Skip to main content
Non-specific, preemptive block, preventing a "wah" for the entire statement. (See definitions of block and wah)
Bob: "BLOCKADE. This hot dog is way too big! It almost got stuck in my throat like three times. I just can't swallow things this big anymore.:

Gary: "Nice Blockade, Bob."
Blockade by Israel Lombardozi February 3, 2003

Blockade fart

This is a purely defensive fart. When another person in the general vicinity launches a stink rocket towards your person the only defense available outside of running away like a little girl being chased by a candy van is to deploy a blockade fart with the hope the it will keep the invading stench from roasting your sinuses.
My buddy dropped a pickled egg surprise. Thankfully I had a blockade fart to protect my perimeter or I would have clawed my nose off
Blockade fart by Slartifartfast December 22, 2017

mobile blockade 

Any variation of car(s), generally two or more, that all move the same damn speed in multiple lanes. Most often one of the drivers of a blockade vehicle is not paying attention and is in the passing lane, thus making it impossible for other cars to pass.

Drivers of said blockades are oblivious to honking/tailgating/light flashing. They have a sixth sense that keeps them at the exact speed of the car(s) next to them regardless of whether the other car attempts to speed up or slow down.

More often than not, annoyed drivers behind you will ride your ass thinking it will magically lift the blockade making for a most unpleasant experience.
Jeremy: dude whatthefuck you driving so slow for? i gotta drop a dookie

Thaddeous: SHUT THE FUCK UP! These commie shitfucks set up a mobile blockade the middle the damn highway. cant drive any faster.

Jeremy: fuck this shit, man
mobile blockade by rikki-bobbi November 4, 2009

Baton Rouge Blockade

Sticking a bar of soap up your anus in the shower to prevent leakage.
My ass was leaking so I used the Baton Rouge Blockade to seal off my ass.

cock blockade 

when a group of a female's friends form a pact to protect thier friend from any male contact.
oh my god, look at that massive cock blockade around her!
cock blockade by Ben Jammin February 10, 2005

cock blockade 

Scenario where more than one male or groups of males prevent one person from hooking up or talking to a girl.
Sonny: So did you get with Linda at the party?
Mike: Nah bro, Sam, Dan kept interupting on purpose, and Dustin was cock blocking, it was a freaking cock blockade, I couldn't get through.
cock blockade by Moojostuff November 18, 2009