scorpionmintred's definitions
A pornographic sub-genre similar to cake farts wherein a person blows their nose into the open anus of another person. While the method of sexual gratification is unclear, it provides great humor to those involved.
"The asskerchief is an inefficient way to clear one's nasal passages."
- or -
Man: "I asked my wife if I could asskerchief her, like I saw on the internet."
Friend: "What did she say?"
Man: "She laughed at me and filed for divorce."
Friend: "That seems excessive."
Man: "Well I'm also a terrible husband."
- or -
Man: "I searched for asskerchief and then promptly decided to go back to normal porn."
Friend: "Normal?"
Man: "Well... MORE normal."
- or -
Man: "I asked my wife if I could asskerchief her, like I saw on the internet."
Friend: "What did she say?"
Man: "She laughed at me and filed for divorce."
Friend: "That seems excessive."
Man: "Well I'm also a terrible husband."
- or -
Man: "I searched for asskerchief and then promptly decided to go back to normal porn."
Friend: "Normal?"
Man: "Well... MORE normal."
by scorpionmintred March 13, 2019
Get the Asskerchiefmug. When you put corn in a woman's vagina and grind it as with a mortar and pestle, except in this case it is her pussy and your cock.
You must be wary that corn doesn't get wedged around the head of your penis as it does in your teeth after you eat it.
By going down on your woman afterwards, it gives a whole new meaning to "creamed corn".
You must be wary that corn doesn't get wedged around the head of your penis as it does in your teeth after you eat it.
By going down on your woman afterwards, it gives a whole new meaning to "creamed corn".
Little did anyone at the thanksgiving table know, but the creamed corn was made by grinding the corn in my girlfriend's twat just earlier.
by scorpionmintred August 15, 2004
Get the Grinding the Cornmug. When a woman is passed out, either from her own actions or by way of your rufies, the act of fucking her in the ass wildly and then drawing doodles on her sheets using your feces-stained penis.
These actions may be repeated until said drawing is complete.
These actions may be repeated until said drawing is complete.
That passed out bitch didn't appreciate that I ass crayoned her bed.
- or -
I have a wicked yeast infection in my foreskin from using my ass crayon too much.
- or -
I have a wicked yeast infection in my foreskin from using my ass crayon too much.
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
Get the ass crayonmug. The act of putting a thumb over the mouth of a bottle of champagne and then agitating it order to bring it to the highest possible pressure. The bottle is then thrust into the anus of an unsuspecting girl (or, preferrably, a sleeping whore), thereby shooting champagne into her rectal cavity violently.
Generally, the finer the whore, the finer the champagne that should be used. In the case of a 4 dollar "ho", malt liquor may be used.
Generally, the finer the whore, the finer the champagne that should be used. In the case of a 4 dollar "ho", malt liquor may be used.
"The recoil from that rude awakening was quite a mess."
- or -
The malt liquor must have fermented in her ass after the rude awakening, because I went to work drunk after that 9 AM rim job.
- or -
"The prostitute wanted to charge me extra after I gave her a rude awakening, but I told her to f' off and left. She couldn't get up without malt liquor leaking out her ass, so she made an un-hasty chase."
- or -
"I rushed my rude awakening and hit the wrong hole. Wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't on the menses at the time. Let's just say there was cotton and chunks of blood everywhere.
- or -
The malt liquor must have fermented in her ass after the rude awakening, because I went to work drunk after that 9 AM rim job.
- or -
"The prostitute wanted to charge me extra after I gave her a rude awakening, but I told her to f' off and left. She couldn't get up without malt liquor leaking out her ass, so she made an un-hasty chase."
- or -
"I rushed my rude awakening and hit the wrong hole. Wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't on the menses at the time. Let's just say there was cotton and chunks of blood everywhere.
by scorpionmintred October 1, 2005
Get the rude awakeningmug. 1. That glasscock was ribbed for added pleasure.
- or -
1. That trophy being kissed by that woman may look like a glasscock, but it is not.
2. My grandmother had numerous glasscocks on display in her curio cabinet when I was a child.
3. Damn, Glasscock Road is a long road. We should find out more about it at www.mintred.com/article/122/ .
- or -
1. That trophy being kissed by that woman may look like a glasscock, but it is not.
2. My grandmother had numerous glasscocks on display in her curio cabinet when I was a child.
3. Damn, Glasscock Road is a long road. We should find out more about it at www.mintred.com/article/122/ .
by scorpionmintred May 16, 2007
Get the glasscockmug. A pump consisting of a screw within a cylinder. When the screw is turned, water is moved from one end to the other.
-- or --
When Archimedes has sex with his wife.
-- or --
When you yell 'eureka' upon ejaculating.
-- or --
An ancient invention that can be used in the vagina to evacuate excess menses.
-- or --
When Archimedes has sex with his wife.
-- or --
When you yell 'eureka' upon ejaculating.
-- or --
An ancient invention that can be used in the vagina to evacuate excess menses.
by scorpionmintred November 19, 2004
Get the archimedes screwmug. by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
Get the Count Von Penniesmug.