When you take a shit on the bottom of a body of water and try to race your turd(s) to the top.
Marc Murphy somehow pulled off a successful Kentucky Driftwood. Classic.
by lifeafterlove August 20, 2022
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When a man starts spending less time with the bros: this is generally caused by his hope of "getting some" with his new girlfriend.
Mark: "Hey man, have you seen John lately since he started dating that new chick?"
Paul: "No i haven't... i think he may have become a victim of The Driftwood Effect."
by Sparkles the Tri-corn March 1, 2012
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this school sucks, it’s full of wanna be gangsters and girls who think their pretty but no their just popular pretty, the 6th graders think they da shit, and the 7th graders thinking smoking is cool, and the 8th graders really don’t gaf tbh.
Driftwood Middle School
by daily shit talker September 6, 2021
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When a man gets an erection while defecating and his head touches the inside of the toilet bowl on the dry part.
I just had a huge dump, but I got some beached driftwood during it so im gonna go take a shower.
by Sum dude 42069 July 28, 2021
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When a member of the reptile species gets a boner in the water and tries to play it cool by laying in a plank-like fashion.

(Note: never insult a Southern Floridian Alligator with drift wood... you'll poke your eye out.)
Jason: I went down to the beach and saw the Geico Gecko doing the backstroke and he looked more like a shark!
Hal: Mad driftwood?
Jason: Reptile driftwood fo' sho'!
by thebee'sknees March 9, 2012
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