failure33object's definitions

kraken

a huge killer dragon beast that lives in the sea, possibly Godzilla's father. according to folklore the kraken was originally someones pet gecko and that person angered the God's by peeing in the village fountain, so Zeus made his pet gecko grow to around 60 metres high and ordered it to kill him. alternate sources say it got trapped in a greenhouse. starred in the film "Clash Of The Titans".

The Kraken: "WRAAAARGH!"
Perseus: "leave me alone you big spastic lizard!"
The Kraken: "BY ORDER OF ZEUS I MUST KILL!!"
*Perseus stabs the Kraken in the eye*
The Kraken: "OOOW! YOU LITTLE SOD!"

by failure33object April 26, 2005

cool spot

a plastic drinks-container lid who was the star of several video games in the early 90's. Cool Spot's main pleasure in life was hanging out at the beach and freeing his friends from cages. notable adventures include a trip to Hollywood and his trip to a drug rehab clinic. it is debatable as to whether Cool Spot is:
(a) a drink-container lid
(b) a checker
(c) a tiddly wink

"the reddest plastic drink container lid to get his own video game" Rob McLean, Cool Spot fanatic

by failure33object April 25, 2005

the alcove

the best place in the universe. frequented daily for two whole years by Rob McLean and Jim Davies. a place of indescribable awesomeness, The Alcove is a small step, housed by a concrete alcove, perfectly built never to be tainted by sunlight.

"the coldest stone on earth"
"the only place where phil tranters filthy hands cannot reach in the grounds of hereford sixth form" - Rob McLean

by failure33object April 22, 2005

that old chesnut

a phrase which generally refers to a cliche or an over-used excuse. to be used in disgust. often a pre-cursor to serious arguments in games such as checkers... like when a player tries to pull the "classic" half-pincer movement.

"well....you know there is trouble a brewing when that saying comes out" - Rob McLean

by failure33object April 22, 2005

uber-jacko

short for uber-Jackolas. a demonic resurrection of Saint Jackolas after he has died. uber-Jacko has uber-Jesus Juice which contains the extra ingredient of peppermint and a dash of pure oxygen. more of a danger to the youth population than measles and meningitis combined.

"capable of winning any checkers game, no matter how many opponents" - Rob McLean, uber-Jacko victim

by failure33object April 26, 2005

winston churchill

the man! ceegar-chomping, country-beating, Hitler-dominating badass! the man who saved Britain from a future of camp haircuts and rotten food. and possible buggery. a very tough man who could stand up to anyone and scare them off.

the scene: a dinner party.
*Winston C farts loudly*
Aggrieved Gent: "How dare you pass wind in front of my wife!"
Winst: "I'm sorry, I didn't know it was her turn."

by failure33object April 24, 2005

bulbasaur

Alan Titmarch's worst nightmare, a plant which walks and can shoot razor leaves. also has the ability to whip folk with seeds. spotted frequently in Swansea, where he grows to enormous size due to the colossal amount of rain. his best attributes are his massive head. eats candy and mince beef.

most likely to say: "bulba, bulba!"
least likely to say: "what the blazes is that yellow mouse squawking for?"

by failure33object April 19, 2005