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23 definitions by scorpionmintred

 
8.
When a man cannot wait to place his erect penis in a woman's bum, and so hastens around sticking his penis in any asses he can find. Possibly he would even pirate a man's ass in his haste. Very bad news to be standing in front of such a pirate in line for, say, groceries.
That Urgent Pirate just stabbed your nasty-ass mom in the butt!
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
 
9.
When a woman is passed out, either from her own actions or by way of your rufies, the act of fucking her in the ass wildly and then drawing doodles on her sheets using your feces-stained penis.

These actions may be repeated until said drawing is complete.
That passed out bitch didn't appreciate that I ass crayoned her bed.
- or -
I have a wicked yeast infection in my foreskin from using my ass crayon too much.
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
 
10.
After going down on a woman with unfortunate menses, the area around your mouth will be red, like a clown's.
Woman: "I am now afraid of clowns because after going down on me you had a clown moustache."
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
 
11.
The anus of a man infected with HIV.
He rode the HIV Lane on the Hershey Highway all night long and then died five years later.
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
 
12.
1. When a man is a fiend for having sex whilst the woman is on the rag, but cannot find himself a menstruating woman, he secretly squirts ketchup into the woman's vaginal canal before sex.

2. When a man's girlfriend is not on the pill, and he wants to cum inside her when she isn't actually on the rag. He secretly squirts ketchup inside her vaginal canal whilst she sleeps so she wakes up thinking she has her period.
Woman: "My entire reproductive tract is ruined from poor man's menses".

- or -

Woman: "I don't know how I keep getting pregnant while I'm on the rag!"
Man: "Maybe it's all the poor man's menses I've been squirting inside you?"

- or -

Abortionist: "What the hell is that??"
Woman: "Poor man's menses and a week-old fetus?"

- or -

OBGYN: "What the hell is that?"
Woman: "I don't know, but it goes great with french fries!"

- or -

OBGYN: "Damn, this goes well with french fries!"
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
 
13.
1. A tax-exempt corporation with the facade of a "bona-fide" religion created by L. Ron Hubbard as a way to make money when his "better-than-psychology" clinics failed to do so in the 1950s.

2. The act of engaging in sexual intercourse with a piece of scientific equipment, such as a microscope.

3. A sexual act whereby a man reads a science textbook to a woman who then becomes bored. When she inevitably falls asleep, the man hits her over the head with the textbook, yelling "science!" He then takes off her top and studies her breasts whilst masturbating. Upon completion, he jisms into the open textbook, smears his essence all over the open pages, and sticks the textbook to the woman's face. He may then, at his option, invite people over to "study" with her, thereby causing her severe embarrassment when she comes to.
1. Scientology Auditor: "Hey, you, man walking down the street that appears to have better things to do! Yes, you! Would you like to be audited such that we can eventually remove your Thetans after charging you thousands of dollars for brainwashing?"

Man: "No."

2. Woman: "Oh yeah baby, adjust that coarse focus knob!"

3. Girl's Roommate: "Damn, were you up all night studying again?"

Girl: (Just coming to) "Ugh, what time is it?"

Girl's Roommate: "What, I can't hear you with that textbook on your face. And why does my microscope smell?"

Girl: (Rips the book off, but the inner pages stick to her face) "I have no idea, but I must have been sitting down too long because my ass hurts".
by scorpionmintred February 17, 2010
 
14.
The act of ejaculating on a woman's face -- via either wild masturbation or a priceless blow job -- and then using your cock to rub jism around the woman's eye as if applying eyeliner.

The woman is then ready for a fanstastic night on the town! All that remains is for you to put on her dirty sanchez disguise!
Somehow, she looked less like a whore, and more like your mom, when I applied some white eyeliner.
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003