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sir bartholomew mctavish's definitions

imdbber

An 'imdbber' is somebody who subscribes to IMDB or is constantly online everynight about 10ish looking up new episodes of Doctor Who, looking for the new Star Trek film's sequel, hurriedly awaiting news on the reboot of Superman or else trying to get any on-the-spot-information about the next Narnia flick. Or else scanning through the fit-one-that-plays-Susan's twitter entries.
Er, me.

Matthew Waterhouse, desperatley waiting for a stalker to find him so he can be Adric again in a hostage situation.

Leonard Nimoy is an imdbber. Online at home about 10ish, looking up to see if anybody in Iceland doisn't know he was Spock. (And no saddos not Kerry Katona Iceland. The place Bjork is from. Gimboids.)
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 7, 2009
mugGet the imdbbermug.

boredinary

Simple straightforward definition.Ordinary is boring. Break the mould, go for the burn, stand out from the crowd, ignore the sheep. Don't become uniform, don't be boredinary.
Man#1: You listen to that new audiobook?
Man#2: Audio what? What the shit?
Man#1: It's a book on CD
Man#2: What the fuck is a book?
Man#1: Pages,bound together,left-to-right reading. You can learn things.
Man#2: You are so boring.Books?You gay?
Man#1: No, you are boredinary, you slave to the system. Stand out man, make yourself unique. Burn your pants! Wank off a chicken or something!
Man#2: Go fuck a horse.
Man#1: Already did, it was your Mother.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish October 16, 2008
mugGet the boredinarymug.

cuntstard

1. A person who is a bastard and a cunt. Or a mixture of both.

2. Misspelt custard.
ELSIE: Any of you guys reckon that new guy at works a cuntstard?
MILLIE: Yeah, who is he?
ELSIE: My husband, oh and you're fired bitch.


FRANK: Hey did you try Lisa's cuntstard?
DEREK: That's my wife, you fuck! (Hits him.)
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish October 19, 2008
mugGet the cuntstardmug.

dreast

A breast that's dressed.

ie: A boob still in its Bouncy Rigid Alembic (B.R.A.)
A 'dreast' can be spotted in the first thirty seconds of any adult man-milk producing video production.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 20, 2009
mugGet the dreastmug.

crosstitute

A ho that hasn't recieved her dough
Look at that famous TV hooker Oprah always going on about how poor people are cool when she has billions of bucks tucked away herself. I bet if she didn't get paid she be a mean crosstitute.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish June 21, 2008
mugGet the crosstitutemug.

Christmarse

That time of year when you just can't be arsed to do anything or can't be arsed to bother with Christmas. It's about the same time all the shops cash in off December 25th by starting their X-Mas sales in Mid July and which don't end until the end of February.
Enid: Cyril, are you going to put up the decorations? It's only four days until the birthday of our Lord?

Cyril: I can't be Christmarsed.

Enid: Oh go on, I'll let you fondle my new hip?

Cyril: Fuck off you slag.I should've married your sister. At least she swallowed.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish December 21, 2008
mugGet the Christmarsemug.

Funting

1. Misspelt other word for swaddling material wrapped firmly around an infant,baby or politician to ensure warmth & love.

2. Blankets that have to bolted firmly around a woman while having intercourse in the dark, 'incase God sees her naked' is the usual excuse, but she quite okay with being starkers on her own in her backgarden/playground/webcast.
(Possibly a woman who is a barren lesbian, farmhand.)
MAN: Darling I know we've only known eachother fifteen years and are having a healthy, normal,if awfully infrequent, sexual relationship with one another but would it be ok if we could, perhaps, have sexual relations on top of the funting tonight as I've never so much as seen one of your nipples! The closest is that drawing, that I drew, ten years ago.

WOMAN: (Uninteligable gibberish to the effect of 'No,sex is all you ever think about, you lazy,unshaven,quite wellhung, perverted,disgusting, patriarchal, misogynistic bastard. Give me more female orgasms while I laugh at your penis & talk to my friends about how it only gets wet once a week.' etcetera usual guff,excuses & insults.)
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish January 1, 2008
mugGet the Funtingmug.

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