Skip to main content

feldpar's definitions

AGDT

American Gopher Deterrent Technique.

this is a technique that is often used by a man who's property has become infested with gophers.

what you do, is set a gopher trap and capture one of those pesky critters. you then perform a "gopher call" to bring all the other gophers above ground so they can watch. once you are sure they are looking, you drop your pants and anally rape the captured gopher while screaming "you like that?! you like that, gophers?! get the fuck off my property or this is gonna happen to you!"

this technique usually results in 100% of your properties gopher population relocating.
man 1: "fucking gophers keep eating all the shit in my garden!"

man 2: "AGDT 'em man, AGDT 'em."
by feldpar February 17, 2009
mugGet the AGDT mug.

Guatemalan Grinder Grab

when a male victim of homosexual rape reaches back between his legs and grabs the testicles of the raper and squeezes them as hard as he can. this technique is often a last ditch effort to halt the rape in progress.
this technique is called the "guatemalan" grinder grab due to the fact that first recorded occurrence of this technique was in Guatemala.
man 1: "why you walkin all funny ralph?"

ralph: "that dirty mexican i was raping last night gave me a guatemalan grinder grab... i think he popped my right ball!"

man 1: "harsh dude! that's why i always chloroform them first!"
by feldpar February 16, 2009
mugGet the Guatemalan Grinder Grab mug.

Northern Somalian Lobster Slap

This sexual technique is a bastardization of the traditional Somalian Lobster Slap.

During intercourse, one partner grabs a lobster that had been previously concealed somewhere close by and slaps the other person/persons across the face with it.

This technique usually does NOT result in an orgasm for anyone but the lobster.

Rubber bands on the claws are optional.
man 1: "man, i was with this fox last night and she told me she has a difficult time reaching orgasm."

man 2: "don't use the Northern Somalian Lobster Slap! it doesn't work! and if you do, make sure to use rubber bands on the claws. my wife made that mistake. once."

man 2 points to where his left ear used to be.
by feldpar February 18, 2009
mugGet the Northern Somalian Lobster Slap mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email