look up any word, like the eiffel tower:
 
1.
A real patriot, and a person who is kind but has a terrible work ethic, often runs around shouting utter nonsense. His laugh is very VERY obnoxious. Likes to bug people about how great he is, especially if their names are Arthur. An Alfred tends to wear glasses and has blonde hair. Alfreds also are afraid of ghosts even though they claim they do not exist, but they easily believe in aliens.
Arthur: ALFRED! COULD YOU BE BLOODY QUIET FOR ONE MINUTE?

Alfred: But dude, I gotta be loud so that people can know where I am if they need me. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BECAUSE I'M THE HERO!

Arthur: ...Git...
by theoneandonlycaptain October 16, 2011
 
2.
A man who has old world charm but it cute as a button. Trustworthy, selfless and sweet.
I had a bad day...i think i will call Alfred and then I will feel better!
by a reallllly smart lady May 14, 2011
 
3.
Someone whose mind is rivaled by none. Able to solve any problem without much effort. The classic mastermind or brains of any operation. The guy you can rely on to get out of any sticky situation.
Tony, who is the Alfred of your group?

Hey Franky, how did your boy pull an Alfred with the cops?
by ZeroT May 18, 2011
 
4.
Someone who is a compulsive liar and will not stop with a lie until you actually start to believe them. Also when an "Alfred" gets desperate, they will use facial expressions and won't laugh when telling a lie.
Stop being an Alfred man, I'll never believe that you're dating Allie Dimeco.
by Dustin Hu December 24, 2007
 
5.
One, particulary old aged male often around age 47 who plays warcraft all day. And works part time cutting meat. Spends all his money on dank, Nicotine and clever hair cuts.
Wow we got our selfs a Master Alfred.

Alfred's new hair cut makes him look clever.

Alfred can't spell onion.
by Nelms May 01, 2008
 
6.
As in....Alfred Hitchcock, Hitchcock...Sh*tcock.
When a baby unfortunatley has worn a nappy for too long and
he has had a rather runny episode that has covered not only his bottom but also his willy.
'OH LOOK AT THE POOR LITTLE FELLOW, HE'S GOT ALFREDS!!'
by salims April 17, 2008
 
7.
Noun. An Alfred is a hipster of the worst, most extreme variety; most frequently found in San Francisco, Brooklyn, and Silverlake. Wearing American Apparel and going gluten-free doesn't make you an Alfred. Greasing your mustache and sporting a monocle makes you an Alfred.
"Did you see the pants on that Alfred? I get that rolling your jeans is trendy, but that guy looked like he was wearing capris. Your socks aren't that cool, buddy."
by we$$yJ February 06, 2014