129 definitions by wizards sleeve

jizz fish

Another name for spunk. Under a microscope, man custard looks like a load of fish swimming about. Hence the term.

Chick: "I'm horny as fuck - cum in my face!"
Dude: "Eeuuuuuuuuurrrghh ... one load of jizz fish ... coming up!" <SPOODGE>

by wizards sleeve January 4, 2007

volcanic crater

A sadistic sexual practice in which a male coats his penis in muscle-rub (a medicinal heat rub such as Deep Heat, Fiery Jack or Menthol-Balm) and then has anal sex with another person who is unaware that they are being injected with the muscle-rub. Within minutes, the recipient’s sphincter and rectum while become irritated and can be likened to a volcanic crater.

Dude 1: "Yo, I totally freaked out my girlfriend the other night!"
Dude 2: "How so?"
Dude 1: "I'd just come back from the gym, still had my Deep Heat in my pocket and gave her a volcanic crater for a laugh!"

by wizards sleeve December 26, 2005

unwonked

To straighten out something that was wonky. Typically a crumpled, flacid cock.

"I'd been on the slack for days, then Paige appeared with her massive bangers and my dick unwonked itself in 2 seconds flat."

by wizards sleeve August 9, 2006

pork boy

1. Derogatory term for a homosexual person.

2. Derogatory term for a fat person.

"Yo, Fat Boy Tinkerbelle. I saw you with your new boyfriend - you is a pork boy, pork boy."

by wizards sleeve June 11, 2005

milfelation

Noun. The surprising and previously unknown discovery that one experiences when it becomes clear that older women are in fact fitter and more desirable than younger women.

Patient: "I don't know what to do, doctor. I'm married to a wonderful woman, I've got a great sex life, but every time I see 45 year old Brenda at the office, I get chest pains and need to go to the toilet."

Doctor: "Oh, that's nothing too serious, normal for a chap in his twenties like you. You've obviously had a recent milfelation. Here's a prescription for '40 and Over 40', drop it in at the Fags 'n' Mags shop and you'll be back to normal before you can say ‘Women's Weekly.’"

by wizards sleeve May 19, 2005

Ghost snot

Yet another word for jizz. This time it's the stuff that a dude leaves on his girlfriend’s face when she's asleep and he's got home late and pissed up, thinking it's a laugh. Most often first detected the morning after.

Delia (waking up): "What the fuck is this all over my face!"
Jack (very hung over): "Errrr .... ghost snot?"

by wizards sleeve June 8, 2005

welly in the mud

Describing a big fat sloppy pussy. So called because when you fuck one of these mush buckets, it sounds just like a welly in soft mud.

Dude 1: "That fat chick you used to go out with. She was good in the sack?"
Dude 2: "Yeah, real juicy - man she sounded like a welly in the mud some nights!"
Dude 1: "Awesome!"

by wizards sleeve September 4, 2006