failure33object's definitions

peter kay

when disguised as Brian Potter, Max or Pady, this man is funny. when being Peter Kay he is simply a smug, Amarillo-miming tosspiece. constantly sweating, Kay's head and face are always shining like a little sweat beacon. although i hate the man, some of the stuff he has written is funny. see below...

"3995? call it 4 grand!"
"can y'ear me know?!"
"jerry 'the berry'... berry!"

by failure33object April 24, 2005

harry o'potter

irish version of a certain idiotic wizard. uses a pint of guinness in place of a wand and a giant potato as a broomstick. more likely to want to play Scrabble or darts than quiditch.

"oh to be sure to be sure i'll play darts! quidditch? feck off ya weird bearded focker!"

by failure33object April 23, 2005

nut pie

an ancient foodstuff invented by aborigines. they would gather a variety of nuts from the forest and cook them in a light pastry. the sort of thing Ray Mears might enjoy making. in some cases the aborigines would roll the nuts up in a leaf and light it, thus creating a nut cigar.

Ray Mears: "what are you doing there?"
Aborigine 1: "gathering nuts for a nut pie."
RM to camera: "he says he's gathering nuts, for a nut pie."
Aborigine 2: "sod off, Ray."

by failure33object April 18, 2005

bulbasaur

Alan Titmarch's worst nightmare, a plant which walks and can shoot razor leaves. also has the ability to whip folk with seeds. spotted frequently in Swansea, where he grows to enormous size due to the colossal amount of rain. his best attributes are his massive head. eats candy and mince beef.

most likely to say: "bulba, bulba!"
least likely to say: "what the blazes is that yellow mouse squawking for?"

by failure33object April 19, 2005

wizard of oz

a nutcase who rules a magical land from behind a curtain, despite being only 1.9 foot tall. often seen fighting with Toto. well known for being a roght miserable git. and also owner of a hot air balloon.

Wizard: "Toto give me back that sausage!"
Toto: *runs off with sausage*
Wizard: "you little bastard!!"

by failure33object April 18, 2005

half pincer

an intricate play used in games such as American football, hockey and checkers. involves forming an enclosure around a player to force him/her into submission. favoured by Mrs. Doubtfire, transvestite nanny, and Saint Jackolas, checkers icon.

St. Jackolas "man, check my badass half-pincer on Macaulay, Mrs. D!"
Mrs. Doubtfire "ooh very nice dear!"
Macaulay "please let me go home now."

by failure33object April 23, 2005

henry the 8th

a man of wealth and taste. was married to more people than he could count. so he killed each one of them. killed more people than AIDS ever will. owner of a particularly cool beard, also created the song greensleeves and was a founding father of the UCHaI (union of checkers heroes and icons). would have been a big fan of kfc popcorn chicken

Henry - "oi, peasant, where's moi woif?"
Peasant - "i don't know sir..."
Henry - "HANG THIS FOOL!"
Aide - "sir he didn't commit a crime."
Henry "GET BENT!! YOU DIE TOO!!!"

by failure33object April 24, 2005