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10 definitions by feldpar

 
1.
when a male victim of homosexual rape reaches back between his legs and grabs the testicles of the raper and squeezes them as hard as he can. this technique is often a last ditch effort to halt the rape in progress.
this technique is called the "guatemalan" grinder grab due to the fact that first recorded occurrence of this technique was in Guatemala.

man 1: "why you walkin all funny ralph?"

ralph: "that dirty mexican i was raping last night gave me a guatemalan grinder grab... i think he popped my right ball!"

man 1: "harsh dude! that's why i always chloroform them first!"
by feldpar February 16, 2009
 
2.
n. that weird thing on a rooster's head.
man 1: "what the hell do you call that weird thing on a rooster's head?"

man 2: "that's a kakaroon, buddy."

man 1: "oh, thanks."
by feldpar February 18, 2009
 
3.
Laugh Out Loud Quietly To Myself.

some comedian came up with "LQTM", Laughs Quietly To Myself, as a new IM/TXTing abbreviation. i myself, never really LOL, occasionally i LQTM, mostly i LOLQTM, which is a slight giggle.
when talking about someone else, the abbreviation LOLQTH, Laugh Out Loud, Quietly To Himself/Herself, would then be appropriate.
IM person 1: "omg, gtg, brb, my cat is on fire."

IM person 2: "LOLQTM."
by feldpar February 16, 2009
 
4.
American Gopher Deterrent Technique.

this is a technique that is often used by a man who's property has become infested with gophers.

what you do, is set a gopher trap and capture one of those pesky critters. you then perform a "gopher call" to bring all the other gophers above ground so they can watch. once you are sure they are looking, you drop your pants and anally rape the captured gopher while screaming "you like that?! you like that, gophers?! get the fuck off my property or this is gonna happen to you!"

this technique usually results in 100% of your properties gopher population relocating.

man 1: "fucking gophers keep eating all the shit in my garden!"

man 2: "AGDT 'em man, AGDT 'em."
by feldpar February 17, 2009
 
5.
v. Stuffing the Turkey is a gang-bang involving at least four men. It also involves a 20 lb. Butterball turkey. The men take turns humping the living hell out of the turkey, and when all men present have "finished", the turkey is oven roasted in the usual fashion and served on Thanksgiving. Preferably to relatives that you are not fond of.
Although this originated in Eastern Russia, it is often contributed to Norway.

man 1: "me and the Boston Celtics got caught Stuffing the Turkey last night!"

man 2: "wait, what?"

man 1: "i know right? i was gonna serve it to my grandparents."

man 2: "what the fuck is wrong with you?!"

man 1: "i fucking hate my grandparents."
by feldpar February 21, 2009
 
6.
This sexual technique is a bastardization of the traditional Somalian Lobster Slap.

During intercourse, one partner grabs a lobster that had been previously concealed somewhere close by and slaps the other person/persons across the face with it.

This technique usually does NOT result in an orgasm for anyone but the lobster.

Rubber bands on the claws are optional.

man 1: "man, i was with this fox last night and she told me she has a difficult time reaching orgasm."

man 2: "don't use the Northern Somalian Lobster Slap! it doesn't work! and if you do, make sure to use rubber bands on the claws. my wife made that mistake. once."

man 2 points to where his left ear used to be.
by feldpar February 18, 2009
 
7.
a professional wrestling technique used once an opponent is knocked down and will be a while before getting up. the person performing this technique climbs up the turnbuckle to the top rope. he then wait until his opponent finally stands up and leaps backward with his legs spread to expose his taint. the goal of this technique is to slap your taint across your opponents face with great force, both stunning and humiliating him.
man 1: "did you see ray mysterio give that guy the flying taint last night?"

man 2: "that shit was CLASSIC. i bet that guy has never felt such humiliation before."
by feldpar February 17, 2009