15 definitions by positivezero
So the guy just picked up this clearly male squirrel, broke its neck, set it on fire, and started buttfucking it, cuz he's into homopyronecrobeastiality.
by positivezero November 1, 2005
Sexual attraction to extraterrestrials.
You think your girlfriend's a freak? Mine's into xenophilia - I have to wear green antennae every time I wanna have sex.
by positivezero December 2, 2005
"I get gas whereever I need to; I'm not gonna bend over backwards to save, like, a dollar, cuz I'm no fuel economist"
by positivezero April 1, 2008
The observed phenomenon that the shit cycles of men who coexist together (such as in prisons, convents, bordellos, dormitories, etc.) will tend to become synchronized over time.
Guy 1: I gotta take a shit.
Guy 2: Whatever, dude - you know the boss is gonna follow you right in, right?
Guy 1: Yeah, fecal synchrony is a bitch.
Guy 2: Whatever, dude - you know the boss is gonna follow you right in, right?
Guy 1: Yeah, fecal synchrony is a bitch.
by positivezero March 6, 2007
When two people interlock faces such that each of their mouths is close to the other's ear. This is generally the only way to have a conversation in a crowded club or bar.
"I got the digits of this girl that was probably pretty hot. I'm not sure though, I didn't get a good look at her since we had to ear-69 to talk."
by positivezero June 19, 2008
The most dreaded words in the English language. May be used by:
1) bosses to survey how productive an employee is being on a task. Chances are, said employee hasn't been working so much as he has been writing UrbanDictionary definitions.
2) girls (and gay men) who want to survey the status of a relationship. Chances are, the guy (or somewhat dignified girl) has to sugarcoat the fact that he or she is using said girl or gay guy for his or her body, and nothing more.
1) bosses to survey how productive an employee is being on a task. Chances are, said employee hasn't been working so much as he has been writing UrbanDictionary definitions.
2) girls (and gay men) who want to survey the status of a relationship. Chances are, the guy (or somewhat dignified girl) has to sugarcoat the fact that he or she is using said girl or gay guy for his or her body, and nothing more.
Boss: Sooo where do we stand? Did you implement that absurdly disinteresting software feature?
Employee: *closes multiple browser tabs* Uh... *takes out gun and shoots self in temple*
Employee: *closes multiple browser tabs* Uh... *takes out gun and shoots self in temple*
by positivezero March 16, 2007
Almost having sex, but having the universe dick you over in some way. Like, so close that, could you freeze-frame the moment and displace a single electron one nanometer, sex would've occurred.
Guy1: She was totally into it, but wanted to wait until the next day to do it for the first time. Then she got back together with her boyfriend the next morning.
Guy2: Shoulda sealed the deal that night.
Guy1: Yeah, I got quantum-fucked.
Guy2: Shoulda sealed the deal that night.
Guy1: Yeah, I got quantum-fucked.
by positivezero January 13, 2009