by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
Get the Count Von Penniesmug. 1. (n.) The ape whom once conquered hot-air-ballooning, as only man had previously done.
2. (v.) The act of, upon ejaculating into a woman of ill-repute, jamming as many bananas as possible into her vagina. The man then whips out a spoon, takes a scoop, and offers the woman a serving of the mashed bananas. She then declines, and runs from the room screaming. The man then consumes the spoonful, takes his briefcase, and leaves.
2. (v.) The act of, upon ejaculating into a woman of ill-repute, jamming as many bananas as possible into her vagina. The man then whips out a spoon, takes a scoop, and offers the woman a serving of the mashed bananas. She then declines, and runs from the room screaming. The man then consumes the spoonful, takes his briefcase, and leaves.
"God Bless that Ape Wellington for showing us all that extremely boring balloon flight is possible!"
- or -
Friend: "Do you smell bananas?"
Woman: "No."
- or -
Woman: "Have you found the problem?"
OBGYN: "No, but this here is delicious."
- or -
Tickles Brick Tickles: "Honey! Come back! I thought you would enjoy it!"
Woman: "Why?"
Tickles Brick Tickles: "At least your twat doesn't smell like fish."
- or -
Ape: "Wunhh wunhh wooo wooo!"
Woman (to self): "O, why did I ever have sex with an ape? He has no idea what goes where!"
- or -
Friend: "Do you smell bananas?"
Woman: "No."
- or -
Woman: "Have you found the problem?"
OBGYN: "No, but this here is delicious."
- or -
Tickles Brick Tickles: "Honey! Come back! I thought you would enjoy it!"
Woman: "Why?"
Tickles Brick Tickles: "At least your twat doesn't smell like fish."
- or -
Ape: "Wunhh wunhh wooo wooo!"
Woman (to self): "O, why did I ever have sex with an ape? He has no idea what goes where!"
by scorpionmintred February 27, 2009
Get the Ape Wellingtonmug. by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
Get the HIV Lanemug. After going down on a woman with unfortunate menses, the area around your mouth will be red, like a clown's.
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
Get the clown moustachemug. 1. (n.) A man who presumably flew planes in a fine manner in World War One.
2. (n.) A crap pizza that many school children eat because their parents are too poor.
3. (v.) The act of donning a monocle before sexual congress with a woman who is having her menses. Traditionally, a small yet stylish moustache should be worn as well. The man inflates his chest and walks to the bed with the bearing of a proper gentleman. He then dips at least two fingers into the waiting woman's blood-filled snatch, finger-painting the German cross onto his chest.
The true connoisseur of this maneuver will keep the monocle in his eye until reaching sexual release.
2. (n.) A crap pizza that many school children eat because their parents are too poor.
3. (v.) The act of donning a monocle before sexual congress with a woman who is having her menses. Traditionally, a small yet stylish moustache should be worn as well. The man inflates his chest and walks to the bed with the bearing of a proper gentleman. He then dips at least two fingers into the waiting woman's blood-filled snatch, finger-painting the German cross onto his chest.
The true connoisseur of this maneuver will keep the monocle in his eye until reaching sexual release.
"The Red Baron shot down a bunch of planes once. It is very 'urban' of me to define this term in a serious fashion. I will now ride the subway and watch the History Channel."
- or -
"This Red Baron pizza is flavorful. Unfortunately the flavor is crap."
- or -
"I was about to give this woman the Red Baron last night, however when she saw my monocle she got dressed and fled in a hasty manner. So I put on my robe and wizard's hat."
- or -
"She died when I came and she inhaled my falling monocle."
- or -
"I attempted the Red Baron last night, but she wasn't on the rag. I ended up using some poor man's menses to finish."
- or -
"This Red Baron pizza is flavorful. Unfortunately the flavor is crap."
- or -
"I was about to give this woman the Red Baron last night, however when she saw my monocle she got dressed and fled in a hasty manner. So I put on my robe and wizard's hat."
- or -
"She died when I came and she inhaled my falling monocle."
- or -
"I attempted the Red Baron last night, but she wasn't on the rag. I ended up using some poor man's menses to finish."
by scorpionmintred February 14, 2007
Get the Red Baronmug. When Picasso painted all these random people made of cubes.
-also-
When a woman's period comes out like chunks of ham from a soup.
-also-
When a woman's period comes out like chunks of ham from a soup.
Picasso's Friend: "Damn Picasso, why can't you paint people like normal? I hope they invent high-quality photographs soon."
-or-
Picasso: "Damn Wife, your cubic menstruations have inspired me to paint incorrect pictures of people."
-or-
German Man: "Damn Wife, I thought your sheizer was tasty, but this soup is the best!"
-or-
Woman: "Damn I thought that soup was good, but whatever is coming out of my twat is downright fabulous."
-or-
Picasso: "Damn Wife, your cubic menstruations have inspired me to paint incorrect pictures of people."
-or-
German Man: "Damn Wife, I thought your sheizer was tasty, but this soup is the best!"
-or-
Woman: "Damn I thought that soup was good, but whatever is coming out of my twat is downright fabulous."
by scorpionmintred March 23, 2004
Get the Cubist Periodmug. 1. A tax-exempt corporation with the facade of a "bona-fide" religion created by L. Ron Hubbard as a way to make money when his "better-than-psychology" clinics failed to do so in the 1950s.
2. The act of engaging in sexual intercourse with a piece of scientific equipment, such as a microscope.
3. A sexual act whereby a man reads a science textbook to a woman who then becomes bored. When she inevitably falls asleep, the man hits her over the head with the textbook, yelling "science!" He then takes off her top and studies her breasts whilst masturbating. Upon completion, he jisms into the open textbook, smears his essence all over the open pages, and sticks the textbook to the woman's face. He may then, at his option, invite people over to "study" with her, thereby causing her severe embarrassment when she comes to.
2. The act of engaging in sexual intercourse with a piece of scientific equipment, such as a microscope.
3. A sexual act whereby a man reads a science textbook to a woman who then becomes bored. When she inevitably falls asleep, the man hits her over the head with the textbook, yelling "science!" He then takes off her top and studies her breasts whilst masturbating. Upon completion, he jisms into the open textbook, smears his essence all over the open pages, and sticks the textbook to the woman's face. He may then, at his option, invite people over to "study" with her, thereby causing her severe embarrassment when she comes to.
1. Scientology Auditor: "Hey, you, man walking down the street that appears to have better things to do! Yes, you! Would you like to be audited such that we can eventually remove your Thetans after charging you thousands of dollars for brainwashing?"
Man: "No."
2. Woman: "Oh yeah baby, adjust that coarse focus knob!"
3. Girl's Roommate: "Damn, were you up all night studying again?"
Girl: (Just coming to) "Ugh, what time is it?"
Girl's Roommate: "What, I can't hear you with that textbook on your face. And why does my microscope smell?"
Girl: (Rips the book off, but the inner pages stick to her face) "I have no idea, but I must have been sitting down too long because my ass hurts".
Man: "No."
2. Woman: "Oh yeah baby, adjust that coarse focus knob!"
3. Girl's Roommate: "Damn, were you up all night studying again?"
Girl: (Just coming to) "Ugh, what time is it?"
Girl's Roommate: "What, I can't hear you with that textbook on your face. And why does my microscope smell?"
Girl: (Rips the book off, but the inner pages stick to her face) "I have no idea, but I must have been sitting down too long because my ass hurts".
by scorpionmintred February 17, 2010
Get the scientologymug.