failure33object's definitions

kraken

a huge killer dragon beast that lives in the sea, possibly Godzilla's father. according to folklore the kraken was originally someones pet gecko and that person angered the God's by peeing in the village fountain, so Zeus made his pet gecko grow to around 60 metres high and ordered it to kill him. alternate sources say it got trapped in a greenhouse. starred in the film "Clash Of The Titans".

The Kraken: "WRAAAARGH!"
Perseus: "leave me alone you big spastic lizard!"
The Kraken: "BY ORDER OF ZEUS I MUST KILL!!"
*Perseus stabs the Kraken in the eye*
The Kraken: "OOOW! YOU LITTLE SOD!"

by failure33object April 26, 2005

buffoonery

(1) a term to describe an act of complete twattery, normally carried out by a buffoon.
(2) plural of buffet.

(1) "did you hear of Dan Newton's latest act of buffoonery?"
(2) "what a nice buffoonery! where are the sausages on sticks, eh?"

by failure33object April 26, 2005

winston churchill

the man! ceegar-chomping, country-beating, Hitler-dominating badass! the man who saved Britain from a future of camp haircuts and rotten food. and possible buggery. a very tough man who could stand up to anyone and scare them off.

the scene: a dinner party.
*Winston C farts loudly*
Aggrieved Gent: "How dare you pass wind in front of my wife!"
Winst: "I'm sorry, I didn't know it was her turn."

by failure33object April 24, 2005

kingage

word commonly used in checkers when one player reaches his/her opponents side of the board, resulting in a crown being placed atop the successful checker. more often than not, kings are keen to free any P.o.W's or will hop around the board in a wild frenzy.

"that kingage is gonna result in a one-checker kill frenzy!"

by failure33object April 20, 2005

uber-jacko

short for uber-Jackolas. a demonic resurrection of Saint Jackolas after he has died. uber-Jacko has uber-Jesus Juice which contains the extra ingredient of peppermint and a dash of pure oxygen. more of a danger to the youth population than measles and meningitis combined.

"capable of winning any checkers game, no matter how many opponents" - Rob McLean, uber-Jacko victim

by failure33object April 26, 2005

aerials

a superb song by System of a Down. with such awesome words like: "life is a waterfall, we're one in the river and one again after the fall" and "we drink from the river then we turn around and put up our walls" this song is an appropriate (water-based) take on life. and with a music video featuring people who seem to have been left in a wind tunnel overnight, who's to argue that this is a stone-cold classic.

"we are the ones who wanna play, always wanna win but ya never wanna lose"

by failure33object April 24, 2005

half pincer

an intricate play used in games such as American football, hockey and checkers. involves forming an enclosure around a player to force him/her into submission. favoured by Mrs. Doubtfire, transvestite nanny, and Saint Jackolas, checkers icon.

St. Jackolas "man, check my badass half-pincer on Macaulay, Mrs. D!"
Mrs. Doubtfire "ooh very nice dear!"
Macaulay "please let me go home now."

by failure33object April 23, 2005