chavs are people who wear trackies and named clothes,and the girls wear big fake gold earings they all have an attitude problem and need to have a good punch round their faces
omg i fuking hate them cause there not like me cause i think im so good wwhen really im a bag of sh**
by holly March 3, 2005
Those Chavs think they're hard, but little that they know is that the force of a haymaker at their face from anyone would not only be beyond smashed that even their wonky, shitty teeth be swallowed, but also their low chav brand brain (which cost 1p in most known store) would be splattered inside their head.
by Shin-fucking-Ryu February 4, 2005
A lower form of primate that takes pleasure in terrorising older and younger people when in large groups. Often found in McDonalds, loitering near shops (with no hope whatsoever of being able to buy anything, having spent all their money on cheap jewellery) or destroying local children's parks. Luckily for the rest of the population chavs insist on smoking, eating regularly from McDonalds, carrying around loaded firearms (yes, they are that stupid) in their pockets, and taking drugs; lowering their life expectancy dramatically. It's just a damn shame that they can breed so quickly (possibly a defense mechanism against their short life-expectancy). A chav of 13 is likely to be already supporting 3 thildren via different fathers, all of whom have cleared off long since. Hence the chavette will buy a bumper-sized buggy, wielding it with such agility that she is able to use it as a battering ram in the rush to the '90% off' sale at adidas.
You can find a chav (or rather, a group of them) in every town that contains a pub and a few council houses.
You can find a chav (or rather, a group of them) in every town that contains a pub and a few council houses.
You can find a chav (or rather, a group of them) in every town that contains a pub and a few council houses.
by abi_yeah April 25, 2007
There are people in the world who think that the label "Chav" is classist, and refers to those who are working class. However, once and for all, it does not. "Chav" in fact refers to those who have absolutely no respect for anything at all, though in fact demand to be respected all the same. They can be found spitting on the streets; they can be found sitting in bus shelters cadging a smoke off other people; they can be found in courtrooms everywhere for street crimes. They will happily attack anyone who so much as looks at them (Ex. 1), all the while hurling abuse at people who are differently dressed/significantly older/significantly younger/in a smaller group. They somehow eke amusement out of destroying that which has been created by others, including bus shelters and spraying graffiti over fresh paint. They refuse to accept any responsibility for anything, ever, and if they find themselves in a tight spot in life, it is always someone else's fault. (Ex. 2.) They also have a tendency to sponge off the state. For example, somewhere in not-so-Great Britain there is a family who have literally 12 children. Nobody in the family works, and because of the system the children allow the parents to claim £44,000 a year in benefits. That's close to £4000 a month (I myself work, and earn around £600), and the parents then go on to claim that they can't stop having kids "because they cannot afford condoms". They receive £4K a month and they can't spare a tenner for some johnnies?
All in all, chavs are indeed the scourge of Britain and I would urge the politicians of Britain to realise that hoodies don't need a hug, they need a lengthy prison sentence and good rehabilitation to make sure they don't reoffend.
And a swift kick up the arse wouldn't go amiss either.
All in all, chavs are indeed the scourge of Britain and I would urge the politicians of Britain to realise that hoodies don't need a hug, they need a lengthy prison sentence and good rehabilitation to make sure they don't reoffend.
And a swift kick up the arse wouldn't go amiss either.
1
Person: <glances up at chav so that he or she may avoid walking into them.>
Chav: Wot u lookin at m8? <Attacks person>
2
Far be it from me to talk about myself while defining something, but I once had a conversation with a chav who said that she failed in school because she talked in class, and she said that it was her teacher's fault for not being able to shut her up.
Person: <glances up at chav so that he or she may avoid walking into them.>
Chav: Wot u lookin at m8? <Attacks person>
2
Far be it from me to talk about myself while defining something, but I once had a conversation with a chav who said that she failed in school because she talked in class, and she said that it was her teacher's fault for not being able to shut her up.
by TheACM July 21, 2006
The Chav, commonly mistaken for a human being.
It is actually a sub species that is thought to have strong links to neanderthilic culture. Indeed, the basic desires for sex, loud things, fighting and fast things are all common between the two.
There are two main breeds of chav. The female, more cunning, of the species sometimes called a Chavette. Scientific name being Chavettus Femiminine. The current technical term for such an entity, is Slut. Normally known to lose their "V"'s or Virginity before reaching full sexual maturity, they ensure that the chav race does not dye out by producing many offspring each year. They seem to have a natural affinity towards Nike Air Max and Burberry check. Both normally fake, this is assumed to be a more modern attempt at tribal markings. In this way, the Chav tribes can recognise each other in the frequent fights. They do infact posess some intelligence in the form of breeding rapidly and young so as to abuse the benefits system for as long as possible. Common drinks of the Chavette include Lambrini and other cheap alcoholic beverages.
