Thousands of years ago, before the dawn of man as we knew him, there was Sir Santa of Claus, an ape-like creature making crude and pointless toys out of mammoth bones and his own waste. Hurling them at chimp like creatures with crinkled hands, regardless of how they behaved the previous year. These so called toys were buried as witches and defecated upon and hurled at predators that were awoken by the searing grunts of their children. It wasn't a holly-jolly Christmas that year, for many were killed...
A warlike race of elves from the tenth planet landed on the ice-encased Earth and were immeadiatly enslaved by the unevolved Santa-ape to make his toys using galatic elven technology. For ever more fancier models, toys were made into recognizable shapes and given names like "train." But these toys were also thrown at predators and defecated upon because they were so stupid, Christmas still sucked in a big way.
A warlike race of elves from the tenth planet landed on the ice-encased Earth and were immeadiatly enslaved by the unevolved Santa-ape to make his toys using galatic elven technology. For ever more fancier models, toys were made into recognizable shapes and given names like "train." But these toys were also thrown at predators and defecated upon because they were so stupid, Christmas still sucked in a big way.
by John January 14, 2004
by suckondat November 23, 2016
Oh shit! It says Santa not Satan...well, it sounds pretty good, and if we cover him up in some big red fur coat nobody will notice!
by Peter Adams January 7, 2004
by BandGiggles2017 February 27, 2017
by gravisan November 18, 2006
A communist.
Karl Marx, Lennin, and Poppa Smurf all had beards. 2/3 Are communists. Santa has a beard <i> and </i> dresses in red. He must be a commie.
by Nick January 4, 2004
A man from Saint Cloud who made it snow, year round if you know what I mean...until he blew his brains out with a 9mm due to CTE and snow induced brain trauma
by Santas’ Little Helper(s) October 17, 2018