Top Definition
Basically, the most awesomest guy who has ever lived on planet Earth. He's very intelligent and means well. Also, he admires Lupe Fiasco. But eh.

Girls love him. Guys wanna be him. For real.
Person 1: Mayne, Cortez stole mah gurl.
Person 2: 'Bout time. He gets all the ladies.
by Paige;D January 03, 2012
6 more definitions
taking the cap off a bottle (typically of hard A) and throwing it away – burning the ships as it were – so as to make a commitment to finish the bottle that night
i cortezzed this tequila so you guys had better be fucking thirsty
by hasdrubal November 05, 2010
the man, the myth, the legend...he came he saw he conquered...best pirate to ever live..
friend: that guy is like cortez
me: no one can be like cortez...its no competition
by i_e_jay June 08, 2005
Stuck up slutty bitches, douche dick guys, nothing to do but drag main and shop at Walmart,self conceived town in SW Colorado!
Man he must be from Cortez because he's a dick!
by Brooky and Lilers May 25, 2014
A small town in SW Colorado, where there is nothing to do but drag main and go to Wal-Mart. Also known as home to tweekers, teenage mothers, and the scattered ashes of broken dreams. Filled with trailer parks, rednecks, and methamphetamines, Cortez is a white trash paradise!
Billy - "Wow Ted, I saw like, 10 people I knew at Wal-Mart today!"
Ted - "This is Cortez, Billy. Whaddya expect?"

Molly - "I was gonna go to college and become a doctor, but I started tweaking and dropped out of school when I got pregnant at sixteen."
Sadie Jo - "You sound just like everyone else in Cortez."
by pixieishsallie March 19, 2009
The main charecter in the video game Time Splitters 3: Future Perfect. Who travels through time to save the human race - he also has horrible humor.
Cortez - Its time to split!
by The Koaladude September 09, 2005
Extremely annoying mexijew who
1) Thinks they are good at trick
2) Thinks they have big balls (but they are really 1/16 an average mans size)
And 3) Is a failure at life overall
"Stop being a Cortez"
by YourFriend56 January 25, 2009

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