Urban Dictionary: Definitions by dr. heywood r. floyd

crack pipe

what people tell you to put down, when you say something stupid.

Stupid Person: How many calories does water have?

Me: Put down the crack pipe. It doesn't have any, it's water.

by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd June 7, 2007

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Don't even go there.

Don't try that. Don't bring up that subject. You'll get nowhere with me, by trying the argumentative tactic that you just attempted.

Person #1: Hey, stop drinking my beer!

Person #2: Well, you took a nibble of my chicken diable that time.

Person #1: Don't even go there.

by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd September 28, 2008

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a girl who is gross, but a hottie. She burps, farts, scratches her butt and when she picks her nose or ears yells, "Jackpot!"

Particularly desirable as a girlfriend as she's hot... and being gross herself, she can never be disgusted with you because she is disgusting herself.

Marry her.

You hit the jackpot, brotha! You’ve got a girlfriend who can never get on your case for being disgusting because she’s even more disgusting. Sonny is gross and a hottie. She’s a Grottie!

by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd August 20, 2010

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thought-criminal

an American who isn't a neocon.

You're a traitor! You're a thought-criminal! You're a terrorist spy! I'll shoot you, I'll vaporize you, I'll send you to the salt mines!

by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 6, 2007

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moistmaker

an extra slice of gravy-soaked bread inside a turkey sandwich to make it extra moist. Monica on "Friends" invented it and Ross named it. Ross got really upset one time, when his boss ate his sandwich with a moistmaker.

Ross: Oh-oh really? Did you confuse it with your own turkey sandwich with a moistmaker?

by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd December 25, 2007

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