180 definitions by gnostic1

n. Stout piece of wood used for striking co-workers who won't shut up about latest episode of "The Office" or other TV show.
If you say another word about what a cute couple Jim and Pam make I swear I am going to get an office staff and beat your lips until they stop moving!

The new TV season starts in October so I usually plan an office staff party for November.
by gnostic1 October 07, 2010

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place. Withered town relying on rock-hound tourism to keep afloat. The kindness of strangers pays the wages at the Food and Fuel Emporium as well as Hiram's Hostelry and the trickle-down effect stops the leakage of young adults to the sleaze of the bigger towns in the Greater Gravelbend Region.

Rock collectors and iron pyrite enthusiasts congregate at the sluiceworks where steam-driven donkey-pumps have been keeping the tailings dry since 1846 when the gold ran out.

A new high fence is being hastily constructed upstream from town.

Cheese making and quilt pressing are now the main cottage-industries along with whittlin' likenesses of Grover Cleveland, who was born just up the river.

A gravel-slide that destroyed the saltine factory is surmounted by a cairn constructed of imported pebbles brought to the site by pilgrims after a local trapper had a dream in which he was commanded to build an edifice of stones to commemorate the disaster.

Aleuts have recently built a new seasonal encampment upstream from town.

..............................
Let's take some pebbles up to Sluiceville to build up the cairn a bit. We could get the quilt pressed too if the line isn't too long.
by gnostic1 October 18, 2011

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n. Person who is willing to walk when it is needed but isn't possessed of a bizarre desire to walk industriously for fitness or weight control.
..............................
Want to do a couple of "Ks" before breakfast?

Ahhh. No thanks. I'll just catch a couple more"Zs". I'm more of a social walker.
by gnostic1 October 12, 2011

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n. Hands that drop condoms,surgical instruments, trays of food, Nobel Prize medals etc.

..............................
That new scrub nurse is pretty sweet.

Yeah, but I hear she has awkward paws.
by gnostic1 October 08, 2011

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n. "sporting" activity in which marginally inebriated Canadians curl large lumps of granite down a frozen carpet of ice in order to obtain a "hammer" which, I believe, is the metric equivalent of a "fifth" of rye. Oddly enough a "fifth", in curling, is a player too incompetent to play well. Brooms are used to clear debris off the ice and roller blades can be worn for decreased traction but aren't compulsory.

Originally the game was played on Scotland's lakes by English soldiers with frozen lumps of haggis.
.............................
Dude! I feel like a bonspiel tonight! Let's totally whip some stones into the hack and try to knock out some inturns with a double raise!

Listen to yourself. You've only been curling for a month and already you sound like a Canadian stoner.

Hurry hard!
by gnostic1 September 12, 2011

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place. Welsh mining village nestled in the Snowdonian range in Glamorgan. Twice voted the least pronouceable place on the planet.

Quilt making, poetry composition and pneumoconiosis are the backbones of the economy.
Here now Yestin. What say we amble down the mountain to look for lassies in Llandwbllllwydd?
by gnostic1 August 13, 2011

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n. Taking all the fridge or cupboard space for one's own cans, or other food containers, thereby leaving one's roommate to pile her food on the veranda.

......................................................................................
What the heck! What sort of canopoly do you have going on here! Most of the stuff you got in this here fridge don't even need to be kept cold.

Sucks to be you. I don't like to pick up warm cans. It bothers my nerve endings. I got the sensitive nerve endings.
by gnostic1 October 02, 2012

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

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