mike 

a guy with dark hair that likes to steal chap-stick and use it for his lips.

Look in Mikes pocket!

mike by broseph20 June 16, 2010

Mike 

Military slang for minutes

We will be arriving at the LZ in five mikes.

Mike by mikesama February 3, 2010

mike 

To do something incredibly stupid. To be retarded and look like an idiot at something.

He mike'd it up again. DOH!

mike by joesmoed October 5, 2007

Mike 

A gay prostitute who looks like a gorilla, usually found selling for a few bucks around high schools

Kid 1: whats that kid doing there?
Kid 2: leave him he's a freakin prostitute, a Mike.

Mike by Kinley66666 January 13, 2008

Mike 

A person generally known for his ability to fistfuck chimpanzees. Mike's seem to enjoy hanging out in dark alleys, with no pants on, while slapjacking to the beat of any song by Pantera.

Commonly known as the coolest person you will ever meat (and yes, it's spelled like that intentionally), Mike's have an insatiable appetite for eating babies.

One of Mike's favorite past times is hiding in bushes and throwing his own feces at passersby. While this sounds dirty, I assure you that Mike's are generally not a dirty creature. This has been documented by Mike's enthusiasm for his perfectly shorn nutsack... which will sometimes be presented as a "grapefruit" for those that are lucky enough to see it.

Hi, my name is Mike.

Mike by allupinyabuttfoshowitdelscorho February 5, 2010

Mike 

The guy who melts your insides the minute you look into his eyes. He’s calm and cool at first, but there’s a hot sexual fire brimming behind those smoldering eyes. His kisses send fire through every part of your body. He then throws you off track and ropes you in with his witty sense of humor and quirky comebacks. Then like a stealth panther, you’re captured and mesmerized by his warmth and kind heart. There’s no turning back now, you’re his captive audience, you’re trapped, you’re hypnotized, you’re drugged by his presence. There’s no escaping, he will forever be imprinted onto your soul. He is Mike, he is one of a kind and you are forever grateful for having a part of him in your life. He is your secret soulmate but you can never tell him that, because he fears commitment. So in the end, you can only write Urban Dictionary quotes and sweetly fantasize about a life with Mike. He also has a great ass, chest and shoulders which will rock your world.....just sayin.

There’s no one in the world like Mike, be like Mike!

Mike by BlondeBeachGal July 14, 2019

Mike 

that one weird male co-worker who constantly says the wrong thing at the wrong time, messes up his work on the regular and just gives a general feeling of creepiness, awkwardness in the workplace, bringing the atmosphere down. because, in every workplace, there's always a guy named "Mike".

the new guy just keeps staring at me and doesn't seem to know how to do his work, even after being trained for 3 weeks. he reminds me of that last guy, Mike.

Mike by bottomboy tj October 11, 2017