Apple-john 

A preserved apple which has lost the majority of its water content and thus appears wrinkled and shriveled. It was a term invented by Shakespeare, not Seth MacFuckingFarlane.

“I am withered like an old apple-john.” Shakespeare: 1 Henry IV. iii. 3.

Apple-john by Gliese September 13, 2010

apple john

It's a fucking d-bag.

That silly apple john.

apple john by griz April 20, 2004

beef witted apple john 

One who amongst your circle of friends is commonly known as a lesser person, often humorously scorned in passing, yet not worthy of lengthy thought.

"Oh look everyone it's Alex Trebek. Hey Alex, ya beef witted apple john! What's the difference between you and a bird with a cold? One's a sick duck...anyways I don't remember how it ends but your mother's a whore."

beef witted apple john by Tony John C October 10, 2007

Johnny Apple Stem 

When after anal sex (with a man or a woman), a man goes to urinate and a little brown "stem" (resembling an Apple Stem) pops out of his penis.

So I fucked this bitch in her dirty asshole last night and when I was done corn holing the broad I went to take a piss and a Johnny Apple Stem popped out!

Johnny Apple Stem by Porno Donkey March 2, 2010

Johnny apple weed 

the residue left after smoking a bowl pack out of an apple pile its made up of half burnt green drenched in apple juice

"Dude i smoked some johnny apple weed and now i fuccin stoned

Johnny apple weed by DeCoY189th November 13, 2010

Johnny Rotten Apple Quicksteps 

Diarrhea where each step results in an additional shart.

Wife: What the hell happened to your boxers and pants?

Husband: Your mother's cooking gave me the Johnny Rotten Apple Quicksteps. Those last few steps on the way to the bathroom were brutal. Good thing I was wearing socks.

Johnny Rotten Apple Quicksteps by HymieG December 30, 2010

johnny apple weed 

The device that is created when you take an apple, cut a bowl in it, and a hole to pull, and then proceed to smoke marijuana through.

"Hey make a Johnny Apple Weed cause I got some bud!"

johnny apple weed by ill spills October 13, 2007