Schweff

A guy who spends loads of time with girls and ditches his mates to be with them, but never gets any pussy.

Schweff: Yeah, Katie and I are like best friends. I think she likes me!

Schweff's Friend: Look mate, she doesn't like you as in she wants to fuck you. She likes you because you are a schweff.

by silent_deadly123 October 05, 2011

Schweff

Somebody who tries to hit on girls, but only stays in the friendzone for ever, and ever, and ever ever. Basically a schweff is the personification of friendzone.

"Hey, did you stay over at Lara's last night?"
"Nah mate, nothing happened, I just walked her back to her ex boyfriend's house.."
"Aaa mate you're a massive schweff!!!"

by StellaDrinkerNotts June 21, 2017

Sergeant Schweff

Sergeant Schweff refers to a specific type of schweff - one who not only attempts to chat up women but also men. This is not in a homosexual manner, it is merely to better his social situation and 'network'.

Guy 1: Why is Sam being so nice to Tim?

Guy 2: 'Cos he's Sergeant Schweff - he's trying to be his best friend

Guy 1: Ohhhhh.

by Stodleh March 14, 2010

Schweff

When you’re just seconds away from having sexual intercourse with someone and you walk out and never speak to them again

“Oh yeah dude, we were totally about to have sex but I schweffed her good.”

by Janner Giles March 22, 2022

Euro-schweffe

The continental equivalent of a schweffe. Much like their British counterparts euro-schweffes make up for with money what they lack in self-awareness.

Slicked back hair, gillets and a penchent for paddle are strong indicators. Those found in London will typically work in finance and summer in Majorca.

That bar was full of euro-schweffes, there wasn't a sock in sight.

by Piggins123 August 05, 2025

Schweff

Manlike kenny

Kenny the schweff

by Trapao September 26, 2019