Lonestar Region Calendar Clearance

Rina Pressly talks for 1 hour straight and as a whole we don't do shit.

The Lonestar Region Calendar Clearance was absolutely fucking awful. You've gotta be shitting my dick.

by kbeast123 January 31, 2023

Alternative NNN Calendar

Jack-off January
Fuck-time February
Masturbating March
Anal April
Moaning May
Jizzing June
Juicy July
Ate-out August
Sucking September
Ovulating October
Nutting November
Dick-riding December

I am participating in Ate-out August instead of No Nut November this year.

Yo bro, you trying the Alternative NNN Calendar this year?
Yeah of course bro.

by Delays April 15, 2024

bobistic calendar

In the bobistic calendar, you don't have any past or future. Yesterday? What's that? Tomorrow? What's that? What I ate this morning? What's a morning? You just have the present. And the present is in the year 202030. When was Jesus born? Jesus is born at 202030. When are the next elections? In 202030. What was the previous year? It was 202030. Next Year? Thats also 202030. Yesterday, tomorrow, next week? None of them exists. Only 202030.

The bobistic calendar tells me that we are in 202030.

by fermentedcola December 26, 2024

Door-to-Door Calendar Salesman

Initially created to avoid having to say the term "groomer" (or relative terms such as "grooming") aloud when in the company of people, or in a place where you'd rather not have people hear you talking of such a topic. Especially when it comes to discussing the topic to someone who is easily triggered by the initial subject.

"Door-to-Door Calendar Salesman" is a code-term to use in place of a "child groomer."

"Selling calendars" means to commit the act of grooming.
"Going door to door" means they're searching for minors to groom.
"Asking a minor for calendars or photos of their calendars" means they're asking a minor for illegal sexual favours, or for sexually explicit photos of said minor.

Person A: "Have you heard that Onision has been going door to door and selling calendars?"
Person B: "What the fuck is up with that? Selling calendars...He should go to prison for it."

by horsehorsehorse December 25, 2021

Calendar

How about bring out a calendar.

Hey Urbie how about create a calendar.
Yeah I'd buy one!

by Don't you know who I am December 8, 2023

Tinder Advent Calendar

Swiping psychotically through Tinder after dinner each night of the holidays to kill time and ensure matches.

Alone in quarantine or bored stiff on their parents' couch, young singles everywhere swipe to the end of their daily allowance, reaping a heinous daily match with a past-prime hometown hottie, or the waiter from the cafe downstairs you've never seen with his mask off. Tinder Advent Calendar matches offer all the short-lived indulgence of the advent chocolates of childhood, but with the added risk of a dick pic.

Harriet's Tinder Advent Calendar currently features Abs Joe from Chem, now a year-round receptionist, and Cute Window Guy who makes ugly infographics on his Instagram.

by daltonjfk December 17, 2020

Jackson Calendar

A calendar that completely skips over July 1st and has June 32nd instead to avoid failing No Jerk July on the first day

Maddox failed bro he had to use the Jackson Calendar

by TheStupendousOne July 2, 2025