33 definitions by failure33object

a man of wealth and taste. was married to more people than he could count. so he killed each one of them. killed more people than AIDS ever will. owner of a particularly cool beard, also created the song greensleeves and was a founding father of the UCHaI (union of checkers heroes and icons). would have been a big fan of kfc popcorn chicken
Henry - "oi, peasant, where's moi woif?"
Peasant - "i don't know sir..."
Henry - "HANG THIS FOOL!"
Aide - "sir he didn't commit a crime."
Henry "GET BENT!! YOU DIE TOO!!!"
by failure33object April 24, 2005
the chosen gastronomic delight of checkers players the world over. although saint jackolas will claim responsibility, colonel sanders invented this delicacy in 1867, on the checkers battlefield.
"the colonal has outdone himself with this addictive and health damaging product...top draw fast food" - Rob McLean, checkers hero and popcorn chicken addict
by failure33object April 23, 2005
a huge killer dragon beast that lives in the sea, possibly Godzilla's father. according to folklore the kraken was originally someones pet gecko and that person angered the God's by peeing in the village fountain, so Zeus made his pet gecko grow to around 60 metres high and ordered it to kill him. alternate sources say it got trapped in a greenhouse. starred in the film "Clash Of The Titans".
The Kraken: "WRAAAARGH!"
Perseus: "leave me alone you big spastic lizard!"
The Kraken: "BY ORDER OF ZEUS I MUST KILL!!"
*Perseus stabs the Kraken in the eye*
The Kraken: "OOOW! YOU LITTLE SOD!"
by failure33object April 26, 2005
irish version of a certain idiotic wizard. uses a pint of guinness in place of a wand and a giant potato as a broomstick. more likely to want to play Scrabble or darts than quiditch.
"oh to be sure to be sure i'll play darts! quidditch? feck off ya weird bearded focker!"
by failure33object April 23, 2005
a one-hit wonder hip dude singer of 'save tonight', unfortunately eagle eye didn't 'save any money' and is now working in a checkers factory for petty cash. called eagle eye due to the fact he has glaucoma and its made his eyes shrink.
EEC "can i have a payrise?"
Boss Checker "what? get bent!
EEC "what if i sing a song?"
BC "bugger off"
by failure33object April 24, 2005
when disguised as Brian Potter, Max or Pady, this man is funny. when being Peter Kay he is simply a smug, Amarillo-miming tosspiece. constantly sweating, Kay's head and face are always shining like a little sweat beacon. although i hate the man, some of the stuff he has written is funny. see below...
"3995? call it 4 grand!"
"can y'ear me know?!"
"jerry 'the berry'... berry!"
by failure33object April 24, 2005
a nutcase who rules a magical land from behind a curtain, despite being only 1.9 foot tall. often seen fighting with Toto. well known for being a roght miserable git. and also owner of a hot air balloon.
Wizard: "Toto give me back that sausage!"
Toto: *runs off with sausage*
Wizard: "you little bastard!!"
by failure33object April 18, 2005
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