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sir bartholomew mctavish's definitions

boredinary

Simple straightforward definition.Ordinary is boring. Break the mould, go for the burn, stand out from the crowd, ignore the sheep. Don't become uniform, don't be boredinary.
Man#1: You listen to that new audiobook?
Man#2: Audio what? What the shit?
Man#1: It's a book on CD
Man#2: What the fuck is a book?
Man#1: Pages,bound together,left-to-right reading. You can learn things.
Man#2: You are so boring.Books?You gay?
Man#1: No, you are boredinary, you slave to the system. Stand out man, make yourself unique. Burn your pants! Wank off a chicken or something!
Man#2: Go fuck a horse.
Man#1: Already did, it was your Mother.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish October 16, 2008
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crosstitute

A ho that hasn't recieved her dough
Look at that famous TV hooker Oprah always going on about how poor people are cool when she has billions of bucks tucked away herself. I bet if she didn't get paid she be a mean crosstitute.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish June 21, 2008
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dreast

A breast that's dressed.

ie: A boob still in its Bouncy Rigid Alembic (B.R.A.)
A 'dreast' can be spotted in the first thirty seconds of any adult man-milk producing video production.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 20, 2009
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cuntstard

1. A person who is a bastard and a cunt. Or a mixture of both.

2. Misspelt custard.
ELSIE: Any of you guys reckon that new guy at works a cuntstard?
MILLIE: Yeah, who is he?
ELSIE: My husband, oh and you're fired bitch.


FRANK: Hey did you try Lisa's cuntstard?
DEREK: That's my wife, you fuck! (Hits him.)
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish October 19, 2008
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captain jirk

Any person, male or female, in a film, book, game, stageplay etc that is acting in a pretentious, less than eroic manner, who ruins completely an otherwise good story.
Examples of a captain jirk are...

David from Shaun of the Dead
The Dolmen from Star Trek TOS Episode 'Elaan of Troyus'
Cypher from The Matrix
The Dursley's from Harry Potter series of books and films
Caligula from real life history and the film 'The Robe'
Brad from Superman 3
Belloq from Raiders of the Lost Ark

Etc.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 23, 2009
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Christmarse

That time of year when you just can't be arsed to do anything or can't be arsed to bother with Christmas. It's about the same time all the shops cash in off December 25th by starting their X-Mas sales in Mid July and which don't end until the end of February.
Enid: Cyril, are you going to put up the decorations? It's only four days until the birthday of our Lord?

Cyril: I can't be Christmarsed.

Enid: Oh go on, I'll let you fondle my new hip?

Cyril: Fuck off you slag.I should've married your sister. At least she swallowed.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish December 21, 2008
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gayllifrey

Planet of origin of the Gay Lords. They are the Lods of all things Gay and apparently inhabit the entire revived TV series of Doctor Who.
Saturdays BBC1, 6:45pm. You'll see a lot of Gayllifrey.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish April 23, 2008
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