296 definitions by telephony

Much the same as "living shit", "the bejesus", or "the devil"; for example, when you're beating the living shit out of something.
Andrew went on the rampage at work this morning when the copier spit toner all over him -- he literally beat the living tweedle out of the poor, defenseless, helpless copy machine!

Topher was so fond of his new R/C piloting skills; he flew the living tweedle out of his Cessna 182 R/C airplane at the park over the weekend.
by Telephony July 27, 2012
A jackhammer that's been fired up nearby so early that it rousts you out of bed.
Those construction workers started using a gosh-darn-diddly-arn jackasshammer next door that got my ass out of bed at 6:30 this morning -- and it's a Saturday for Christ sakes!!!
by Telephony March 12, 2012
The hot (burning) end of a cigarette, "J", or bowl (pipe).
(Jim): Harry, you just nocked the cherry off your smoke and it's burning a hole in my rug!!!
(Harry): O FUCK!!! Sorry dude!!! {stomps the smouldering rug out with his shoe and relights his smoke}.
by Telephony October 12, 2011
When you have to uranate every five or ten minutes because you've been drinking too much coffee.
(Rick): {dialing telephone}: beep beep boop beep boop boop beep

{ring...ring...ring...}

(Rick's boss): Hello, this is National Plastics Conglomerate, how may I help you?

(Rick): Hey boss, can't come in today. Got coffee penus and I'd never make the 40-minute commute without pissing all over myself.

(Rick's boss): YOU'RE FIRED!!! ***CLICK!!!***
by Telephony June 01, 2011
Means the same as piss like a racehorse; e.g., when you have to pee really badly.
Sheesh!!! Todd had to uranate like a competitive equine this morning!!! Must have been all the brewskies he had last night!!!
by Telephony January 19, 2011
A different way of calling somebody an a$$hole.
Jonathan is such a buttsnoipe for slashing the tires on your bicycle!!!
by Telephony November 17, 2010
\ toy'lah'FLEK'shun \ (v.)
The unnatural twisting and bending motions made by people as they wipe while still seated on a toliet. Toilaflexion can occasionally result in pulls or strains if performed while standing.
Dave: Hey Chris! What's with the body cast?
Chris: Awww I got toilaflexion while wiping my ass last week.
by Telephony November 13, 2010

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