-A magical, mitten-shaped land consisting primarily of trees, whitetail deer, squirrels, beaches, and
snow. Inhabited by a race of
people which are said to never complain about the
cold, have a diet of which is made of 85% venison and
beer, and are rumored to be direct descendants of Canadians.
-Consists of the U.P. and the lower peninsula. Don’t ever call it the “
L.P.”
-Where whitetail deer come from.
-Where whitetail deer flee from in
November.
-Tourists are both hated and loved here. The state needs them for a sustainable economy, yet it doesn't matter where you go; if you are a tourist, no one likes you.
-All five Great Lakes belong to Michigan. Ontario included. Which is why Michigan is also called the “Great Lakes State”. Deal with it.
-An Asian Carp’s dream
home.
-Therefore, Asian Carp are a Michigander/Michiganian’s greatest fear (other than running out of
beer and deer to hunt).
-There is only one sports rivalry that matters: University of Michigan and Michigan State.
-Nobody in Michigan can drive worth a damn unless there’s
snow on the ground. But even if there is
snow on the ground, one should drive cautiously; this excludes douche bags with trucks. They quickly end up in the ditches.
-Detroit… just… sucks. Anyone who lives outside Detroit considers it it’s own state. It’s often referred to as “Un-Michigan” or “Red Wings Land”.
-Without Detroit, Michigan would be much further down on the obesity and crime lists.
-See also:
Canada.
Person A: So where are you from?
Person B: Michigan.
Person A: Oh really, me too. What
part?
Person B:
Detroit.
Person A: ...Oh... So, uh... I hear they have
hockey over there, huh?
