scorpionmintred's definitions

mad cow

1. Angry cow. (Possibly see your mom).

2. BSE; Rots the brains of cows and jerks who eat cow brains. (Possibly see Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Or was that monkey brains? Whatever, it's feking weird anyway).

3. Giant lesbian who thinks she's hot. When you yank on her quadruple D breasts, she does not notice it because they're dragging on the floor already. But for some reason, skinny hot lesbians find her attractive, but she is mad because men still exist, and her vagina cannot be found by said skinny hot lesbian. If you are a man, she will not appreciate you existing.

Your mom might be mad cow type one, but she can't be mad cow type two unless your dad had sex with a straight woman who carried you to term. Unless you are a girl, then your mom may be touching you when you're asleep, on the boobies, perhaps.

by scorpionmintred December 30, 2003

archimedes screw

A pump consisting of a screw within a cylinder. When the screw is turned, water is moved from one end to the other.

-- or --

When Archimedes has sex with his wife.

-- or --

When you yell 'eureka' upon ejaculating.

-- or --

An ancient invention that can be used in the vagina to evacuate excess menses.

In an incredibly archane reference to an ancient invention, a sexual double entendre is achieved.

by scorpionmintred November 19, 2004

HIV Lane

The anus of a man infected with HIV.

He rode the HIV Lane on the Hershey Highway all night long and then died five years later.

by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003

clown moustache

After going down on a woman with unfortunate menses, the area around your mouth will be red, like a clown's.

Woman: "I am now afraid of clowns because after going down on me you had a clown moustache."

by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003

Danger Clit

A superhero born in North Pussyville, descended from the clan of Wettingwetwet.

Superpowers include: Hiding, Becoming Erect (similar to Penis Power), Pussy Gushing.

Nemises include: Confused Virgin, Angry Lesbian, and Africa.

Superfriends include: Loose Labia, Generous G-Spot, Vindictive Vulva, Vivacious Vibrator.

Favorite movies: Can't watch movies at cause of being stuffed in underpants all day.

Least favorite smell: Itself, when not washed for long periods of time.

Lease favorite crust: Dried menses.

Who's the pink private clit that makes the pussies allllll wet? Clit! Thaaat's wrong.

Danger clit.

by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003

scientology

1. A tax-exempt corporation with the facade of a "bona-fide" religion created by L. Ron Hubbard as a way to make money when his "better-than-psychology" clinics failed to do so in the 1950s.

2. The act of engaging in sexual intercourse with a piece of scientific equipment, such as a microscope.

3. A sexual act whereby a man reads a science textbook to a woman who then becomes bored. When she inevitably falls asleep, the man hits her over the head with the textbook, yelling "science!" He then takes off her top and studies her breasts whilst masturbating. Upon completion, he jisms into the open textbook, smears his essence all over the open pages, and sticks the textbook to the woman's face. He may then, at his option, invite people over to "study" with her, thereby causing her severe embarrassment when she comes to.

1. Scientology Auditor: "Hey, you, man walking down the street that appears to have better things to do! Yes, you! Would you like to be audited such that we can eventually remove your Thetans after charging you thousands of dollars for brainwashing?"

Man: "No."

2. Woman: "Oh yeah baby, adjust that coarse focus knob!"

3. Girl's Roommate: "Damn, were you up all night studying again?"

Girl: (Just coming to) "Ugh, what time is it?"

Girl's Roommate: "What, I can't hear you with that textbook on your face. And why does my microscope smell?"

Girl: (Rips the book off, but the inner pages stick to her face) "I have no idea, but I must have been sitting down too long because my ass hurts".

by scorpionmintred February 17, 2010

Cubist Period

When Picasso painted all these random people made of cubes.

-also-

When a woman's period comes out like chunks of ham from a soup.

Picasso's Friend: "Damn Picasso, why can't you paint people like normal? I hope they invent high-quality photographs soon."

-or-

Picasso: "Damn Wife, your cubic menstruations have inspired me to paint incorrect pictures of people."

-or-

German Man: "Damn Wife, I thought your sheizer was tasty, but this soup is the best!"

-or-

Woman: "Damn I thought that soup was good, but whatever is coming out of my twat is downright fabulous."

by scorpionmintred March 23, 2004