The other type of Chav to be looked at here is the Male breed of chav. These are by far the most common of the species and are the "Hunter Gatherer" types of each tribe.
Their Hunting being the art of scouting out shops in the area and then Gathering the items for no material cost. Shoplifting could almost be considered a holy activity of the chav. The clothing is much the same to the Chav female, and often accompanied by an ear ring and cap at a jaunty angle. The drinks are the same but they often drink Stella Artois beer, being both cheap and effective at stirring up drunken brawls.
Chav culture, if it can be called that, mostly involves the consumption of alcohol and ciggarettes, and then fighting in drug and booze fuelled rampages that can last for hours. A hunt involves a large group of chav males and females going out and preying on people who are often on their lonesome. Most commonly, Moshers, Emos, Goths and other such social groups who unlike chavs, have developed braincells. Not always applicable in the case of the Emos.
Recently having received internet from whatever council provides them with a roof over their heads. Chavs have found their way onto the elusive internet and discovered social networking websites. Commonly frequented ones are Piczo, MySpace and Bebo. Piczo and Bebo have become almost fully "Chavenised" (Can be compared to Galvanised, the chav forms a protective layer over what was once good and pure.) Some have even discovered websites which give them HTML codes for their MySpace. This was previously unheard of, as Chav's are unable to comprehend their first language. Yet alone use a programming language!
Chavs also seem to have their own language which is documented worldwide on various internet websites. This is normally monosyllabic, although exceptions to occur. "Wanker" is two syllables yet they seem to have an adequate knowledge of its usage. It is suspected it is a variation on Neanderthilic culture, creating words where necessary to ensure only they can understand their language.
All in all, the Chav is to be viewed as a social menace and their stature within the country not very high. It is suspected that soon the Hunting Ban in england shall be amended to permit the killing of Chavs to rid us of this social menace. For the meantimes, gather up your holy water and Silver Crosses. Or if you are realistic, grab a handful of pennies, throw them in the other direction, the Chav's will run to the money in hope of a warm dinner.
It is actually a sub species that is thought to have strong links to neanderthilic culture. Indeed, the basic desires for sex, loud things, fighting and fast things are all common between the two.
There are two main breeds of chav. The female, more cunning, of the species sometimes called a Chavette. Scientific name being Chavettus Femiminine. The current technical term for such an entity, is Slut. Normally known to lose their "V"'s or Virginity before reaching full sexual maturity, they ensure that the chav race does not dye out by producing many offspring each year. They seem to have a natural affinity towards Nike Air Max and Burberry check. Both normally fake, this is assumed to be a more modern attempt at tribal markings. In this way, the Chav tribes can recognise each other in the frequent fights. They do infact posess some intelligence in the form of breeding rapidly and young so as to abuse the benefits system for as long as possible. Common drinks of the Chavette include Lambrini and other cheap alcoholic beverages.
The other type of Chav to be looked at here is the Male breed of chav. These are by far the most common of the species and are the "Hunter Gatherer" types of each tribe.
Their Hunting being the art of scouting out shops in the area and then Gathering the items for no material cost. Shoplifting could almost be considered a holy activity of the chav. The clothing is much the same to the Chav female, and often accompanied by an ear ring and cap at a jaunty angle. The drinks are the same but they often drink Stella Artois beer, being both cheap and effective at stirring up drunken brawls.
Chav culture, if it can be called that, mostly involves the consumption of alcohol and ciggarettes, and then fighting in drug and booze fuelled rampages that can last for hours. A hunt involves a large group of chav males and females going out and preying on people who are often on their lonesome. Most commonly, Moshers, Emos, Goths and other such social groups who unlike chavs, have developed braincells. Not always applicable in the case of the Emos.
Recently having received internet from whatever council provides them with a roof over their heads. Chavs have found their way onto the elusive internet and discovered social networking websites. Commonly frequented ones are Piczo, MySpace and Bebo. Piczo and Bebo have become almost fully "Chavenised" (Can be compared to Galvanised, the chav forms a protective layer over what was once good and pure.) Some have even discovered websites which give them HTML codes for their MySpace. This was previously unheard of, as Chav's are unable to comprehend their first language. Yet alone use a programming language!
