108 definitions by frank klaune

The unwritten, unmentioned male code of conduct strictly governing behaviour in a public restroom.

Urinal protocol dicktates (pardon the pun) that every male must make due effort to accommodate a buffer urinal if possible. In situations when a buffer urinal is not possible, the pissor must engage in mindless, inane, random conversation with his fellow piss-ees- a phenomenon known as urinal talk. The highest rule of urinal protocol governs eye contact. Eyes must remain straight ahead in a zombie-like stare, and finish with only a brief glance downward (at your putz) during the final shake. While a brief glance at the face of a fellow piss-ee is an acceptable part of urinal talk, a 30 second jaw-agape stare at his dong is un-cool. Similarly, while placing a hand on the wall above the urinal to steady one's self is acceptable (especially when drunk), placing one's hand on another's sholder is not too cool. Urinal talk must never lead to the pissor urinating on the shoes of the piss-ee.

Urinal protocol evolved as a means to deal with urinal anxiety (also referred to as being pee shy) and it's corresponding eccentric behaviour. Restroom owners may erect (pardon the pun) a shame shield as a method of dealing with urinal anxiety and encourage compliance with the time-tested "urinal protocol".
Damn, Frank is such an idiot. He was standing at the trough staring at the black guy's dick.
by Frank Klaune February 20, 2005

The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug
A small-town, provincial putz of a policeman. The name represents "Barney Fife", the bumbling, inept deputy sherfiff from the "Andy Griffith Show." The typical small-town Barney is a doughnut-chomping fat bastard whose only purpose is to write as many speeding tickets and seat belt "safety" violations to out-of-town licence plated cars as humanly possible. This daily pattern continues until the barney has padded his resume sufficiently to move on to a real job far from the provincial putzville which was his first job for a couple of years. The outrageous pattern of excessive ticket-writing also works in the favor of the inbred, corrupt, fuck-headed town officials who reap an obscene profit from the fine largesse. This, in turn, self justifies the continuance of the salary for the Barney. This pattern is particularly effective in towns which are so ridiculously quiet and small that an actual "law enforcement officer" has no substantive reason to be on the public payroll. The next time you are pulled over in some backward Hooterville for driving 4 MPH over the posted limit, remember where your fine money is going.
Damn, Frank was only going 27 in the 25 zone but the Barney pulled him over anyway!
by Frank Klaune April 25, 2005

The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug
n. The forceful, violent, sudden expulsion of a considerable amount of fecal matter. "Power shit" generally (but not exclusively) relates to diahhroea. Upon taking a power shit, spray paint is often the outcome.
Damn, Frank had a huge gut cramp so he snuck into his neighbor's yard, went into their RV and took a major power shit. I think he was afraid to make the mess at home. It took his neighbor an hour or more to clean up the spray paint.
by Frank Klaune April 16, 2005

The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug
1) When standing in public with an intentionally huge bulge in your pants so that your girl (or any girl) can plainly see your state of excitement, and such girl(s) ignore you.

2) When dirty dancing with your girlfriend and you rub your big ol doinker against her leg (or any other body part) and she is turned off (not attracted to) your ovations.
Man, I really had blueballs the other day after Jen gave me erection rejection.
by Frank Klaune October 20, 2004

The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug
Yet another term designating a very high level of inebriation / drunkenness.
Damn, Frank came home all pissed up last night and passed out in his front yard. What an idiot.
by Frank Klaune May 02, 2005

The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug
Term pertaining to the deleterious effect of the sweat from your nut sack upon surrounding tissue and material. Nut rot causes your underwear to prematurely fail in the crotch area immediately beside where your sack rides. Nut rot becomes visible as a tan or brown stain in the area where your crotch is on the inside of the underwear. Next, the seam and the stretchy elastic gives way and eventually the entire crotch area of the underwear gives out and your nuts hang out from beneath your underwear in the area where the underwear material used to be. Nut rot also affects the skin of the crotch in cases where a person uses poor hygiene and / or lack of bathing or showering. See crotch rot.
Damn, when Frank was on the campout, his nards hung out of his skivvies. He must have major nut rot in his tighty whities.
by Frank Klaune April 22, 2005

The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug
One of many euphemisms for "masturbation" (e.g. slappin' the salami, jack off, beat off, buffing the bishop, glean the obscene bean, choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, waxing the wonker, greasing the guppy, shooting putty at the moon, and Rosie Palmer and her Five Sisters doing the Four Knuckle Shuffle.
Frank will be a little bit late. He's still back at his house jackin' the beanstalk.
by Frank Klaune January 24, 2005

The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug