A overrated, hot, hellhole of a state. Filled with Cubans who don't always speak English. In the Northern part it is full of rednecks who also can't speak English that well.
Guy-Hey I went to Florida.
Guy2-Which part?
Guy-Miami.
Guy2-Oh, so you basically went to Cuba?
Guy-Yeah, pretty much.
Guy2-Which part?
Guy-Miami.
Guy2-Oh, so you basically went to Cuba?
Guy-Yeah, pretty much.
by IamGlove June 12, 2011
America's discount tropical paradise. North part has nice friendliness, southern part has a lot of "girls gone wild" and cool waitresses. Also is my future home state.
In Florida, you can hug your waitress and nothing will happen. Try that in Illinois and you'd get kicked out of the restaurant.
by He who knows11 July 11, 2008
The most southeastern state of the United States whose shape bears an uncanny resemblance to the male member in its flaccid state. Its nickname as the "Sunshine State" is really a misnomer because, more often than not, the sun is hidden by rainclouds -- a symptom of Florida's year-round humidity. While California, the true sunshine state, is defined by endless sun and beautiful mountain vistas, Florida is a veritable swampland plagued by heavy rain and overcast skies. However, there is the occasional sunny, HUMID day.
On a more sinister note, Florida is the reason why George W. Bush was in office for eight years. Florida is thus responsible for irreparable damage done to the United States, and indeed, to the world. This is a testament to Floridians' intelligence, or lack thereof. In addition, Florida has laws in place which provide complete public access to any private individual's court documents. It is said that upon hearing news of these laws' passage, cable news producers became fully aroused and/or wet.
On a more sinister note, Florida is the reason why George W. Bush was in office for eight years. Florida is thus responsible for irreparable damage done to the United States, and indeed, to the world. This is a testament to Floridians' intelligence, or lack thereof. In addition, Florida has laws in place which provide complete public access to any private individual's court documents. It is said that upon hearing news of these laws' passage, cable news producers became fully aroused and/or wet.
College Kid #1: Dude, I'm going to South Beach, Florida for Spring Break! You should totally come, bro!
College Kid #2: No, dude, I'm going to Cali. I don't wanna have to worry about rain. What's the matter, bro?? You couldn't afford Mykonos??? Or are you gonna go visit your grandparents down there too...???
College Kid #2: No, dude, I'm going to Cali. I don't wanna have to worry about rain. What's the matter, bro?? You couldn't afford Mykonos??? Or are you gonna go visit your grandparents down there too...???
by Kalitechne January 28, 2010
An infernal peninsula, jutting out the southeast edge of the U.S.A. like a disgusting tumour. It consists mainly of weak people from the Northeast and Midwest who left classy, excellent areas like New York, Chicago, or Connecticut, their children who were raised here or forced here and are getting out at the first opportunity possible, native Floridians who are a bunch of miserable hicks and wear camo jackets and crap to high school, and immigrants who stay here because this is where they happen to be, and would probably get out very quickly if they found out what the rest of the country has to offer.
The political system of the State is atrocious. There's no income tax, so the State Gov't. gets all its money from sales and real-estate tax. This has many effects.
For example, the educational-system condemns the poor children of this State to recieve a quality of education and schooling that would be considered remarkable sub-par for such a developed country. Class sizes are commonly 35+ and even hit 40 quite commonly, and the teachers are paid such rubbish that many have to live with their parents or rely on their spouse for monetary support. Low pay results in many highly-capable individuals to be turned away from the job. So teacher quality is some of the worst you will find anywhere in the country.
The government having no money also results in a wait time of at least two to three weeks for power if a hurricane hits you. The hurricane months of August-October can easily get as hot as in the middle of the summer, so this situation results in the utter misery of picking rotten food out of the fridge, begging for the power to come back for the A/C to give you some release.
Oh and if a road is being built, take your estimate of how long it'll take to build, and triple it, and you're heading in the right direction.
With anything funded by the State government, just expect the worst every time, in any category, whether education, infrastructure, management, incompetence is the norm. Just come to expect it.
As for natural beauty, there is nothing to be found here. Florida literally has the flattest, most dull landscape, of anywhere you will see in the entire country. Kansas may be flat too, but at least it's scenic in it's own way, Florida is just a huge, swampy sandbar that was developed on for the masochists who moved here. The natural vegetation is just a mix of swampy shrubs and trees adapted for the muggy climate. Entirely dull and uninteresting.
The weather is also, yes, too hot. If you want a nice climate, you don't have to go to the muggiest place in the country. People in cold climates think they want one extreme instead of the other, but never realise somewhere in the middle makes more sense. There's too hot, and too cold, and Florida is too hot. There's no variety to the seasons, just one, sunny and muggy. Or rainy and muggy sometimes. The only bearable months of the year are perhaps December-February. The snowbirds often come during these months, and mistakenly come to believe that the weather is tolerable year around, and get stuck here.
The political system of the State is atrocious. There's no income tax, so the State Gov't. gets all its money from sales and real-estate tax. This has many effects.
For example, the educational-system condemns the poor children of this State to recieve a quality of education and schooling that would be considered remarkable sub-par for such a developed country. Class sizes are commonly 35+ and even hit 40 quite commonly, and the teachers are paid such rubbish that many have to live with their parents or rely on their spouse for monetary support. Low pay results in many highly-capable individuals to be turned away from the job. So teacher quality is some of the worst you will find anywhere in the country.
