failure33object's definitions

half pincer

an intricate play used in games such as American football, hockey and checkers. involves forming an enclosure around a player to force him/her into submission. favoured by Mrs. Doubtfire, transvestite nanny, and Saint Jackolas, checkers icon.

St. Jackolas "man, check my badass half-pincer on Macaulay, Mrs. D!"
Mrs. Doubtfire "ooh very nice dear!"
Macaulay "please let me go home now."

by failure33object April 23, 2005

peter kay

when disguised as Brian Potter, Max or Pady, this man is funny. when being Peter Kay he is simply a smug, Amarillo-miming tosspiece. constantly sweating, Kay's head and face are always shining like a little sweat beacon. although i hate the man, some of the stuff he has written is funny. see below...

"3995? call it 4 grand!"
"can y'ear me know?!"
"jerry 'the berry'... berry!"

by failure33object April 24, 2005

henry the 8th

a man of wealth and taste. was married to more people than he could count. so he killed each one of them. killed more people than AIDS ever will. owner of a particularly cool beard, also created the song greensleeves and was a founding father of the UCHaI (union of checkers heroes and icons). would have been a big fan of kfc popcorn chicken

Henry - "oi, peasant, where's moi woif?"
Peasant - "i don't know sir..."
Henry - "HANG THIS FOOL!"
Aide - "sir he didn't commit a crime."
Henry "GET BENT!! YOU DIE TOO!!!"

by failure33object April 24, 2005

ribena

best drink ever. red in colour, sweet in taste, glorious in all it's glory. preferred tipple of one Rob McLean and occasional pick-me-up for a certain Jim Bowen. made by little creatures that resemble living black currants.
pronounced: rie-bee-ner

Jim- "Whoa Rob, where's the Ribena?"
Rob- "Dude, where's my Ribena!?"

by failure33object April 18, 2005

bobby dazzler

phrase invented by david dickinson to describe anything worth describing. can give fame to anything once said... an antique, a checkers player, a KFC meal, a sock. no-one knows who the real man bobby dazzler is, possibly he is jesus or the triple d in cognito.

"wow that kfc popcorn chicken was a bobby dazzler, let me tell you!"
"yep, it'd make the duke proud!"

by failure33object April 23, 2005

phil margera

Father of Bam and Jess Margera, husband to April and brother of Don Vito. Often woken abruptly by Bam and his crew. Duties include Elvis impersonator, punchbag, budding rockstar. Unbelievably unphased by his son's antics Phil is the epitomy of cool.

Jeez Bam what are you doing now?
-everytime Bam and the boys screw something up

by failure33object March 26, 2005

eagle eye cherry

a one-hit wonder hip dude singer of 'save tonight', unfortunately eagle eye didn't 'save any money' and is now working in a checkers factory for petty cash. called eagle eye due to the fact he has glaucoma and its made his eyes shrink.

EEC "can i have a payrise?"
Boss Checker "what? get bent!
EEC "what if i sing a song?"
BC "bugger off"

by failure33object April 24, 2005