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23 definitions by scorpionmintred

 
15.
When Picasso painted all these random people made of cubes.

-also-

When a woman's period comes out like chunks of ham from a soup.
Picasso's Friend: "Damn Picasso, why can't you paint people like normal? I hope they invent high-quality photographs soon."

-or-

Picasso: "Damn Wife, your cubic menstruations have inspired me to paint incorrect pictures of people."

-or-

German Man: "Damn Wife, I thought your sheizer was tasty, but this soup is the best!"

-or-

Woman: "Damn I thought that soup was good, but whatever is coming out of my twat is downright fabulous."
by scorpionmintred March 23, 2004
20 30
 
16.
For some reason, women have invented a rediculous notion! They think that scraping their feet with a sand-paper like paddle to remove dead skin is a good idea.

In actuality, unless you have a giant foot fetish, it is the most disgusting noise you have ever heard, and it leaves a giant pile of dead skin scrapings all over your stuff.

Someone with a foot fetish may enjoy snorting this residue as if it were cocaine.
Amanda, get that foot snow the hell away from me!
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
11 26
 
17.
General term for all of the parts of a woman related to the storage and dispersal of eggs, including the ovaries, uterus, and vagina.
Woman: "Ow! That bitch just kicked me right in the Easter Basket!"

- or -

Art Critic: "Damn, Picasso, I've never before seen a square Easter Basket".

- or -

OBGYN: "I haven't seen an Easter Basket this messed up since my mom got the egg dye mixed up with the pancake batter".

- or -

ER Doctor: (Removing fragments of chicken-egg shells from inside a woman's vagina) "You really aren't clear on the concept, are you?"
by scorpionmintred February 17, 2010
11 30
 
18.
A superhero born in North Pussyville, descended from the clan of Wettingwetwet.

Superpowers include: Hiding, Becoming Erect (similar to Penis Power), Pussy Gushing.

Nemises include: Confused Virgin, Angry Lesbian, and Africa.

Superfriends include: Loose Labia, Generous G-Spot, Vindictive Vulva, Vivacious Vibrator.

Favorite movies: Can't watch movies at cause of being stuffed in underpants all day.

Least favorite smell: Itself, when not washed for long periods of time.

Lease favorite crust: Dried menses.
Who's the pink private clit that makes the pussies allllll wet? Clit! Thaaat's wrong.

Danger clit.
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
22 41
 
19.
1. (n.) The sides of a fat woman that are compressed by pants so badly that skin and fat pours over the sides of the pants, looking like a collapsed soufflé.

Note: This is a more severe condition than a muffin top in that even moderately heavy girls can get a bit "muffiny", but only genuinely obese women can have a collapsed soufflé.

2. (n.) The skin of a woman's stomach after pregnancy, when it looks deflated and wrinkly, like a collapsed soufflé.

This condition may also affect other parts of the body after liposuction.
Kat: Hey Jenny, I guess you turned the oven off too early.

Jenny: What ever do you mean by that?

Kat: You totally have a collapsed soufflé.

- or -

Kat: Aw, Brenda, your baby is so cute.

Brenda: Whatever, that little ass gave me the worst case of collapsed soufflé!

Kat: Yeah he did. I think it's dragging on the floor. ::throws up::

- or -

Doctor: Who the hell was eating dessert in my OR?!

Nurse: Um, doctor, that's the patient.

Doctor: By god she's fat.

- or -

French Chef: Bon! My finest soufflé is finally ready for le "prime time"!

Oaf Busboy: ::knocks into table::

Soufflé: ::collapses::

French Chef: You oaf! Get ze hell out of my kitchen!

Oaf Busboy: Fuck you, chef! That thing looks like your mother's hips!
by scorpionmintred March 18, 2010
10 36
 
20.
1. (n.) A man who presumably flew planes in a fine manner in World War One.

2. (n.) A crap pizza that many school children eat because their parents are too poor.

3. (v.) The act of donning a monocle before sexual congress with a woman who is having her menses. Traditionally, a small yet stylish moustache should be worn as well. The man inflates his chest and walks to the bed with the bearing of a proper gentleman. He then dips at least two fingers into the waiting woman's blood-filled snatch, finger-painting the German cross onto his chest.

The true connoisseur of this maneuver will keep the monocle in his eye until reaching sexual release.
"The Red Baron shot down a bunch of planes once. It is very 'urban' of me to define this term in a serious fashion. I will now ride the subway and watch the History Channel."

- or -

"This Red Baron pizza is flavorful. Unfortunately the flavor is crap."

- or -

"I was about to give this woman the Red Baron last night, however when she saw my monocle she got dressed and fled in a hasty manner. So I put on my robe and wizard's hat."

- or -

"She died when I came and she inhaled my falling monocle."

- or -

"I attempted the Red Baron last night, but she wasn't on the rag. I ended up using some poor man's menses to finish."
by scorpionmintred February 12, 2007
14 50
 
21.
1. A phalis made of glass.
2. A rooster made of glass.
3. A road in Mission, TX.
1. That glasscock was ribbed for added pleasure.

- or -

1. That trophy being kissed by that woman may look like a glasscock, but it is not.

2. My grandmother had numerous glasscocks on display in her curio cabinet when I was a child.

3. Damn, Glasscock Road is a long road. We should find out more about it at www.mintred.com/article/122/ .
by scorpionmintred May 03, 2007
36 84