scorpionmintred's definitions

Asskerchief

A pornographic sub-genre similar to cake farts wherein a person blows their nose into the open anus of another person. While the method of sexual gratification is unclear, it provides great humor to those involved.

"The asskerchief is an inefficient way to clear one's nasal passages."

- or -

Man: "I asked my wife if I could asskerchief her, like I saw on the internet."

Friend: "What did she say?"

Man: "She laughed at me and filed for divorce."

Friend: "That seems excessive."

Man: "Well I'm also a terrible husband."

- or -

Man: "I searched for asskerchief and then promptly decided to go back to normal porn."

Friend: "Normal?"

Man: "Well... MORE normal."

by scorpionmintred March 13, 2019

Grinding the Corn

When you put corn in a woman's vagina and grind it as with a mortar and pestle, except in this case it is her pussy and your cock.

You must be wary that corn doesn't get wedged around the head of your penis as it does in your teeth after you eat it.

By going down on your woman afterwards, it gives a whole new meaning to "creamed corn".

Little did anyone at the thanksgiving table know, but the creamed corn was made by grinding the corn in my girlfriend's twat just earlier.

by scorpionmintred August 15, 2004

archimedes screw

A pump consisting of a screw within a cylinder. When the screw is turned, water is moved from one end to the other.

-- or --

When Archimedes has sex with his wife.

-- or --

When you yell 'eureka' upon ejaculating.

-- or --

An ancient invention that can be used in the vagina to evacuate excess menses.

In an incredibly archane reference to an ancient invention, a sexual double entendre is achieved.

by scorpionmintred November 19, 2004

Cubist Period

When Picasso painted all these random people made of cubes.

-also-

When a woman's period comes out like chunks of ham from a soup.

Picasso's Friend: "Damn Picasso, why can't you paint people like normal? I hope they invent high-quality photographs soon."

-or-

Picasso: "Damn Wife, your cubic menstruations have inspired me to paint incorrect pictures of people."

-or-

German Man: "Damn Wife, I thought your sheizer was tasty, but this soup is the best!"

-or-

Woman: "Damn I thought that soup was good, but whatever is coming out of my twat is downright fabulous."

by scorpionmintred March 23, 2004

Urgent Pirate

When a man cannot wait to place his erect penis in a woman's bum, and so hastens around sticking his penis in any asses he can find. Possibly he would even pirate a man's ass in his haste. Very bad news to be standing in front of such a pirate in line for, say, groceries.

That Urgent Pirate just stabbed your nasty-ass mom in the butt!

by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003

ass crayon

When a woman is passed out, either from her own actions or by way of your rufies, the act of fucking her in the ass wildly and then drawing doodles on her sheets using your feces-stained penis.

These actions may be repeated until said drawing is complete.

That passed out bitch didn't appreciate that I ass crayoned her bed.
- or -
I have a wicked yeast infection in my foreskin from using my ass crayon too much.

by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003

HIV Lane

The anus of a man infected with HIV.

He rode the HIV Lane on the Hershey Highway all night long and then died five years later.

by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003