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R.O.F.L.S.H.T.E.T.I.G.U.I.F.D.A.T.H.M.H.O.A.T.A. M.M.H.T.T.M.T.T.H.A.B.I.L 

rolling on the floor laughing so hard that every time i got up i fell down again then hit my head on a table and my mom
had to take me to the hospital all because i laughed.
The other day I was R.O.F.L.S.H.T.E.T.I.G.U.I.F.D.A.T.H.M.H.O.A.T.A. M.M.H.T.T.M.T.T.H.A.B.I.L ... it was kind of embarrassing.

I’m fixing to take a 44oz XL shit

When youre about to SHIT MOTHERFUCKER
HEY JERMENY I’m fixing to take a 44oz XL shit YOU FUCKIN FAGGOT

esc F1 F2 F3 F4 F5 F6 F7 F8 F9 F10 F11 F12 insert delete ` 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 - = tab q w e r t y u i o p [ ] \ capslock a s d f g h j k l shift z x c v b n m , . / shift ctrl fn alt space alt ctrl 

This is the peak of bordom, you decide that qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm wasen't enough, and poiuytrewqlkjhgfdsamnbvcxz, and also qazsedcftgbhujmkol, and awsxdrfvgyhnjiklp, etc etc,
Person 1: bro im so boreddddddddddddddddddddd,
Person 2: have you tried esc F1 F2 F3 F4 F5 F6 F7 F8 F9 F10 F11 F12 insert delete ` 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 - = tab q w e r t y u i o p \ capslock a s d f g h j k l shift z x c v b n m , . / shift ctrl fn alt space alt ctrl?
Person 1: OMFG DID YOU NOT READ THE PATCH NOTES??
person 2: wdym?
person 1: IF YOU SAY SOME WORDS THAT ARE TOO LONG YOU-
*person 2 explodes

M.I.S.H.A.P.

Maybe If She Had A Penis; viral video featuring the Numa Numa Guy. Shows girls what life would be like if they had to deal with a swinging member all day long. They'd most certainly appreciate the hardships men have to endure... especially when it comes to receiving quality oral sex.
M.I.S.H.A.P... she would know what to do with mine.
M.I.S.H.A.P. by shardyblue May 13, 2010

I.W.Y.T.F.M.S.H.I.C.W.A 

This abbreviation means "I Want You To Fuck Me So Hard I Can't Walk Anymore"
Example

Boy 1: Hey Jess, if you're a freak, then you know what I.W.Y.T.F.M.S.H.I.C.W.A
Jess: Yeah, I know what it means. I'm not that innocent. "I Want You To Fuck Me So Hard I Can't Walk Anymore"

I'm/he's/she's a Christian, so you can trust me/him/her 

All the more reason not to trust the person... if the fact that someone is a "born-aginner" even has to be mentioned, then there must be something less-than-honest/honorable that said supposedly-clean-living person has to hide --- "methinks he doth protest too much"!
I have seldom if ever had any more luck with the honesty/integrity/consistency/reliability/kindness of someone about whom I was solemnly assured that, "I'm/he's/she's a Christian, so you can trust me/him/her"... in fact, if anything, these stuck-up Bible-thunpers often seem to be even BIGGER a**h**es than their "non-believer" counterparts! They think that "God will forgive them" for anything they do, and so they make little true effort to keep their word or otherwise treat their fellow humans with even basic decency.