40 definitions by the evil steve
Chest-thumping churchgoer / religious donor who loudly proclaims his or her righteousness based solely on their Sunday attendance / offering. Tend to think they can get away with being braggardly arrogant self-important arseholes because they actually spend an hour or two in / a few bucks on church every week. They tend to cover their auto bumpers and SUV backglass with stickers alluding to Jesus, quote Biblical scripture completely out of context, and privately pleasure themselves to kiddie porn while chiding anybody who dares mention anything sexual in public.
The jagoff who cut you off coming out of the church parking lot - you know, the one in the $49 polyester suit jacket who flipped you off - this past Sunday morning is a McChristian.
by the evil steve August 15, 2005
based loosely on the Julian Assange case, referring to the fact that what counts as anything from gross sexual imposition down to just uncool sexual activites in Australia can be considered rape in Sweden. Used to alert braggart friends that their boasting is not particulary welcome. Also used to be a smartass.
Dude 1: "Yeah, the bitch said no to getting all up in dat azz, but I went there anyway."
Dude 2: "Dude! That's rape in Sweden!"
or
Dude 1: "Jagoff walks around with his pants around his knees, so I grab the waistband on his BVDs and hike 'em towards the heavens!"
Dude 2: "snicker Yeah... but that's rape in Sweden! chuckle"
Dude 2: "Dude! That's rape in Sweden!"
or
Dude 1: "Jagoff walks around with his pants around his knees, so I grab the waistband on his BVDs and hike 'em towards the heavens!"
Dude 2: "snicker Yeah... but that's rape in Sweden! chuckle"
by the evil steve December 20, 2010
1) That little town on the road to Heavington between Plowed and Blotto
2) Irretrievably drunk - past the point of it being fun but short of it being dangerous.
2) Irretrievably drunk - past the point of it being fun but short of it being dangerous.
1) Check out Phil over there at the bar clinging to his stool like he's riding piggyback - methinks our boy be arsed!
2) OK, I'm arsed. If I get to the morning without hurling, I deserve a fecking medal.
2) OK, I'm arsed. If I get to the morning without hurling, I deserve a fecking medal.
by the evil steve August 17, 2005
Obviously, ALL CAPS is the act of typing in all capital letters. The following definitions and examples are to tell you what the all-caps typer's intent is:
1) When used sparingly, typing in all caps emphasizes those words the writer considers critical.
2) When writing rhyme, all caps indicates the syllable/word/beat to be read as accentuated.
3) When used like singles in a strip club, all caps indicates the writer thinks nearly everything spewing from his mouth is of utmost importance. This is the same kind of douchebag who highlights 85% of a textbook. Usually, the writing was forwarded to him from some dogmatic groupthink processing center he subscribes to, but to feel like he contributed, he'll all-caps a fartload of words. Often seen with excessive exclamation points.
4a) When an entire piece of writing is all caps, that person's caps lock is stuck. They need a new keyboard.
4b) When an entire piece of writing is all caps, it was written by a COBOL or FORTRAN programmer, or data-entry person who has worked on COBOL or FORTRAN programs since 1979. They're lost to us on the whole caps-lock issue... just snap their suspenders or flick paperclips into their beehives and move on.
1) When used sparingly, typing in all caps emphasizes those words the writer considers critical.
2) When writing rhyme, all caps indicates the syllable/word/beat to be read as accentuated.
3) When used like singles in a strip club, all caps indicates the writer thinks nearly everything spewing from his mouth is of utmost importance. This is the same kind of douchebag who highlights 85% of a textbook. Usually, the writing was forwarded to him from some dogmatic groupthink processing center he subscribes to, but to feel like he contributed, he'll all-caps a fartload of words. Often seen with excessive exclamation points.
4a) When an entire piece of writing is all caps, that person's caps lock is stuck. They need a new keyboard.
4b) When an entire piece of writing is all caps, it was written by a COBOL or FORTRAN programmer, or data-entry person who has worked on COBOL or FORTRAN programs since 1979. They're lost to us on the whole caps-lock issue... just snap their suspenders or flick paperclips into their beehives and move on.
1) Before feeding lions sausages, DO NOT rub your genitals with beef tallow!
2) There ONCE was a MAN from NanTUCKet
3) The JEWS and BLACKS are in CAHOUTS with THE ONE-WORLD GOVERNMENT and they INTEND to TAKE OVER NASCAR!!!!!
4a) DAMMIT! TWENTY BUCKS DOWN THE FLUSHER FOR A NEW KEYBOARD!
4b) WHEN PRESIDENT FORD SENT ME HIS NOTE ON ARPANET, IT WAS IN ALL CAPS. WHO AM I TO ARGUE WITH SUCH A GREAT MAN?
2) There ONCE was a MAN from NanTUCKet
3) The JEWS and BLACKS are in CAHOUTS with THE ONE-WORLD GOVERNMENT and they INTEND to TAKE OVER NASCAR!!!!!
4a) DAMMIT! TWENTY BUCKS DOWN THE FLUSHER FOR A NEW KEYBOARD!
4b) WHEN PRESIDENT FORD SENT ME HIS NOTE ON ARPANET, IT WAS IN ALL CAPS. WHO AM I TO ARGUE WITH SUCH A GREAT MAN?
by the evil steve July 29, 2005
A Euro (preferably a German) who gets all snooty about how much better / more artistic / more well-crafted things are back on the Continent than over here (US, Canada, hell - England can play along too!).
Uwe can't drink a Blue without going on a diatribe about how much better his precious Warsteiner is - what a deutschebag!
by the evil steve August 23, 2005
The uniquely male sensation of having one's scrotum squished into an uncomfortably small area or configuration due to unfortunate seating arrangements. The most common culprit is that poorly-placed knot in your blue jeans where all four denim panels get sewn together at Scro Central.
Causes include sitting quickly and carelessly in hot, humid weather when the twins are just a-danglin', shifting in car seats while seat-belted, any form of self-induced frontal wedgie (often from scooting forward on a cloth-upholstered seat), or a combination of the above.
In particularly blessed gents, sack bunch can result in sitting on one's own balls. Honorable and impressive as the feat sounds, the sensation makes one want to cry and puke simultaneously. Not recommended.
Causes include sitting quickly and carelessly in hot, humid weather when the twins are just a-danglin', shifting in car seats while seat-belted, any form of self-induced frontal wedgie (often from scooting forward on a cloth-upholstered seat), or a combination of the above.
In particularly blessed gents, sack bunch can result in sitting on one's own balls. Honorable and impressive as the feat sounds, the sensation makes one want to cry and puke simultaneously. Not recommended.
Lady Passenger: Why are you grabbing at yourself? Shouldn't you be concentrating on driving?
Male Driver: Gaah! I got sack bunch! If you just planted your ass on your own man-marbles, you'd be skittish too!
Male Driver: Gaah! I got sack bunch! If you just planted your ass on your own man-marbles, you'd be skittish too!
by the evil steve August 3, 2005
Verb: To fail a class due to incompete coursework - often listed as I/F on grade reports. Common plight of the second semester college freshman finally hitting his/her party schwerve.
Dude! I totally forgot I registered for these three classes... I totally IFfed the bastards. Shit! Oh, well - pass the bong.
by the evil steve August 22, 2005