Mexican Crosswalk
The sloppiest most disorganized gang bang you've ever seen. Nobody’s even sure where this lady came from. Is it even a woman? Did anybody check? There's a steady stream of people coming in and out of the room. Somebody is barbecuing ribs in the corner. A chicken walks through. Who brought a t-shirt gun? Two dogs wrestle over a turkey bone shaped like Lance Armstrong's fat sister and one gives up to take a shit on the carpet. There's a raffle draw for Single A baseball tickets. In the far corner a be-mulleted Peruvian musician with not enough teeth sings a barely passable Spanish version of Come On Eileen to two homely yet (slightly) moist 50-year-old twin sisters from Wisconsin, etc, etc
Named after the pure pandemonic crosswalk experience of Mexico City where simply crossing the road is a messy adventure in every step. Pedestrians are targets. Red lights are merely advisory. A chicken walks through. A toddler holding a partially eaten cob of corn is crying… or possibly choking?? Two seniors stop mid-street to dance to some music that has too many horns in it. Did I just step over an original Atari game console covered in sticky lotion? A guy with a cart full of heavy-duty safes, faucet heads and typewriters goes window to window of stopped cars to try and see if anybody needs to buy a heavy-duty safe, faucet head or typewriter, etc, etc
Named after the pure pandemonic crosswalk experience of Mexico City where simply crossing the road is a messy adventure in every step. Pedestrians are targets. Red lights are merely advisory. A chicken walks through. A toddler holding a partially eaten cob of corn is crying… or possibly choking?? Two seniors stop mid-street to dance to some music that has too many horns in it. Did I just step over an original Atari game console covered in sticky lotion? A guy with a cart full of heavy-duty safes, faucet heads and typewriters goes window to window of stopped cars to try and see if anybody needs to buy a heavy-duty safe, faucet head or typewriter, etc, etc
Guy 1: Hey, when I left the party last night the only people left were the lacrosse team and that old librarian from eastern Russia. How'd the night end?
Guy 2: *sigh* You'd never believe it but it turned into a bit of a Mexican Crosswalk...
Guy 2: *sigh* You'd never believe it but it turned into a bit of a Mexican Crosswalk...
Mexican Crosswalk by Dr Thwack February 18, 2019
Related Words
crosswalk distrust
The irrational suspicion held by every human that tells us we cannot hit a crosswalk button just once. Our intuition tells us that, if we only hit the button one time, the electronic signal will not be sent sufficiently to the traffic light. Therefore, every pedestrian makes a fist and hits the button -- rapid-fire style -- until lactic acid causes our triceps to cramp up and shut down.
Dan: Hey ‘Weed – you’re not playin’ Galaga. Hit the button a few times and then stand down.
Tim: Sorry, ‘Skinner. I’ve got major crosswalk distrust…and I don’t wanna miss my waxing appointment.
Tim: Sorry, ‘Skinner. I’ve got major crosswalk distrust…and I don’t wanna miss my waxing appointment.
crosswalk distrust by whiteboyDJ November 3, 2010
Criswelled
The act of attempting to buy a reasonable amount of beer or liquor for a person or group of people but then purchasing more then intended due to only spending a little more money
Leslie went to the liquor store to buy a six pack of beer but upon arriving noticed a 12 pack for only $3 more. She left with the 12 pack, she was criswelled.
Criswelled by aslcihsuslaze April 23, 2011