The government having no money also results in a wait time of at least two to three weeks for power if a hurricane hits you. The hurricane months of August-October can easily get as hot as in the middle of the summer, so this situation results in the utter misery of picking rotten food out of the fridge, begging for the power to come back for the A/C to give you some release.
Oh and if a road is being built, take your estimate of how long it'll take to build, and triple it, and you're heading in the right direction.
With anything funded by the State government, just expect the worst every time, in any category, whether education, infrastructure, management, incompetence is the norm. Just come to expect it.
As for natural beauty, there is nothing to be found here. Florida literally has the flattest, most dull landscape, of anywhere you will see in the entire country. Kansas may be flat too, but at least it's scenic in it's own way, Florida is just a huge, swampy sandbar that was developed on for the masochists who moved here. The natural vegetation is just a mix of swampy shrubs and trees adapted for the muggy climate. Entirely dull and uninteresting.
The weather is also, yes, too hot. If you want a nice climate, you don't have to go to the muggiest place in the country. People in cold climates think they want one extreme instead of the other, but never realise somewhere in the middle makes more sense. There's too hot, and too cold, and Florida is too hot. There's no variety to the seasons, just one, sunny and muggy. Or rainy and muggy sometimes. The only bearable months of the year are perhaps December-February. The snowbirds often come during these months, and mistakenly come to believe that the weather is tolerable year around, and get stuck here.
by d.c.r. September 14, 2009
A nice place to visit but not live!
Population of nearly dead and newly weds.
For those of us unfortunate souls who were born and raised there its the worst state.
There are 4 sections to Fl; Panhandle -beach, N./Central Fl-southern, Miami (305)- lil cuba, S. Fl- money.
There are only two seasons hot and hotter.
Any education below college level sucks, but if you must go to school there Seminole county is on top.
Your either a Gator or Seminole, no one but Miamians care about U of M.
As for the beaches, the alantic beaches are by far the best, the gulf beaches are nice if you like to feel like your swimming in a warm bath with red tide.
The only exception to that is Sanibel Island beaches, they are like heaven on earth.
The only reason non-floridians say we can't drive is b/c we drive like we have shit to do. Those of you who like to do the speed limit need to move the fuck over, some of us have things to get done, and don't be jealous b/c we can multitask while we drive. I learned how to drive while on the phone! Also if you miss your turn or exit go to the next one and turn around don't cut from the left-hand lane to the right just so you can make your turn..Some of us are trying not to die!
True Floridians don't go to disney everyday b/c we hate tourist.
NO, alligators do not walk around in your backyard unless you live in a swamp.
Not everyone has a pool, and no we don't go to the beach everyday. Not everyone lives on the coast.
For those idiots who don't know Tallahassee is the capitol not Miami.
Florida is of Native American origin, with some spanish influence.
Yes there is a place called Yee-haw junction.
As for FLO RIDA..its pernounced FLORIDA and your fucking form Tallahassee...woopdi fuck doo!
Population of nearly dead and newly weds.
For those of us unfortunate souls who were born and raised there its the worst state.
There are 4 sections to Fl; Panhandle -beach, N./Central Fl-southern, Miami (305)- lil cuba, S. Fl- money.
There are only two seasons hot and hotter.
Any education below college level sucks, but if you must go to school there Seminole county is on top.
Your either a Gator or Seminole, no one but Miamians care about U of M.
As for the beaches, the alantic beaches are by far the best, the gulf beaches are nice if you like to feel like your swimming in a warm bath with red tide.
The only exception to that is Sanibel Island beaches, they are like heaven on earth.
The only reason non-floridians say we can't drive is b/c we drive like we have shit to do. Those of you who like to do the speed limit need to move the fuck over, some of us have things to get done, and don't be jealous b/c we can multitask while we drive. I learned how to drive while on the phone! Also if you miss your turn or exit go to the next one and turn around don't cut from the left-hand lane to the right just so you can make your turn..Some of us are trying not to die!
True Floridians don't go to disney everyday b/c we hate tourist.
NO, alligators do not walk around in your backyard unless you live in a swamp.
Not everyone has a pool, and no we don't go to the beach everyday. Not everyone lives on the coast.
For those idiots who don't know Tallahassee is the capitol not Miami.
Florida is of Native American origin, with some spanish influence.
Yes there is a place called Yee-haw junction.
As for FLO RIDA..its pernounced FLORIDA and your fucking form Tallahassee...woopdi fuck doo!
by floridachic February 17, 2008
by MoobNaster69 May 31, 2019
Also known as the Sunshine state because of its year round warm weather, florida is a great place to live. It's a pretty common stereotype that florida is filled with snowbirds and old people and that is 100% true. The old people are known for driving 20-30 miles under the speed limit and causing careless car accidents however on the plus side if an old person hits you it's very unlikely anyone will be seriously injured or killed and your car will probably have very little damage because old people don't usually go over 20 mph so you're good. The term "snowbirds" refer to the northerners that visit florida and they wear shorts and sit outside tanning when it's 60 degrees out while the floridians are inside bundled up with the heater on. In florida we get hurricanes all the time and they don't scare us unless their high categories. In fact hurricanes are welcomed because it's a good excuse to have a day off and hurricane parties are pretty typical down here. The weather in florida is extremely bipolar it's typical for it to pour really hard for 2 minutes and then have completely clear skies minutes later. Winter doesn't really exist in florida especially in south florida where it will occasionally get below 60 during the day in the winter time but other than that it's pretty much warm year round, Floridians consider below 60 to be freezing and we start bringing out the winter coats and uggs when it gets to that temperature.
by Awesomenessbruhh February 16, 2015