a black comedian who thinks every one who ain't black is a racists. he is so funny that i'd see every movie he's in cuz i kno its funny.
by lil' romeo's wifey December 24, 2005
An unfunny and seriously overrated, African-American comedian renowned for starring in his self-titled, comedy sitcom Everybody Hates Chris, being a cast member of Saturday Night Live in the 1990's, hosting the Academy Awards and starring in a string of hopelessly, cringe-inducingly, unfunny films like Nurse Betty, Bad Company, Beverley Hills Ninja and Down to Earth.
Rock's comedy routines/skits primarily revolve African-American culture (which resonates well with his typically 80-90% Black audiences he performs for), as well as swearing his head off and using the N Word profusely.
If he was a Caucasian/Asian/Hispanic or any other racial category, he would be booed off stage so loudly that his raspy, hoarse, "I-just-swallowed-razorblades" voice would be drowned out once and for all.
The man has no material outside of Racism against African-Americans and Rap Culture, as well as being totally clueless about impeccably-timed delivery.
Chris is much like a dim-witted and sheltered version of Dave Chapelle, who likes to critique and over-analyze Black society without having experienced even 1/4 of the stuff he refers to as being normal parts of a Black lifestyle.
Rock's comedy routines/skits primarily revolve African-American culture (which resonates well with his typically 80-90% Black audiences he performs for), as well as swearing his head off and using the N Word profusely.
If he was a Caucasian/Asian/Hispanic or any other racial category, he would be booed off stage so loudly that his raspy, hoarse, "I-just-swallowed-razorblades" voice would be drowned out once and for all.
The man has no material outside of Racism against African-Americans and Rap Culture, as well as being totally clueless about impeccably-timed delivery.
Chris is much like a dim-witted and sheltered version of Dave Chapelle, who likes to critique and over-analyze Black society without having experienced even 1/4 of the stuff he refers to as being normal parts of a Black lifestyle.
Chris Rock on stage: "You don’t need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control! Man, we need to control the bullets!!!"
99% Black audience: "AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA, MA' MAN CHRIS BE FUNNY AS HELL, FO SHO!"
Sole White person in the audience: "Wtf was that? I just wasted 75 of my hard-earned dollars."
99% Black audience: "AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA, MA' MAN CHRIS BE FUNNY AS HELL, FO SHO!"
Sole White person in the audience: "Wtf was that? I just wasted 75 of my hard-earned dollars."
by Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo89 August 3, 2010
by Isabeya Rock November 5, 2013
a horribly unfunny comedian with the most irratating voice in the world, no comedic timing and no idea what a punchline is, just disguises random words that vageuly relate to the subject as one. Also noted for seeing racism where there is none.
Chris Rock: Doctors don't cure shit! They don't cure shit! The last disease doctors cured was polio, when's the last time you met someone with polio?
Impersonating a boss and his employee
Chris Rock: "Why weren't you at work today?" "Oh, my polio's actin' up again!" They don't cure shit!
me:what the hell? why is that funny?? how does it relate? what does the extinction of disease have to do with Physicians "not curing shit"
Chris Rock: There are three types of women in the world: A: Women that give NO head. B: Women that give just enough head to shut ya up and my favorite C: the women that want nothing more than to suck a dick.
me:uhhh..ok. what about women is enjoy it ocassinally? to only certain ppl? wont suck a horribly unfunny guys dick? I could go on and on dissing this very inconclusive, poorly thought out "punchline"
Chris Rock: Guys, have you ever been with your lady in bed and you both talkin' dirty then you say somethin' that got you kicked out of bed. Where the woman's like "Fuck me! Harder, harder, harder! Fuck me daddy! Fuck me! Fuck me! Spank me! Fuck me!" "Alright, ya ho!" "Who're you callin' a ho? Who da fuck are you callin' a ho? Untie me!"
me:no. creepy fucker
Chris Rock: God forbid some brown people got wealthy... We can't have that! Because drugs come from brown countries. We can't have no wealthy brown people! There are no wealthy black or brown people in America.
me:Oprah, Denzel, Will Smith, your unfunny ass, Cosby.
“Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know? People are nice to ya, they give you the beneift o' the doubt... You drive a flash car down the freeway and the cops'll pull y'over and before they even look they like 'What the f**k are you doing?' and then they see it's you and they like 'Awww man, it's Chris Rock, it's okay, man we thought you was a nigga'
me:its not a matter of race. white people+white celebs get pulled over. Exact same thing happens. they let the celeb go. they give the mid class a hard time. thanks for seeing things that arent there.
Impersonating a boss and his employee
Chris Rock: "Why weren't you at work today?" "Oh, my polio's actin' up again!" They don't cure shit!
me:what the hell? why is that funny?? how does it relate? what does the extinction of disease have to do with Physicians "not curing shit"
Chris Rock: There are three types of women in the world: A: Women that give NO head. B: Women that give just enough head to shut ya up and my favorite C: the women that want nothing more than to suck a dick.
me:uhhh..ok. what about women is enjoy it ocassinally? to only certain ppl? wont suck a horribly unfunny guys dick? I could go on and on dissing this very inconclusive, poorly thought out "punchline"
Chris Rock: Guys, have you ever been with your lady in bed and you both talkin' dirty then you say somethin' that got you kicked out of bed. Where the woman's like "Fuck me! Harder, harder, harder! Fuck me daddy! Fuck me! Fuck me! Spank me! Fuck me!" "Alright, ya ho!" "Who're you callin' a ho? Who da fuck are you callin' a ho? Untie me!"
me:no. creepy fucker
Chris Rock: God forbid some brown people got wealthy... We can't have that! Because drugs come from brown countries. We can't have no wealthy brown people! There are no wealthy black or brown people in America.
me:Oprah, Denzel, Will Smith, your unfunny ass, Cosby.
“Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know? People are nice to ya, they give you the beneift o' the doubt... You drive a flash car down the freeway and the cops'll pull y'over and before they even look they like 'What the f**k are you doing?' and then they see it's you and they like 'Awww man, it's Chris Rock, it's okay, man we thought you was a nigga'
me:its not a matter of race. white people+white celebs get pulled over. Exact same thing happens. they let the celeb go. they give the mid class a hard time. thanks for seeing things that arent there.
by asf April 20, 2006
Will Smith slapped Chris Rock because he joked about his wife. Chris Rock then says “Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” Then Will Smith screams and says “Keep my wife’s name out of your fucking mouth!” Chris Rock says: “Wow”
by nike kicks March 29, 2022
It's basically "I will smack you in the face", but it's referencing to the incident at the 2022 Oscars where Will Smith smacked Chris Rock in the face because of a joke Chris Rock made about his wife. However, there's a controversy whether the act Will Smith committed was justified because of the fact that his wife, Jada Smith, had cheated on him. Some will say that it was, and some will say it wasn't, then there are people who will say that both Will Smith and Chris Rock were in the wrong, because Chris made a joke about Jada, and Will got up and smacked him, hence, the events go from making an inappropriate joke about someone's wife, and the husband reacted inappropriately, hence, the point of why Chris Rock and Will Smith were both in the wrong.
by D0c 4n0nym0u5 March 31, 2022
Man, that chick went Will Smith on me! But I kept it together. Got the job done. Totally Chris Rocked it.
by DJ Ron Shaft April 12, 2022