say they have written it.(Travis Tritt)Pose with Harleys and try to act like outlaws(Toby Keith.Although he had to be pulled on a trailer sitting on a bike for his vid after dropping the bike several times and having to receive medical attention to get his head removed from his ass).Most acts of today are a sad lot of record company flunkies listened to by plastic people who buy into their bullshit swaggering a...more...