failure33object's definitions

half pincer

an intricate play used in games such as American football, hockey and checkers. involves forming an enclosure around a player to force him/her into submission. favoured by Mrs. Doubtfire, transvestite nanny, and Saint Jackolas, checkers icon.

St. Jackolas "man, check my badass half-pincer on Macaulay, Mrs. D!"
Mrs. Doubtfire "ooh very nice dear!"
Macaulay "please let me go home now."

by failure33object April 23, 2005

get bent

a phrase indicative of reluctance to perform a task or a blatant show of anger at something/someone. often used by participants in one-on-one games, ie checkers, when one player feels s/he has been cheated.

player 1 "hey, you can't use the half-pincer! that's unfair!"
player 2 "this is my checkers board!"
player 1 *smashes the board* "GET BENT!"

by failure33object April 23, 2005

uber-jacko

short for uber-Jackolas. a demonic resurrection of Saint Jackolas after he has died. uber-Jacko has uber-Jesus Juice which contains the extra ingredient of peppermint and a dash of pure oxygen. more of a danger to the youth population than measles and meningitis combined.

"capable of winning any checkers game, no matter how many opponents" - Rob McLean, uber-Jacko victim

by failure33object April 26, 2005

aerials

a superb song by System of a Down. with such awesome words like: "life is a waterfall, we're one in the river and one again after the fall" and "we drink from the river then we turn around and put up our walls" this song is an appropriate (water-based) take on life. and with a music video featuring people who seem to have been left in a wind tunnel overnight, who's to argue that this is a stone-cold classic.

"we are the ones who wanna play, always wanna win but ya never wanna lose"

by failure33object April 24, 2005

bulbasaur

Alan Titmarch's worst nightmare, a plant which walks and can shoot razor leaves. also has the ability to whip folk with seeds. spotted frequently in Swansea, where he grows to enormous size due to the colossal amount of rain. his best attributes are his massive head. eats candy and mince beef.

most likely to say: "bulba, bulba!"
least likely to say: "what the blazes is that yellow mouse squawking for?"

by failure33object April 19, 2005

henry the 8th

a man of wealth and taste. was married to more people than he could count. so he killed each one of them. killed more people than AIDS ever will. owner of a particularly cool beard, also created the song greensleeves and was a founding father of the UCHaI (union of checkers heroes and icons). would have been a big fan of kfc popcorn chicken

Henry - "oi, peasant, where's moi woif?"
Peasant - "i don't know sir..."
Henry - "HANG THIS FOOL!"
Aide - "sir he didn't commit a crime."
Henry "GET BENT!! YOU DIE TOO!!!"

by failure33object April 24, 2005

nut pie

an ancient foodstuff invented by aborigines. they would gather a variety of nuts from the forest and cook them in a light pastry. the sort of thing Ray Mears might enjoy making. in some cases the aborigines would roll the nuts up in a leaf and light it, thus creating a nut cigar.

Ray Mears: "what are you doing there?"
Aborigine 1: "gathering nuts for a nut pie."
RM to camera: "he says he's gathering nuts, for a nut pie."
Aborigine 2: "sod off, Ray."

by failure33object April 18, 2005