52 definitions by daltonjfk
What everyone doing Dry January has secretly started by the middle of the month.
They may not be washing back Buds with Whiskey suds, but don’t be fooled. They’re high as balls.
They may not be washing back Buds with Whiskey suds, but don’t be fooled. They’re high as balls.
Ah yes, Leonard and Celine back at their old charade - pushing the wine glasses away as if we didn’t know they’re in full-blown Sky High January mode and smoked three blunts before they came to dinner.
by daltonjfk January 17, 2020
by daltonjfk August 30, 2019
An honorable blessing provided to frat brothers, bankers, and members of Corporate America who have passed out at a party.
Bryan and Michael had a few too many beer bongs at the all-day BBQ and passed out in the flower bed. Fortunately, they were wearing their Patagonia vests. We pray that they rest in fleece.
by daltonjfk September 23, 2019
Your friend who goes to the Far East and comes back wearing silk and addicted to a drug you've never heard of.
Whereas Marco Polo brought pasta from China to Europe, this douchebag just brings werid pipes he claims form part of the local custom, but where in fact sold to him by locals playing him for the fool he is.
Probably converted to Buddhism to his gap year but doesn't understand it at all.
Whereas Marco Polo brought pasta from China to Europe, this douchebag just brings werid pipes he claims form part of the local custom, but where in fact sold to him by locals playing him for the fool he is.
Probably converted to Buddhism to his gap year but doesn't understand it at all.
Yann: "Payton's back from his gap year in Southeast Asia. He's been wearing silk and smoking some weird powder."
Tyson: “Oh good. Narco Polo has returned.”
Tyson: “Oh good. Narco Polo has returned.”
by daltonjfk October 3, 2019
The act of hiding one’s dirty dishes under their roommate’s dirty dishes in the sink.
Gives the impression that the Mess Chess player has not contributed to the rising pile and allows him to pin the blame on his unsuspecting roommate. Expert-level players will make sure to eat the same thing their roommate last ate in order to hoodwink and bamboozle him into thinking the dishes are all his.
Gives the impression that the Mess Chess player has not contributed to the rising pile and allows him to pin the blame on his unsuspecting roommate. Expert-level players will make sure to eat the same thing their roommate last ate in order to hoodwink and bamboozle him into thinking the dishes are all his.
“Louie will never realise those extra plates I stashed under the pan he left in the sink are mine. I’ve checkmated him in Mess Chess.”
by daltonjfk September 8, 2019
The friend or flatmate whose glistening fingers are always in your food.
Mr. Steal Yo Meal keeps very little in his own refrigerator. Eyewitness reports typically mention fuzzy half-eaten salads from Sweetgreen, cold lasagna, and the last slice in the packet of cold cuts. Though he is never seen preparing his own food, Mr. Steal Yo Meal is never hungry because in under a second, his arachnid-like digits can pilfer half a portion of fries and a pan full of pasta you were going to eat later.
Mr. Steal Yo Meal keeps very little in his own refrigerator. Eyewitness reports typically mention fuzzy half-eaten salads from Sweetgreen, cold lasagna, and the last slice in the packet of cold cuts. Though he is never seen preparing his own food, Mr. Steal Yo Meal is never hungry because in under a second, his arachnid-like digits can pilfer half a portion of fries and a pan full of pasta you were going to eat later.
1. "Your Honor, the defendant was caught smacking his lips despite having not cooked any dinner for himself. The defense rests."
2. "The Judge finds Mr. Steal Yo Meal guilty of Grand Theft Nuggets and sentences him to a trip to the grocery store on his own damn card."
2. "The Judge finds Mr. Steal Yo Meal guilty of Grand Theft Nuggets and sentences him to a trip to the grocery store on his own damn card."
by daltonjfk November 6, 2019
an individual of such immeasurable stature that he may be mistaken for a terrestrial rock formation. Attracts enthusiasts but should be attempted only by trained professionals.
Liam: “Whoa dude, there’s a pair of legs over there at the bar all by themselves!”
Wolfrick: “Nah bro, lean your head back and you’ll see it’s really a Count Everest”
Wolfrick: “Nah bro, lean your head back and you’ll see it’s really a Count Everest”
by daltonjfk August 30, 2019