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congrasturbating 

Creating a problem that affects millions of people, then praising oneself for fixing only the small part of the problem that affects you and then masturbating.
congrasturbating - what your congress did today

Congratsturbating

Creating a problem that affects millions of people, then praising oneself for fixing only the small part of the problem that affects you and then masturbating.

(from April 29th, 2013 The Daily Show with Jon Steward) - featuring the Urban Dictionary word "Procrasturbating"
Sen. Susan Collins (R): "It's nice to know, that when we work together we really can solve problems!"

Jon: "Yeah, how nice from you - I think I have a new word for the Urban Dictionary: Congratsturbating."

Congratsturbating

Creating a problem that affects millions of people, then praising oneself for fixing the small part of the problem that affects you and then masturbating.

Coined by Jon Stewart
'Did you hear Susan Collins saying how proud she was that Congress passed a bill to speed up air travel?'

'Yeah that bitch is just congratsturbating.'
Congratsturbating by Umbeeee April 29, 2013
Word of the Day on May 5, 2013

Contrasturbation 

A portmanteau word, comprised of words "contrast" and "masturbation". The word means to give way more value/relevance to different things, just because of their contrastful nature. The contrast may show itself in many ways, such as opinions which go against "the norm", or even drawing something cute as "badass". It is a phenomenon typically occuring in art, but also within perceptions of people.
-Mark is always talking about how everybody should throw away their money and live in the wild. What do you think got into him?
-Contrasturbation. That's what got into him.

Contrasturbation 

A portmanteau word, comprised of words "contrast" and "masturbation". The word means to give way more value/relevance to different things, just because of their contrastful nature. The contrast may show itself in many ways, such as opinions which go against "the norm", or even drawing something cute as "badass". It is a phenomenon typically occuring in art, but also within perceptions of people.
-Mark is always talking about how everybody should throw away their money and live in the wild. What do you think got into him?
-Contrasturbation. That's what got into him.
It is said of the situation where a person has the bad luck to make contact with his testicles against an undefined surface or object, intentioned or not.
Given the nature of the word, it is more appropriate to design cases where the interaction is made with a moving object, for example, a ball.
Although it is extremely painful for the victim, it tends to be considerably funny to people who witness it.
Today in the baseball game the pitcher took a nutshot; the baseball hit him in the nuts.

Man, I just watched the funniest nutshot video ever.
Nutshot by Uberflaven March 1, 2009
Word of the Day on June 26, 2026