Chelmsford is a place in Essex where all the legends hang. Everyone thinks the schools there are good but in actual fact they’re proper shit and crumbling to pieces. Used to be quite dead growing up there now they’ve got 2 cinemas an ice rink and 10000000 shops for the Chelmsford gangs to rob (these gangs tend to be bored 16-year-old boys trying to act cool in front of their inappropriately-dressed girlfriends). This is also where most of the roadmen are born and raised and if you try to speak to anyone under the age of 25 chances are you won’t understand a word they’re saying because urban dictionary is basically a Chelmsford kids bible. All jokes aside Chelmsford is a sick place to live because even though you can come across the occasional wanker it’s better than Basildon where you often meet murderers and kidnappers when leaving your home.
What people think: Chelmsford people are chavs and Chelmsford is an irrelevant place
The truth: All what people think but we also got good chippies
The truth: All what people think but we also got good chippies
by Anonymousessexlad April 22, 2019
Silly place in essex where evryone finks there solid n dapper. U got some crews like melbourne and moulsham who r total wankers.
In chelmsford uve got a cinema one end and about a 25 min walk away theres an ice rink. Loadsa clubs full of chavs. Theres a mcdonalds n dats where da melbourne crew chillax. Chavs.
All in all its a shitty town wiv fuck all to do except get chased or go to a club.
Btw the leader of da melbourne crew is 15/16 and called "turtle" lol wat a prick.
In chelmsford uve got a cinema one end and about a 25 min walk away theres an ice rink. Loadsa clubs full of chavs. Theres a mcdonalds n dats where da melbourne crew chillax. Chavs.
All in all its a shitty town wiv fuck all to do except get chased or go to a club.
Btw the leader of da melbourne crew is 15/16 and called "turtle" lol wat a prick.
by bugger February 22, 2005
A place with a high percentage of french people, rednecks and mullets. A place where people ride Venturas and can purchase NKG spark plugs.
I met a guy with a wikkid mullet, had a major french accent and go figure, he was lookin' to buy NKG's !!! Musta been from Chelmsford !!!
by Dannomite March 29, 2006
a small dreary south east english town in essex that is surpringly catholic. it has what the locals call a river! the chelmer, not a river as such more like a trickle of piss.it is a very clean town however and the people couldnt care less. when the british media is bored or run out of zenophopic crap to say about france they normally turn on essex which is all bullshit. essex is not full of slags white vans or chavs it has the best chippies in the world and the best fish i have ever tasted and im irish!. the park is absolutley glorious and very well looked after, the town is a bit too flowery for normal tastes but at least its not a grey tower block estate. and it has had the hottest weather i have ever seen 96 degrees plus. the bars are cool and very safe and the people are nice but the drink is stinkin.
by da original playa June 4, 2006
Large town located in the South East of England. Built beside the river Chelmer in 1199 A.D.
Also a town in Massachusetts which was established in 1655.
Also a town in Massachusetts which was established in 1655.
by Daekaios February 1, 2005
The art of stuffing mashed potato up an Essex girls love hole and making her gradually squeeze it out whilst gyrating over your naked body. Extra special when the bird is on her period, super red mash!
John: I was bored watching Eastenders last night so I got the other half to give me a Chelmsford Potato
Chris: You are a sick fuck Jonny boy!
Chris: You are a sick fuck Jonny boy!
by DJSwiss January 28, 2010
a variety of meat that's butchered exclusively in the merrimack valley originating from the zebra species native to the intersection of butt hinge road and knob hill drive in chelmsford, ma. boston butt refers to pork shoulder whereas chelmsford keester refers to a literal zebra's ass. go figure
*at star market* "hey man do you have any boston butt?"
"nah man we're fresh out of boston butt butt we just got stocked up on chelmsford keester}"
"aw yeah kid we're having a family barbecue that'd be perfect"
"nah man we're fresh out of boston butt butt we just got stocked up on chelmsford keester}"
"aw yeah kid we're having a family barbecue that'd be perfect"
by reggieXray May 21, 2020