eazy-x's definitions

mario nintendo

a tired middle aged man walks through the sewers...
a plump italian plumber...worn thin
sick of everyday life...he is an everyday man...
working his days away...no norm seems to ever break...nothing new to look forward to..
fixing pipes, tightening screws, fixing leaks....it gets old..really old...
days become meaningless...living from paycheck to paycheck
age is quickly coming...nothing ever changed
the tired look of his face...it shows through very clearly...
his arms get weak at the end of the day...
he is like all men are......HE IS VULNERABLE....more and more fragile by the day
but there is always meaning.....always a tiny bit of meaning in life.....
a tiny bit that shines through everything
he pops a giant mushroom....
.............
he who battles giant lizards the size of dinosaurs...
jumps on top of bullets and travels lands never seen by any man...
rides the backs of dinosaurs swallowing enemies....
stomps on owl's faces...epic battles he wins by himself
or by the help of friends and family...luigi, princess peach,yoshi, toad...
the one who destroyed donkey kong after climbing towers to rescue princess peach...
he jumps mountains....travels worlds...travels galaxies...battles flying ships.. smashes turtles
he has seen and done everything there is ever to be see and done...
he throws fire from a flower...collects golden coins out of boxes...
he fights and fights...with his two hands he has helped the world...
fighting through the ghost houses
through the swamps...
through rainbows...
through the stars and galaxies...
through giant castles and caves...there is glory...
he has destroyed the ultimate evil...King Kooper
he has won gold medals through kart races...
the world is in his hands...life has taken him to the extreme....
women adore him...children look up to him
people prize him...HE IS MARIO, the greatest man who ever lived
..............
days go by...it's 9:00 in the morning, another beginning of a cold, sick day of work
the sewers get cold and lonely....there is no space to move...
nobody looks up to a plumber...no one even really cares...
work drags on....days come and go without sunshine...
he pushes forward.....for what? pennies on the dollar
nothing ever changes...he packs his lunch
sleep, eat, work, repeat, sleep, eat, work
day after day...he takes a deep breathe...
looks at his watch, finally it's here...
friday, it's 5:00 pm

a plumber climbs from the
cold sewers after a days work....
the green pipes stench a dirty filth-like tar....
the grime, the blackness, the nasty textures of the brutal
sewers....his thick gloves are held tightly...
the old and tired sewer worker in overalls takes his
days off in the a private sanctuary...away from the
norms of our society.....his cold metal tools
weigh him down. they hang on a big harsh leather belt...
...he hasn't seen the friendly sun in days....
the intensity of hard work has him beat....
he hasn't seen his family in a while...he of italian origin...
he is weary and it is hidden beneath his mustache
......
he pops a mushroom......becomes a giant
he takes his days off in a sanctuary
where giant flowers attack him...
he is a hero for his world....
his princess love interest is kidnapped by a giant beast lizard
he who walks in a straight line....the line of his reality....
he tosses fire from a flower and uses it as a weapon....
he dodges giant bullets and bombs by jumping and knocking
bricks with his head...he stomps on the faces of shy guys...
he battles great epic battles on flying ships....
battles greats like donkey kong...
battle after battle...this assassin is the people's choice....
he who stomps on monsters' heads with his feet...
he is mario nintendo......godfather of the nintendo world....
.....
...he goes back into the sewer...
to finish his work...work...work..day after day....same old routine
wearing thin and tired......work to get the bills paid...
he brushes the dirt off his shoulders, takes a deep breath, falls alseep
and wakes up to another day of work in the sewers...

by eazy-x February 7, 2008

pretentious

a very contagious word. people who use the word pretentious are usually pretentious themselves. People who blame things for being showy and pretentious usually do so to indirectly say they are not pretentious themselves which is pretentious. People who use the word are also pretentious because the word pretentious is a big word that shows intellectualism. Pretentious just means showy, over the top, egotistic without proof, or psuedo intellectually acting smart but not really being smart. fans of the band tool are pretentious.

Gimmicks are pretentiously unique. The cool philosophical book smart kids at the coffee shop are pretentious. The weird artsy film is pretentious because it didn't make sense but showed fake intellectual property. the boy who wanted to look rich but didn't own much money is pretentious. the druggie kids who think they are smarter than everyone are pretentious. people who rant a lot of politics but do nothing are pretentious. and finally i'm pretentious for saying all those people are pretentious because i have nothing to show for myself either.

by eazy-x February 8, 2008

hipster

see non hipster. today's 2008 hipster definition has flipped around. the hipster these days is the normal average everyday walmart/starbucks shopper. walmart is bigger than jesus. he drives a normal car, listens to normal mainstream rock and pop, hangs out at the mall and starbucks, eats mcdonalds and applebees.he lives a predictable and forgettable life. because punk and emo have become so prominant in the last few years. the normal guy is now considered the hipster because there are only a few of them left. the hipster insults punk kids, art kids, indie kids, coffeeshop kids, pretentious psuedo intellectuals because the preppy 2008 hipster kid thinks he is normal, average everyday, and cool. today's hipster is a college kid getting drunk from using his rich parent's money and whining about liberals. he is too passive aggressive to do it in person so he goes online to insult art kids, liberals, anything anti mainstream, booksmart people. he is showy with his parent's money because his parent's are rich yuppie hipsters by this definition.