Chavs also seem to have their own language which is documented worldwide on various internet websites. This is normally monosyllabic, although exceptions to occur. "Wanker" is two syllables yet they seem to have an adequate knowledge of its usage. It is suspected it is a variation on Neanderthilic culture, creating words where necessary to ensure only they can understand their language.
All in all, the Chav is to be viewed as a social menace and their stature within the country not very high. It is suspected that soon the Hunting Ban in england shall be amended to permit the killing of Chavs to rid us of this social menace. For the meantimes, gather up your holy water and Silver Crosses. Or if you are realistic, grab a handful of pennies, throw them in the other direction, the Chav's will run to the money in hope of a warm dinner.
by Artix May 31, 2008
CHAV = Counsil House Associated Vermin
your basic chav is usually 15-18 but can however, progress into early 20s before realising what idiots they have been and what they have do to screw up their life for ever.
chavs are easily recognised, they hang around on street corners, smoking cheap ciggarettes and wearing fake sportswear.
the usual chav speaks in a language that normal people can't understand without a translator. the chav language's sentances will always start with "yerr bruvv" and end with "innit".
the female form of a chav goes by the name of chavette. these girls are usually between the ages of 10-13 and instead of finding a chav their age to mate with, they settle for one which is 2-3 years older. chavettes will usually produce more than 5 baby chavs who will live only with the chavette, as the father chav is in prison.
now you have the infomation you need, go now. and avoid this species of human.
your basic chav is usually 15-18 but can however, progress into early 20s before realising what idiots they have been and what they have do to screw up their life for ever.
chavs are easily recognised, they hang around on street corners, smoking cheap ciggarettes and wearing fake sportswear.
the usual chav speaks in a language that normal people can't understand without a translator. the chav language's sentances will always start with "yerr bruvv" and end with "innit".
the female form of a chav goes by the name of chavette. these girls are usually between the ages of 10-13 and instead of finding a chav their age to mate with, they settle for one which is 2-3 years older. chavettes will usually produce more than 5 baby chavs who will live only with the chavette, as the father chav is in prison.
now you have the infomation you need, go now. and avoid this species of human.
by SoLameImKool October 5, 2007
A cancerous polyp on the metaphorical anus of the UK.
Males usually in tracksuits and baseball caps, legs of the same said tracksuits tucked into the socks. The speculation is that it reduces "drag" when running away from the police.
Females can be observed herding many children, rarely the offspring will know who their father is or even have the same one.
The proper arena for proof of paternity for the chav is the Jeremy Kyle show as long as the chav makes sure on the day that they have greasy hair, a vile attitude and less than ten teeth.
The female of the species most commonly wear giant hoop earrings which can be seen from low earth orbiting spacecraft. The Essex facelift hairstyle is preferred, the hair pulled so tightly back from the face that the smallest facial expression becomes impossible.
Lots of gold tinted jewellery is a must have accessory. Argos is the desired outlet for these tawdry baubles of chav office, the more gaudy the "bling" as it is known, the higher the chav ranking.
The male example of a chav will be comfiest when with 10 or more of his kind, usually loitering outside corner shops and fast food outlets spitting and drinking cans of Fosters or Carling, verbally abusing passers by.
But only when with his brethren do we see the cocky attitude and foul mouth of the chav. That is of course if you can actually understand what he is saying as to the rest of humanity it sounds like the grunting and squawking of pigs being tortured to death.
Males usually in tracksuits and baseball caps, legs of the same said tracksuits tucked into the socks. The speculation is that it reduces "drag" when running away from the police.
Females can be observed herding many children, rarely the offspring will know who their father is or even have the same one.
The proper arena for proof of paternity for the chav is the Jeremy Kyle show as long as the chav makes sure on the day that they have greasy hair, a vile attitude and less than ten teeth.
The female of the species most commonly wear giant hoop earrings which can be seen from low earth orbiting spacecraft. The Essex facelift hairstyle is preferred, the hair pulled so tightly back from the face that the smallest facial expression becomes impossible.
Lots of gold tinted jewellery is a must have accessory. Argos is the desired outlet for these tawdry baubles of chav office, the more gaudy the "bling" as it is known, the higher the chav ranking.
The male example of a chav will be comfiest when with 10 or more of his kind, usually loitering outside corner shops and fast food outlets spitting and drinking cans of Fosters or Carling, verbally abusing passers by.
But only when with his brethren do we see the cocky attitude and foul mouth of the chav. That is of course if you can actually understand what he is saying as to the rest of humanity it sounds like the grunting and squawking of pigs being tortured to death.
Imchavinitblud
by The Cuttlefish of Cthulhu August 16, 2010