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stu in the zoo's definitions

Fagnastic

a one-night chain of events that has you...

1) realizing you might be gay.
2) "receiving" some anal sex while thinking it might be great.
3) realizing that it sucks
4) realizing you are, indeed, not gay but have some gay dude's dick in your ass.
yo, what's with the limp and the long face?

i crossed over last night. it went from fagtastic to fagnastic in like .83 seconds.

ouch.

yup....
by stu in the zoo February 15, 2008
mugGet the Fagnasticmug.

srt-4

slang. recently became the official replacement for "polish a turd" in the ever popular phrase "you can't polish a turd".

while you still can't srt-4 a turd, many think that by paying the hourly goons at ye olde dodge factory to glue a turbo-charger to a silly dodge neon engine it will in fact create a glossy finish on a piece of feces. the car is intended for bedwetters and dog dick rubbers who can't afford a real car like a honda s2000, bmw m-series or acura tl type-s or aren't smart enough to properly affix a turbo-charger to a car that isn't already named "neon". the srt-4 phenomenon is basically the same as the 1980's dodge goons putting a faux-leather, glue on top(attempting to look like a convertible) to a dodge aries k-car and calling it a chrysler lebaron. again, this car was very popular with the recently gay but familiar with broke crowd.
"wowie zowie leroy, that white girl you are courting is one seriously ugly girl."

"don't sweat is mister anderson, my sistah works at glamour shots and this saturday we gonna srt-4 her up."

"gee leroy, that's swell. </vomits>"
by stu in the zoo January 21, 2007
mugGet the srt-4mug.

jon kitna

verb. to give away. named after jon kitna, the former seattle, cinci and now lions quarterback who has made an art form of giving footballs and games away.
"i saw that pile of old clothes in your garage, what's up with 'em"

"aw, i'm gonna jon kitna 'em to goodwill"

"loser"
by stu in the zoo December 26, 2008
mugGet the jon kitnamug.

calvin johnson

god. of god. as in, calvin johnson is god.
<kicks friend in nuts>

"aw fuck, what was that for, god damn it?"

"oh shit, don't you dare bring calvin johnson into this"
by stu in the zoo December 26, 2008
mugGet the calvin johnsonmug.

nard-hound

one who likes to be around balls. at first you might think the person just admires your personality and wit but eventually you will find out he has something for your testicles. he is a nard-hound.
guy - "holy shit mike, in order to get in that midget stripper's pants i started letting her little brother, keith, hang around. i'm putting an end to that as i found him staring at my crotch."

homeboy - "yo, keith is a nard-hound"
by stu in the zoo April 25, 2007
mugGet the nard-houndmug.

Epiphone

a korean imitation guitar.

a prop that you'll see guys like Slash hold in an advertisement but never within 800 feet of him on stage.

a suitable instrument for guys taking a break from the clarinet.
"oh my shit, i thought you told me good charlotte was good..?..?"

"shut up dude, they are like the best band since like, smashing pumpkins or ah-ha"

"the fuck they are, the guitar tone sounds like a korean whore shitting out a miniature chainsaw.... not to mention, they're all playing goofy things that have les paul or sg bodies but silly little head-stocks that are meant to look like flattened out gay penises."

"those are epiphones and they rock way super hard"
by stu in the zoo February 11, 2008
mugGet the Epiphonemug.

ram hole

small opening between a female's legs. sometimes can be hard to find/gain access to. to make sure you're at the right place, multiple drinks can be of assistance. also, recent receipt of moronically materialistic items like jewelry, automobiles, or designer clothing will open the ram hole wide open.

not to be confused with the butt hole. if you find yourself here, you may be the one recently having consumed multiple drinks. you also may be the one who recently received jewelry, cars or clothing. this may be compounded by the fact that you might not be with a woman at all. if this is the case, stop all activity and go to bed.
hey dudes, i was out partying last night and got this stupid bitch super loaded. next thing i know i was at her ram hole.

that was no ram hole.

huh?

that wasn't a chick.

fuck. i'm going back to bed.
by stu in the zoo April 25, 2007
mugGet the ram holemug.

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