cell monkey 

A person who is ostensibly unable to walk, chew gum, sit, eat, drink, sleep, work, shop, drive, breathe, take a crap, or accomplish any other task commonly performed with or without opposable digits, unless a cell phone is inexorably attached to the side of their head.

This person is typically oblivious to almost all stimuli around them including any carbon-based life forms, merging traffic, lights at intersections, toll booth gates, falling pianos, the cashier in front of them, the check-out line behind them, the person they've just walked in front of, the inappropriateness of their loud phone rants, or anything else involving sight, sound or smell (such as the fungus slowly growing on the mouth and ear piece of the greasy device).

Ironically, it has been shown that when placed in a room with other family members and friends, but without the cellular appliance, this person has alarmingly little to say to any of them. This time spent communicating face to face has been estimated to be a mere fraction of the corresponding period spent talking to the same people through the device, and at great and perpetual urgency.

Get off the phone and drive cell monkey.

It's your turn dumbass! STFU and write the check or run your debit. This store has gotta ban the freaking cell monkeys in checkout lines?

Hey cell monkey, your fly is open and you're standing in front of the forklift.

cell monkey by idiot emptor April 24, 2009

Cell Hole

Ones house(Possibly yours...?) or general area that has little to no cell signal.

Shere Khan(Yes, from Talespin.): This place is such a f*cking Cell Hole! I can't get one damn bar on my Motorola MicroTAC 9800X!?

Kevin Sorbo: Well it's not my fault I had to move back to my parents basement, you should of spent less time molesting Kit Cloudkicker more time with me and Eolis pushing the VHS box set of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys...

Shere Khan: Whelp, I can't argue with facts.

Cell Hole by Shaners iroc February 18, 2011

cell yell 

The result of a person feeling that they need to drastically raise their voice in order to be heard on their mobile phone. Offenders of cell yell are oblivious to the fact that this is not necessary, and are often an extreme nuisance to everyone around them.

We had a hard time enjoying our meal at the restaurant, due to the cell yell of the woman at the next table.

cell yell by Dawn Davenport March 13, 2005

cell catcher 

It's slang for condom.

Hey man you left your paycheck in my car so I spent it on cell catchers and purple haze.

cell catcher by Y2Jandn9ne December 17, 2008

Cell trance 

A trance-like state invoked by talking through a cellphone, in which people walk around and fumble with things aimlessly. People in cell trance often have a mindless, blank look on their face and complete disregard for their surroundings. Often occurs when people are standing still and start talking trough their cellphone.

Also called itrance, if the phone used to invoke the cell trance is an iPhone.

The best places to look for people in cell trance are public places where people are standing or waiting, e.g. a train/bus stop or a fast-food restaurant.

My friend went in to cell trance last night and almost got hit by a car, because he did not pay attention to his surroundings.

See that guy over there wandering about aimlessly? Probably cell trance.

Cell trance by The Wahoonie May 12, 2010

cell mates 

noun

The general theory that your mobile phone (cell phone) knows you better than anyone else based on hearing all of your phone calls, knowing all of your texts, facebook updates, emails, GPS locations, etc. and is therefore one of your best friends. After all, there is no person or device that you interact with more than your phone.

Dave and Hal are total cell mates. That guy takes his phone with him with everywhere he goes - even the different rooms in his apartment!

cell mates by gtbarry August 17, 2009