white eyeliner

The act of ejaculating on a woman's face -- via either wild masturbation or a priceless blow job -- and then using your cock to rub jism around the woman's eye as if applying eyeliner.

The woman is then ready for a fanstastic night on the town! All that remains is for you to put on her dirty sanchez disguise!
Somehow, she looked less like a whore, and more like your mom, when I applied some white eyeliner.
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
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collapsed soufflé

1. (n.) The sides of a fat woman that are compressed by pants so badly that skin and fat pours over the sides of the pants, looking like a collapsed soufflé.

Note: This is a more severe condition than a muffin top in that even moderately heavy girls can get a bit "muffiny", but only genuinely obese women can have a collapsed soufflé.

2. (n.) The skin of a woman's stomach after pregnancy, when it looks deflated and wrinkly, like a collapsed soufflé.

This condition may also affect other parts of the body after liposuction.
Kat: Hey Jenny, I guess you turned the oven off too early.

Jenny: What ever do you mean by that?

Kat: You totally have a collapsed soufflé.

- or -

Kat: Aw, Brenda, your baby is so cute.

Brenda: Whatever, that little ass gave me the worst case of collapsed soufflé!

Kat: Yeah he did. I think it's dragging on the floor. ::throws up::

- or -

Doctor: Who the hell was eating dessert in my OR?!

Nurse: Um, doctor, that's the patient.

Doctor: By god she's fat.

- or -

French Chef: Bon! My finest soufflé is finally ready for le "prime time"!

Oaf Busboy: ::knocks into table::

Soufflé: ::collapses::

French Chef: You oaf! Get ze hell out of my kitchen!

Oaf Busboy: Fuck you, chef! That thing looks like your mother's hips!
by scorpionmintred March 18, 2010
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Urgent Pirate

When a man cannot wait to place his erect penis in a woman's bum, and so hastens around sticking his penis in any asses he can find. Possibly he would even pirate a man's ass in his haste. Very bad news to be standing in front of such a pirate in line for, say, groceries.
That Urgent Pirate just stabbed your nasty-ass mom in the butt!
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
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Grinding the Corn

When you put corn in a woman's vagina and grind it as with a mortar and pestle, except in this case it is her pussy and your cock.

You must be wary that corn doesn't get wedged around the head of your penis as it does in your teeth after you eat it.

By going down on your woman afterwards, it gives a whole new meaning to "creamed corn".
Little did anyone at the thanksgiving table know, but the creamed corn was made by grinding the corn in my girlfriend's twat just earlier.
by scorpionmintred August 16, 2004
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monkey poop

1. The feces a monkey exudes.
2. The feces your mom exudes.
3. The act of throwing feces at your nemesis, or simply someone who disagrees with you.
Boss: "You should work overtime this weekend."
Worker: {Poops in underwear.}
Boss: "What is that smell?"
Worker: {Throws poop at boss.} "You."

- or -

Man: "Give me head now, woman!"
Woman: "No, I am on the rag, and I am a giant bitch. I may as well be a lesbian."
Man: {Poops his bed.}
Woman: "Why did you just poop the bed?"
Man: {Throws feces at woman.} "Give me head."

- or -

Supermarket Clerk: "Why are you buying so many tampons?"
Bag Boy: "Seriously, are you on the rag or what?"
Menstruating Woman: {Lifts skirt and sprays diarrhea while rotating.} "Yes."

- or -

Lesbian 1: "Why is my fist covered in poop?"
Lesbian 2: "Wrong hole."
by scorpionmintred December 31, 2003
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glasscock

1. A phalis made of glass.
2. A rooster made of glass.
3. A road in Mission, TX.
1. That glasscock was ribbed for added pleasure.

- or -

1. That trophy being kissed by that woman may look like a glasscock, but it is not.

2. My grandmother had numerous glasscocks on display in her curio cabinet when I was a child.

3. Damn, Glasscock Road is a long road. We should find out more about it at www.mintred.com/article/122/ .
by scorpionmintred May 03, 2007
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ass crayon

When a woman is passed out, either from her own actions or by way of your rufies, the act of fucking her in the ass wildly and then drawing doodles on her sheets using your feces-stained penis.

These actions may be repeated until said drawing is complete.
That passed out bitch didn't appreciate that I ass crayoned her bed.
- or -
I have a wicked yeast infection in my foreskin from using my ass crayon too much.
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
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