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crazy calendar

The official name of the calendar that mental asylum inmates, delusionists, and Qnuts follow instead of the regular calendar. The crazy calendar has the same number of days as the regular calendar, including those of leap year.

However that is the only similarity. The calendar has only 6 months instead of 12, because both the delusionals and Qnuts especially have to short of a memory span to remember the names of 12 months.

Each month has 60 days, with the exception of February which has 65 days. During a leap year, February has 66 days.
1: You know James?
2: You mean that delusional dude, who also supports Q?
1: Yah, he was saying some weird stuff like June 47th.
2: He probably is following the crazy calendar like all the over-insanes follow. Their June 47th is our December 18th.
by MST3K I like April 13, 2022
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The Law of the Calendar

The philosophy that because the first day of Spring is on March 21st, all winter weather must cease to exist.
Johnny: Wait, it's snowing in April??
Jack: C'mon weather, follow the Law of the Calendar!!!
by cstrong April 15, 2022
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Alternative NNN Calendar

Jack-off January
Fuck-time February
Masturbating March
Anal April
Moaning May
Jizzing June
Juicy July
Ate-out August
Sucking September
Ovulating October
Nutting November
Dick-riding December
I am participating in Ate-out August instead of No Nut November this year.

Yo bro, you trying the Alternative NNN Calendar this year?
Of course bro, i am always up for a challenge.
by Delays April 15, 2024
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Toothless Calendar

Toothless Calendar- a toothless calendar is a calendar that tracks something of zero value over a long period of time, usually marking each week and the weekly marking is usually written “xxx Week’s” with incorrect use of the apostrophe.

For example, my wife has been tracking how many weeks my neighbor has yet to pick up the aluminum tin blowing around their yard. Her calendar is marked every week as “ 12 Week’s Tin in yard”

The Toothless Calendar started not as the meaning is “without teeth” but rather as the first calendar tracked cars that were parked from a guy named “Toothless Tom”
My Toothless Calendar has the neighbors at 12 weeks and the aluminum tin is still not picked up yet.
by Doing it all the time March 19, 2024
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Gluomday Calendar

In connection to the 8th day Gluomday, the Gluomday calendar Is the only official calendar to recognise the existence of Gluomday, the calendar is separate to the Gregorian Calendar, as it is currently in its first year due to the recent discovery of Gluomday on February 7, 2023, February 7, 2023 is considered January 1, 1 in the Gluomday Calendar.
Ashfaq: I do not support Gluomday, and think it is a false word
Roberts: You will bow to the Gluomday Calendar!
by gluomdayisreal February 10, 2023
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Calendar gouge

When an Airbnb host refuses to accept a booking request unless you extend it to fill a gap in their calendar
I tried to go on holiday, and I thought I found the perfect place until I tried to book it and the host turned around and tried to calendar gouge me.
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Tinder Advent Calendar

Swiping psychotically through Tinder after dinner each night of the holidays to kill time and ensure matches.

Alone in quarantine or bored stiff on their parents' couch, young singles everywhere swipe to the end of their daily allowance, reaping a heinous daily match with a past-prime hometown hottie, or the waiter from the cafe downstairs you've never seen with his mask off. Tinder Advent Calendar matches offer all the short-lived indulgence of the advent chocolates of childhood, but with the added risk of a dick pic.
Harriet's Tinder Advent Calendar currently features Abs Joe from Chem, now a year-round receptionist, and Cute Window Guy who makes ugly infographics on his Instagram.
by daltonjfk December 17, 2020
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