4 definitions by sbjkd
A young guy, shy, loner, usually a teenager, often a geek, who does not have a girlfriend and spends far too much time alone, often at home in his bedroom, when other people his age are out having a good time. The implication being that he is wanking or fucking, i.e. "Pumping" his mattress because he can't root a real Sheila. The meaning of the term and it's use might have nothing in common.
An underage drinker (under 18) is in a bar and bumps, into a grown man who shouts at him, "Piss off, you little mattress pumper".
by sbjkd January 19, 2009
by sbjkd October 6, 2020
Bloody hell Ernest, I thought I'd never get to sleep last night. The wife kept doing these vile blanket rippers. I was scared that she'd either rip the blankets apart and we'd freeze to death, or the stinking fart miasma would gas us both.
by sbjkd January 25, 2009
I’m touching cloth! I really need to lay some Bum Spuds.
Someone forgot to flush the toilet and it is full of Bum Spuds.
Someone forgot to flush the toilet and it is full of Bum Spuds.
by sbjkd October 6, 2020