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stu in the zoo's definitions

Epiphone

a korean imitation guitar.

a prop that you'll see guys like Slash hold in an advertisement but never within 800 feet of him on stage.

a suitable instrument for guys taking a break from the clarinet.
"oh my shit, i thought you told me good charlotte was good..?..?"

"shut up dude, they are like the best band since like, smashing pumpkins or ah-ha"

"the fuck they are, the guitar tone sounds like a korean whore shitting out a miniature chainsaw.... not to mention, they're all playing goofy things that have les paul or sg bodies but silly little head-stocks that are meant to look like flattened out gay penises."

"those are epiphones and they rock way super hard"
by stu in the zoo February 11, 2008
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DAP

Acronym: Dogged A Prostitute

to acquire the services of a prostitute, introduce her to mind-altering chemicals then letting your canine buddy have a crack at her.
"damn man, there's that strung out sterno whore i dap'd last night. my black lab otis and a couple sniffs of ether and she'll never be the same."
by stu in the zoo January 21, 2007
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nard-hound

one who likes to be around balls. at first you might think the person just admires your personality and wit but eventually you will find out he has something for your testicles. he is a nard-hound.
guy - "holy shit mike, in order to get in that midget stripper's pants i started letting her little brother, keith, hang around. i'm putting an end to that as i found him staring at my crotch."

homeboy - "yo, keith is a nard-hound"
by stu in the zoo April 25, 2007
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Fagnutz

a person who is comfortable in the worst situations... like on a guys chin or bouncing off big mo's taint.
"hey, you guys should come over to my dorm tonight and listen to the new bravery disc and drink coors light."

"shut the fuck up, fagnutz"
by stu in the zoo February 11, 2008
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Fagnastic

a one-night chain of events that has you...

1) realizing you might be gay.
2) "receiving" some anal sex while thinking it might be great.
3) realizing that it sucks
4) realizing you are, indeed, not gay but have some gay dude's dick in your ass.
yo, what's with the limp and the long face?

i crossed over last night. it went from fagtastic to fagnastic in like .83 seconds.

ouch.

yup....
by stu in the zoo February 15, 2008
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butt dart champion

the act of being very, very gay whilst being very, very good at it.
yo, what's up with captain sequin shoes?

dunno, maybe he's a bit touched.

or maybe he's a little butt dart champion.
by stu in the zoo May 5, 2006
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ram hole

small opening between a female's legs. sometimes can be hard to find/gain access to. to make sure you're at the right place, multiple drinks can be of assistance. also, recent receipt of moronically materialistic items like jewelry, automobiles, or designer clothing will open the ram hole wide open.

not to be confused with the butt hole. if you find yourself here, you may be the one recently having consumed multiple drinks. you also may be the one who recently received jewelry, cars or clothing. this may be compounded by the fact that you might not be with a woman at all. if this is the case, stop all activity and go to bed.
hey dudes, i was out partying last night and got this stupid bitch super loaded. next thing i know i was at her ram hole.

that was no ram hole.

huh?

that wasn't a chick.

fuck. i'm going back to bed.
by stu in the zoo April 25, 2007
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