the sticky sandpaper slap

when a man slaps someone with his sweaty, stubbly, balls

i got scratches from tom giving me the sticky sandpaper slap

by assavengers January 4, 2009

fuck me sideways with a sandpaper condom

An insult that can be used as an alternative to "fuck me" or "fuck me sideways" and can avoid actions that look like fucking someone sideways. Also an insult that can be used against others because they are simply an ass or they are stupid, and as such, deserve really painful sex.

-Why the hell did you yell your ex's name when you had sex with your girl?
-Fuck me sideways with a sandpaper condom.

-Dude, where the hell are you?
-I'm stuck behind this old fart.
-Go fuck him sideways with a sandpaper condom, it's your damn fault you woke up late.

by gofuckaduck90 June 15, 2011

Slug Going Down a Sandpaper Hallway

The worst possible thing to happen during sex. It's when a Guy cant get hard and a chick can't get wet.

Brad: Bro, How did your night with Sandy go? You finally got her to go home with you?
Tyrone: Yeah but it didn't go well. Bruh, That shit was like a Slug Going Down a Sandpaper Hallway. Shit i blame it on my Whiskey Dick.
Brad: Damn man that's fucked up

by 💃BiaCaramelQueen🤳🏽 July 6, 2015

I'd rather sandpaper a bobcat's ass in a phone booth filled with kerosene

Phrase used to verbalize just how much you don't want to do something

I'd rather sandpaper a bobcat's ass in a phone booth filled with kerosene than to have to your mom out again!

by Autohaulic July 16, 2008

Her butt has been rear ended too many times. Cat't replace it so bring out the bondo, sandpaper and a grinder.

Her butt has been rear ended too many times. Cat't replace it so bring out the bondo, sandpaper and a grinder.

Her butt has been rear ended too many times. Cat't replace it so bring out the bondo, sandpaper and a grinder.

by Rufymonkeyd February 7, 2020

Sandpaper

A roll of pleasure paper that you can shove your dick into, you can also turn it into a flashlight and enjoy it that way too.

Dave: bro I just shoved my veiny cock into some sandpaper! It was pretty exotic.
Bob: sandpaper?
Dave: yeah that nice roll of pleasure paper that you can use to push yourself to climax!

by Maximum girth March 8, 2021

Sandpaper times

Replaces the popular saying, "Rough Times".

You were backing out of the driveway and ran over your phone? Man, sandpaper times .

by Whiteskittlez July 16, 2010