Today's definition of hipster has really turned around. i'm part new definition hipster and part old. i admit, i like some indie stuff everyone considers pretentious and some mainstream stuff people think is too poppy. i shop walmart, starbucks and drive an suv and i eat at some underground mom and pop shop and hang out with artists and punks and conservative people. my favorite food is mcdonalds. i wear thick framed glasses but alot of brand names from Express and Addidas and the buckle. asics are my favorite shoe. i like underground experimental art and some mainstream summer blockbuster movies. i listen to heavy metal, gangsta rap, indie, pop top 40, punk, death metal, country noir, britney spears, broken social scene, classical music, film score, trip hop and neo soul, and rock. i graduated college and have money from a career in graphic design making mainstream commercial ads and logos.

by eazy-x February 15, 2008

abstract art

The most misunderstood form of visual art. The passive art audience will say abstract art is meaningless because all it is is a bunch of meaningless shapes and colors and that anybody can do it. Yes, anybody can do abstract art by throwing paint on a canvas but not many are actually good at it. That's like saying anybody can make abstract noise out of a guitar, very few are actually really good at it. It takes a sensitive and trained eye to know good marks and good brush strokes and composition just like music. Just like listening to abstract music from an instrument. And no, not anyone could throw paint on a canvas and make tons of money off of it. If that were the case everyone would be rich and famous and there are very few rich and famous abstract artist out there today. Only people who were the first at what they did are really famous. People know nothing about this art form and still judge it out of ignorance, they haven't done a single bit of research and think they know everything about abstract art and what it means. I could say Jimmy Page is a pretentious hipster because he makes a bunch of non sensical sounds out of a guitar and I don't know what they mean. The purpose of abstract art is not always to interpret the meaning for himself. There is such thing as bad abstract art and good abstract art. People who hate abstract art are normally hypocrits because they whine about modern abstract art yet they go on to enjoy other forms of abstract art like it's normal. Music is an abstract form of art, beats and guitars, and sound is meaningless. Design is abstract where shape, color, form, composition is abstract. Compositional shots in film is abstract, there is color, space, etc. Just about anything designed is abstract. Look at a nice car that you like for instance, it's the shapes and colors that please your eyes. Look at anything artificial that you think looks good, it is still the shape, color, form, composition that pleases the eye not the fact that it is an object. A painting is still an object, it doesn't always have to represent anything. That's like me saying why is your car red? what does it mean? why are there different shapes on your car, it makes no sense. Look at all the buildings all around you, look at all the things around you, there is abstract elements that look good everywhere. Some will go as far as saying abstract art is actually from analyzing and object where the origin of the abstract is actually an object being abstracted. Also consider the concepts put into abstract art.

Dumb people think they know everything about abstract art just sound stupid because they contradict everything they say. If anybody could make millions off of abstract art go prove it and try it for yourself. go throw some paint on a canvas and tell me how far you will make it. are you as smart as you sound?

by eazy-X April 29, 2008

juno perv

someone masturbating to ellen page while watching the new 2008 movie juno in theaters.

you're a juno perv for masturbating to ellen page in her new movie.

by eazy-x February 19, 2008

justice

I once had a guy do a drive by insult on me as i was walking my dogs. he called me a fagot ass motherfucker. i remembered his face and car. i ran into him accidentally when he was walking out of a store months later. i pissed into a bottle and splashed it all over the interior of his car. i also dumped salt and water into the gas tank of another different drive by insult. drive by insults are for passive aggressive trash who think they have the last laugh. I'm still laughing now, motherfucker!

drive by insults may be funny for the passive driver, but some people like myself have taken REAL ACTION for vengeance. they don't know when it's coming or how. justice

they only think they can get away. but i've made sure to remember their face, car and plate.

by eazy-X April 28, 2008

shit swipe

i'm wiping my credit card on my asshole
that way when i go to buy stuff i'll leave my
shit stain on the credit card machine after
it is swiped....
then when everyone uses the same machine will
get my shit on their card...
and eventually on their hand...
when they start eating food
it'll be my shit on their hands...
and into their fuckin mouth

my shit swipe is contagious

by eazy-X March 6, 2008