1) People who reject the world and refuse to just get along with everyone else
2) CPS's worst nightmare
3) The biggest media nazis in the world
4) One reason not to own a home
2) CPS's worst nightmare
3) The biggest media nazis in the world
4) One reason not to own a home
1) Zeke: Oh wassap! Ay man, u wanna come to mah house dis weekend? We gonna go help rebuild the mosque downtown.
Victor: GUH!! HOW DARE YOU HELP OTHER RELIGIONS!
2) Operator: 911 whats your emergency?
Caller: Um yes hello?! I found this kid all beaten and bruised and and theres something taped to his back that says "you have been banished by the elders"
Operator: Probably another Jehovah's Witnesses, we will be over there right away.
3) Trey: Hey dude, you seen Devon anywhere?
Josh: I hear he got his eyes gouged out by his parents for watching Spongebob Squarepants
4) Nate: daddy there's a man with a bunch of little books outside
Chris: Shit. Nate, get the shotgun.
Victor: GUH!! HOW DARE YOU HELP OTHER RELIGIONS!
2) Operator: 911 whats your emergency?
Caller: Um yes hello?! I found this kid all beaten and bruised and and theres something taped to his back that says "you have been banished by the elders"
Operator: Probably another Jehovah's Witnesses, we will be over there right away.
3) Trey: Hey dude, you seen Devon anywhere?
Josh: I hear he got his eyes gouged out by his parents for watching Spongebob Squarepants
4) Nate: daddy there's a man with a bunch of little books outside
Chris: Shit. Nate, get the shotgun.
by Dr. Snicklefritz :D February 21, 2011
a door darkener who wants to spread the dubious good news about Jehovah, but doesn't have enough mental processing power to sustain an argument about it.
I just had a jehovah's twitness at the door - he was thick as pig shit and twice as smelly so I slammed the door on him.
by mockschmock December 12, 2006
A know-it-all blowhard atheist who has managed to become as obnoxious as a Jehovah's Witness with their anti-evangelical mission to use big words like SCIENCE and LOGIC and REASON to prove whatever they say is true. (i.e. "You should have sex with me because I am Pro-Science, if you don't then you are a stupid religious bigot who believes in creationism and or molesting children!") Jehovah's Atheists usually don't come to your door but they are all over Facebook carefully reading your sentences, making sure there are no hidden theistic undertones, which would require they set you straight immediately. Because obviously, if you are not in complete agreement with Dawkins, Hitchens, and the 19-year-old dude on the Internet who makes atheist memes all day long, you are a bible-humping closeted Christian.
"Oh God, I accidentally said God in a colloquial context. Here come the Jehovahs Atheists to tell me why I should not believe in God. Oh crap, I said God again! Oh no, they're here! Hello...Yes...yes...okay...yes...hey look my new Jehovah's Atheist friend, I really have to go to work now....but....yes...yes...I know, I know about Bill Nye and Ken Ham...yes I know there is no heaven and hell and if there was that would make God really mean...yes...yes...okay, fine. Fine. Please, yes, give that YouTube link so I can educate myself. Can I go now?!"
by AttemptedRapture February 20, 2014
Jehovah's Witnesses are normal people who follow the teachings of Jehovah and The Watchtower. It's not the religion people find hard to understand, it's just annoying that they believe everyone should become Witnesses like them.
by raffa April 22, 2005
Man, that bitch from the Kingdom Hall and I went out last night, you know the one, the Elder's daughter? Yeah, well she was sucking my dick so hard and she jammed her finger in my ass. Well, I Jehovah Witnessed right in her mouth! I thought I died and went to heaven cuz God was right there. We goin' out again tomorrow.
by Nelson Birdwell June 18, 2010
1a) A cult like socity, that does not celebrate the following hoildays:
1b) 1.christmas! ( omg are you serious)
2.thanksgiving! (code name: turkey: because they belive we worship the turkey!! again OMG!)
3.halloween! ( Demons!! Demons!!)
4.Birthdays!! (yes birthdays!! so whats are still 7 dude it's been 30 years!!?!)( don't do birthdays because someone died on that day!!)
5.any and all government hoildays! ( so on laborday your ass better be at work!!)
2) JW's also are known for knocking on your door!, and trying to ""save your soul"" (on saturdays) and PO people on there day off!! they hand out pamphlets on the ending of the world. (what a way to start your day.)
3) CULT!
4) also a from of hide-n-go seek!!( HIDE there coming down the street!!)
1b) 1.christmas! ( omg are you serious)
2.thanksgiving! (code name: turkey: because they belive we worship the turkey!! again OMG!)
3.halloween! ( Demons!! Demons!!)
4.Birthdays!! (yes birthdays!! so whats are still 7 dude it's been 30 years!!?!)( don't do birthdays because someone died on that day!!)
5.any and all government hoildays! ( so on laborday your ass better be at work!!)
2) JW's also are known for knocking on your door!, and trying to ""save your soul"" (on saturdays) and PO people on there day off!! they hand out pamphlets on the ending of the world. (what a way to start your day.)
3) CULT!
4) also a from of hide-n-go seek!!( HIDE there coming down the street!!)
steve: shhh.... you hear that!
paul: yeah!...what is that!
steve:...... O shit!! its those jehovah's wittness! kill the lights!!
paul: damnit i think they saw me!
steve: paul i'm scared
JW's:*knock knock knock* we saw yo ass. we aint leavin till you open the door!!
both: NOOO!!!
paul: yeah!...what is that!
steve:...... O shit!! its those jehovah's wittness! kill the lights!!
paul: damnit i think they saw me!
steve: paul i'm scared
JW's:*knock knock knock* we saw yo ass. we aint leavin till you open the door!!
both: NOOO!!!
by paul y steve November 28, 2009
When the Jehovahs went Jehovah Witnessing, they pissed everyone they came in contact with off.alot alot alot.
by Mardi and Gras February 20, 2009