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Definitions by optical_epilepsy

conjumplaining

The act of jumping to conclusions so your right to complain is justified.

This tactic is typically involves deflective arguing and ignoring what the other person has to say.

People who use this tactic will also typically have very low respect for the person they are talking to, as well as having no sense of honor
Man: I wish women would stop being so selfish

Women: If your gay that's ok, nobody likes ugly, pathetic, desperate faggots anyway

Man: I'm so tired of women always conjumplaining

Women: If your gonna hit me, do it right now so I can beat you up, or file assault charges if you win the fight

Man: (censored for graphic violence)
The people we hate when we are breaking the law, but the people we love when the wrong people go crazy.
I hate cops when I get pulled over, but love cops when im at the mall and some crazy guy is killing people with an AK-47
cops by Optical_Epilepsy May 13, 2011

classicist 

Somebody who is against people with bad morals, low income, and little/no education. A CLASSICIST DOESN'T CARE ABOUT RACE OR GENDER, EVEN IF IT'S HIS/HER OWN ONE. Somebody who biases due to race is a racist and gender is a sexist don't get them confused.

If you agree with these statements your a classicist, and not a racist or sexist.

I love black people, but I hate niggers

I love white people, but I hate rednecks

I love hispanic people, but I hate illegal immigrants
I love Asian people, but I hate Yakuzas
Most people are a classicist but are often assumed to be a racist
classicist by Optical_Epilepsy April 20, 2011

foreign language 

Used to replace a noun, when you could not be any less clueless about this noun. You have no idea whatsoever how it works, behaves, functions, where it lives, and this list can go on infinitely.
Male High School Dropout: Dang ur hot

Female College Graduate With Long Hair, A Beautiful Face Small Waist, Huge Titties, And A Phat PHAT Booty: "Especially my boobs" (exposes breasts which have basic algebra signs tatooed on them)

Male High School Dropout: "D4ts uhh 4n 14gw1dge" (foreign language)

Female College Graduate With Long Hair, A Beautiful Face Small Waist, Huge Titties, And A Phat PHAT Booty: "Your not smart enough to deserve any of this, go back to school moron."

foreign language 

Used to replace a noun, when you could not be any less clueless about this noun. You have no idea whatsoever how it works, behaves, functions, where it lives, and this list can go on infinitely.
Poor Cause He Dropped Out Male: Dang ur hot

Rich Female College Graduate With Long Hair, A Beautiful Face, Small Waist, Huge Titties And A Phat PHAT Booty: "Especially my boobs" (exposes breasts which have basic algebra signs tatooed on them)

Poor Cause He Dropped Out Male: "D4ts uhh 4n 14gw1dge" (foreign language)

Rich Female College Graduate With Long Hair, A Beautiful Face, Small Waist, Huge Titties And A Phat PHAT Booty: "Your not smart enough to deserve any of this, go back to school moron."

pseudo-phylogynist 

A man who is good at pretending to respect women, when in reality he thinks she is pointless unless she will have sex. These guys make it difficult for men who foolishly think respecting women is the way to her heart.

Unfortunately, this is the type of person women are attracted to the most

Not to be confused with jerk or misogynist as these men don't pretend to respect women, and tend to glamorize the concept of disrespecting women.

This is the leading cause of gold diggers, materialism and misandry
Any musician who brags about how much money he has or will spend on a girl is likely a pseudo-phylogynist because it's not necessary to do so if all you want is a relationship

The song Whatever U Like by T.I. is a great example

Illiterated definition 

A definition of something that has been presented in a way so people who have trouble reading proper grammar, correct spelling, and proper punctuation can understand it.
(Normal definition of rain)

Rain: water falling in drops from vapor condensed in the atmosphere

(Illiterated definition of rain)

rain itz wen da water iz flln 4rm da c1ouds n 3vree buddy g3ts w3t