He is the man who helps anyone in distress. His areas of "good Samaritan" expertise are rescuing kitty cats from fire escapes, fetching items off top shelves in grocery stores, digging young women's cars out of snow banks AND letting the bad drivers of the world know when they make an error on his road...(not on his watch, Sister!!!)
His uniform of choice are his throw-back, green&yellow track pants and a t-shirt depicting the Joker. (black puffy vest is optional)
When Captain Samaritan isn't out making the world a better place, he can be found in the gym rockin' and shockin' it, on his sofa watching hockey/home reno shows with a libation, OR cramming his face with all you can eat fishy! one day the world will erect a statue of this superb specimen of a man... in the meantime, he will continue to do good deeds and take it one day at a time!
Elderly woman- "help anyone!! that young hoodlum has stolen my purse!"
Capt. Samaritan- "I will help you little old lady!"
Young Student- "Geez, I wish Captain Samaritan was here to help me with my homework"
"Don't worry Billy, Captain Samaritan will conjugate those verbs for you!"
an exclamation that hip 40-something's use....
NOT to be confused with a Fish Lettuce and Tomato sandwich.
"I am trying to get to the golf course but this 6 car pile-up has jammed up the highway! FLT! why does this always happen to me??!!!"
"FLT! woman stop your yammering, I'm trying to watch Two and-a-Half Men!!"
When you awaken yourself from a deep sleep by farting.
especially embarrassing in the company of a sleeping companion.
you look over to see if your partner has been fartootled by your flatulence as well.
I was resting soundly beside a hunky man and suddenly I fartootled myself awake! how embarrassing!!
when the decor inside some ones home or business resembles the interior or exterior of a barn.
most common in rural communities
"hey Renee, what do you think of the new paint job at that neighbourhood sports pub?"
"meh, It's alright the colour is kinda Barn-esque though..."
This is when a not-so svelte woman is wearing yoga pants or exercise clothes. When the cottage cheese dents are highly visible on her thighs and glutes. The spandex fabric is stretched to it’s maximum capacity and the seams look like they are about to blow.
"Hey dude, check out that ladies rump!"
"She’s definitely wearing Ew Lu Lemon!"
you prepare yourself a meal early in the day and refrigerate for later consumption and your roommate/spouse/someone other then you, microwaves it all, eats half of it and puts it back in the fridge rendering it un-edible because it cannot be re-heated twice for fear of food poisoning.
much like goldilocks and the 3 bears (taking wee bites of porridge and not finishing all of it)
oh man! my roomie totally goldilocked my butter chicken and cous-cous!!