24 definitions by optical_epilepsy

Somebody who is always willing to text you back. These are people you text when your doing something you don't really wanna do but have to do it (school, work, etc) and it would be very nice if somebody would keep texting you back instead of having to wait minutes-hours at a time
reliable texters are the best
by Optical_Epilepsy June 22, 2010
A question that cannot be answered without lying, or changing the subject to avoid an undesired effect.

This is commonly done in an argument or disagreement when they think doing so will make a point. It will only make a point to gullible morons.
Normal Person: The kicker is important in a football game.

Douchebag: Is he as important as the quarterback? (doomsday question)

Normal Person: (shakes head and sighs) What do you think...

Douchebag: I asked you not me

Normal Person: (depressed) No...

Douchebag: Exactly so you were wrong. The quarterback is much more important.

Normal Person: Did I say the kicker was more important than the quarterback?

Douchebag: So the kicker is more important? (doomsday question #2)
by Optical_Epilepsy June 28, 2011
To lose an argument, or sound stupid when trying to say something because you spoke first, or the person you are arguing against is unreasonably stupid, a bigot or a dissentomatic
Sarah: Lowering taxes will save taxpayers money

Douchebag: No it won't because lowering taxes will raise the national debt, dumbass.

Sarah: What does national debt have to do with how much money taxpayers are saved?

Douchebag: So it won't raise the national debt? You sound stupid, fucking retard hahaha. Sarah is so fucking stupid she seriously thinks that lowering taxes won't raise the national debt.

Sarah: (pulls out pistol)

Narrator: Before First 48 filmed the subsequent murder, Sarah was proclamaimed by the Douchebag
by Optical_Epilepsy June 12, 2011
Somebody who takes an exaggeration, a figure of speech, or a hyperbole literally as a pathetic attempt to make you sound stupid

It's ironic though how when ever somebody tries to be one, after they rebuttal, all you can hear are crickets chirping
Normal Person: It's raining cats and dogs outside!

Hyperbodick: Animals can't fall from the sky you fucking moron! This faggot bitch cunt seriously thinks cats and dogs can fall from the sky, what a retard!

Normal Person: (pulls out pistol)
by Optical_Epilepsy June 12, 2011
A male who is cute, sexy, fine or otherwise considered attractive, but not a guy you would snatch up like a kidnapper.

This could be because you aren't sure he's the one you want yet, or because you do not chase men.
Kayla: Damn he's hot

Carla: Go getcha man girl

Kayla: Well I don't chase men cuz they chase me lol

Carla: Aw so he just a woman's candidate

Kayla: Yea exactly
by Optical_Epilepsy May 09, 2011
Attempting to make somebody look bad by assuming what they meant is negative or wrong
Jacob: I wish people would stop abusing welfare

Jesse: So your saying all people who use welfare automatically will abuse it?

Jacob: Obviously not Jesse... Stop assumptacking me...

Jesse: So then exactly what are you saying?

Jacob: (sighs) Fine I'll repeat myself: I wish people would stop abusing welfare

Jesse: Oh so just because there poor and need welfare means they want to make other people suffer right?

Narrator: Jesse thinks he is making a point by being very assumptive and jumping to conclusions. He's really just being a douchebag and trying to make Jacob feel bad for his opinion. He better hope Jacob thinks carefully and doesn't reach for the knife...
by Optical_Epilepsy April 24, 2011
The act of jumping to conclusions so your right to complain is justified.

This tactic is typically involves deflective arguing and ignoring what the other person has to say.

People who use this tactic will also typically have very low respect for the person they are talking to, as well as having no sense of honor
Man: I wish women would stop being so selfish

Women: If your gay that's ok, nobody likes ugly, pathetic, desperate faggots anyway

Man: I'm so tired of women always conjumplaining

Women: If your gonna hit me, do it right now so I can beat you up, or file assault charges if you win the fight

Man: (censored for graphic violence)
by Optical_Epilepsy April 23, 2011
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