5 definitions by eggpress

Top Definition
An obnoxiously loud, nasally, attention monger who speaks too frequently for their brain to produce intelligent information fast enough to make the utterances worthwhile; simply to remind themselves that they are intelligent enough to conversate in the first place. they are correct and knowledgeable on any topic, especially finance and politics, regardless of whether or not they are actually correct and knowledgeable. they also are in denial as to their own self worth and social status, which is usually low due to their overall cocky disposition, irritating voice, and amount of time spent obsessing over monetary gain and career goals which results in the neglect of a spirtual side and eventual social ostracization. this dilemma is made up for by taking an out of date, unrealistic, pretentious religion very seriously.
feinstein: Yes, I calculated a total of 12.43 for your total share of gas money and you only paid me 12.25.
That Matisyahu sucks so bad, it makes me want to beat up a feinstein.
Stop talking during the movie you feinstein motherfucker.
Ow feinstein! Your nose just poked me in the eye!

by eggpress August 07, 2006
A moronic decision involving the ruthless advancement of your already tattered yet gigantic ego. A way of acting which is superiorly ignorant and blind to any abstract ways of thinking except how cool cartoons are when you are high.
IE A bonehead move.
IE Incarcerating yourself in a life of short term happiness and dead end goals which will result in heavy drug use and alcoholism once your wife hits 300lbs and starts beating your ass with a broomstick.
Good job shitface, way to pull a pittman you stupid cock loving blockheaded piece of shit asswiping tampon sucking mongrel of white niggers piss stained dick biscuit licking fart biter. You should go eat your girlfriends shit and lick her ass clean like the hermaphroditic pansy bitch that you are. While youre at it, you should go buy me some condoms so I can fuck your girlfriend in your mothers bed and video tape it so i can play it at your wedding reception while you hide in the closet and shit your pants on purpose, fuckbag.
Your head is go goddamn big and square, you could wear a cardboard box as a fitted hat you lame nipple sniffing man turd. Why dont you go dream about molesting your girlfriends boyfriend and beat off with a pencil sharpener.
...See that man trying to devour his own leg? Hes pulling a pittman.
by eggpress August 07, 2006
When a squirrels testicles swell to the size of a baseball and he sits on them like and ottoman...his name automatically becomes such.
Holy shit, did you see eggpress on the fence post? Wow yea, his nuts are out of control...could it be elephantitis? Son of a bitch, did you see eggpress' sack? Its the size of a goddamn watermelon! What the shit? Does he have ball-irritation from them bouncing off of each fence post as he runs? And how? Don't mess with eggpress, he is mad today because his bag is inflamed!
by eggpress August 07, 2006
arboreal rodent. completely insane. only emotions: neutral, terrified, enraged. males testicles sometimes swell to outrageous proportions. outliving and outnumbering the human race.
Jesus, did you see eggpress the squirrel on the fence today? His testicles are the size of baseballs! They just keep growing!
The squirrel left turdlinks and nutshells all over the place with no regard to sanitation.
I chose to run over the family so to avoid the squirrel crossing the road. I am glad the squirrel was able to cross safely.
by eggpress August 07, 2006
an illusitory term used by blacks amongst themselves to half fool eachother and the general population into thinking that theyre so self confident that they can actually twist their infamous derrogatory tag of nigger into a socially hip phrase and essentially change the definition altogether. Such is not so. When considering the source, the word is simply a degenerated version of nigger used by blacks who couldnt pronounce the 'er' due to their hotdog sized lower lip or simply didnt care to because speaking proper english is far too hard when youve had 10 bottles of malt liquor and are incoherantly high from huffing gasoline by 2pm each day.
Sit nigga i dus foun a half bottl a waan in dat dumpsta.
Wow dude, use some deodorant; you smell like a nigga.
Wut it do like nigga? You in da clubjumpaz?
The fire department had to come get the nigga out of the tree.
The nigga got his arm stuck in the mailbox.
Animal control was called because a nigga was throwing his feces at passing vehicles because he didn't know any better.
by eggpress August 07, 2006

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