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turtle

electing for a more antisocial option when presented with an invitation
bro 1: "dude do you want to come over tonight? stacy will be there and she's bringing a ton of hookers and lots of blow"
bro 2: "nah, dude, i'm not really feeling up to all that social interaction -- i think i'm just gonna turtle and go home and play GTA"
by handlejandle January 31, 2016
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Turtling

To do turtling, you will need 4 or more people and the class turtle. Each person involved will fuck the turtle and the last person to nut will have to drink all the nut out of the dead turtle.
Me and my class wanted to pull a prank on the teacher, so we decided to do turtling!
by The ultimate businessman October 13, 2024
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two handed turtle

when someone gives a guy a handjob with one hand and catches his shit with the other as its coming out of his ass.
David: Hey man! Little Red gave me a two handed turtle last night.
by muleymomma May 19, 2014
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Sick turtle

Someone who is slow, (Crippled) and gets sick a lot; because they have a weak immune system.
by Sick turtle September 23, 2016
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Bacon Turtle

A Turtle, usually a King Turtle of the Royal Turtle Guard. Also a word for assorted meats shaped like a turtle.

A Bacon Turtle loves bacon and spreads the word and belief of Bacon. Bacon Turtles and Turtles alike are enemies of the Panda Army and the Penguin Union. The King Bacon Turtle was defeated at The Puffin-Koala Gap by the Pan-da Warriors in PANDA 7 (Panda Years), and he later retreated to plot an all-out war on the Panda Army. The Bacon Turtle and his Royal Turtle Guard is no match for the Elite Pan-da Warriors.

The Bacon Turtle began at a humble little wood building on the corner of a busy street, titled: Bacon Turtle & Associates. They sold chocolate-covered bacon and bacon shaped like turtles. Since then, they have grown into a legitomato army. The Bacon Turtle and his associates are the exclusive members of the I Don't Care Club. The Turtle Motto is "Viva la Bacon, TGIF" (Long Live Bacon, Thank God It's Friday).
Bacon Turtle: Kneel before your almighty ruler, the Bacon Turtle!
Panda: No.
Bacon Turtle: Then you will face a life of bacon deprivation. Take him away, Royal Turtle Guard!
Panda: Is this some sort of torture, because I'm not addicted to bacon...
Bacon Turtle: Are you insulting my religion? Do you wish to say that you are against bacon? You will be locked in a room with bacon!
Panda: Free bacon is fine with me...

Epic Meal Time: We're cooking up some BACON, AND TURTLES! THAT MEANS BACON TURTLES!
by Panda Army Representative January 16, 2014
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Turtle Racing

Three fuckers spread out across the entire highway going the same speed not allowing anyone to pass.
Man those fuckers where turtle racing on the way here, I wanted to kill myself
by muahahaha6942069 December 3, 2024
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