failure33object's definitions

scrooge mcduck

evil twin of Donald Duck and uncle to 3 other ducks named huey, duey and louie. made the stovepipe hat cool. i believe Slash, of Guns n' Roses/ Velvet Revolver, stole the idea of wearing a stovepipe hat from Scrooge McD.

Slash: "hey Axl, i'm gonna wear a stovepipe hat from now on..."
Axl Rose: "Wow man, awesome!! why?"
Slash: "cos i wanna be like Scrooge McDuck and Marc Bolan!"

by failure33object April 24, 2005

fuck right off

a term commonly used by irate checkers legends when MSN fails to open checkers or oftentimes even start. also, if i met bill "i'm a paedo" gates this is the phrase i'd shout in his face.

Jim "game of checkers my good man?"
Rob "yes why the devil not!"
MSN "sorry we are crap... try again later."
Rob and Jim in unison: "FUCK RIGHT OFF MSN!!"

by failure33object April 25, 2005

kraken

a huge killer dragon beast that lives in the sea, possibly Godzilla's father. according to folklore the kraken was originally someones pet gecko and that person angered the God's by peeing in the village fountain, so Zeus made his pet gecko grow to around 60 metres high and ordered it to kill him. alternate sources say it got trapped in a greenhouse. starred in the film "Clash Of The Titans".

The Kraken: "WRAAAARGH!"
Perseus: "leave me alone you big spastic lizard!"
The Kraken: "BY ORDER OF ZEUS I MUST KILL!!"
*Perseus stabs the Kraken in the eye*
The Kraken: "OOOW! YOU LITTLE SOD!"

by failure33object April 26, 2005

the alcove

the best place in the universe. frequented daily for two whole years by Rob McLean and Jim Davies. a place of indescribable awesomeness, The Alcove is a small step, housed by a concrete alcove, perfectly built never to be tainted by sunlight.

"the coldest stone on earth"
"the only place where phil tranters filthy hands cannot reach in the grounds of hereford sixth form" - Rob McLean

by failure33object April 22, 2005

cool spot

a plastic drinks-container lid who was the star of several video games in the early 90's. Cool Spot's main pleasure in life was hanging out at the beach and freeing his friends from cages. notable adventures include a trip to Hollywood and his trip to a drug rehab clinic. it is debatable as to whether Cool Spot is:
(a) a drink-container lid
(b) a checker
(c) a tiddly wink

"the reddest plastic drink container lid to get his own video game" Rob McLean, Cool Spot fanatic

by failure33object April 25, 2005

uber-jacko

short for uber-Jackolas. a demonic resurrection of Saint Jackolas after he has died. uber-Jacko has uber-Jesus Juice which contains the extra ingredient of peppermint and a dash of pure oxygen. more of a danger to the youth population than measles and meningitis combined.

"capable of winning any checkers game, no matter how many opponents" - Rob McLean, uber-Jacko victim

by failure33object April 26, 2005

henry the 8th

a man of wealth and taste. was married to more people than he could count. so he killed each one of them. killed more people than AIDS ever will. owner of a particularly cool beard, also created the song greensleeves and was a founding father of the UCHaI (union of checkers heroes and icons). would have been a big fan of kfc popcorn chicken

Henry - "oi, peasant, where's moi woif?"
Peasant - "i don't know sir..."
Henry - "HANG THIS FOOL!"
Aide - "sir he didn't commit a crime."
Henry "GET BENT!! YOU DIE TOO!!!"

by failure33object April 24, 2005