52 definitions by daltonjfk
Swiping psychotically through Tinder after dinner each night of the holidays to kill time and ensure matches.
Alone in quarantine or bored stiff on their parents' couch, young singles everywhere swipe to the end of their daily allowance, reaping a heinous daily match with a past-prime hometown hottie, or the waiter from the cafe downstairs you've never seen with his mask off. Tinder Advent Calendar matches offer all the short-lived indulgence of the advent chocolates of childhood, but with the added risk of a dick pic.
Alone in quarantine or bored stiff on their parents' couch, young singles everywhere swipe to the end of their daily allowance, reaping a heinous daily match with a past-prime hometown hottie, or the waiter from the cafe downstairs you've never seen with his mask off. Tinder Advent Calendar matches offer all the short-lived indulgence of the advent chocolates of childhood, but with the added risk of a dick pic.
Harriet's Tinder Advent Calendar currently features Abs Joe from Chem, now a year-round receptionist, and Cute Window Guy who makes ugly infographics on his Instagram.
by daltonjfk December 17, 2020
Hot, charismatic guy whom you quickly realise is some seriously toxic bad news.
Irresistable with his deep voice, toned chest, and prickly stubble; owns a different quilted coat for every outfit and actually knows how to fold a pocket square. However, after not much time you realise he has more insecurities than a game of Jenga and more commitment issues than the New York Subway.
Irresistable with his deep voice, toned chest, and prickly stubble; owns a different quilted coat for every outfit and actually knows how to fold a pocket square. However, after not much time you realise he has more insecurities than a game of Jenga and more commitment issues than the New York Subway.
Yvonne: "I don't know...he's in the best frat, drives a Benz, looks like Apollo, has a house in Rapallo..."
Ciara: "Leave him. He may have the biceps of Zeus, but he's still just a douche. His smile's disarming, but he's still Prince Alarming..."
Ciara: "Leave him. He may have the biceps of Zeus, but he's still just a douche. His smile's disarming, but he's still Prince Alarming..."
by daltonjfk October 3, 2019
Someone you wouldn't really talk to except that sitting next to them in class comes with the crucial benefit of always being able to borrow their pens.
Fuccbois and fuccgirls worldwide begin making friends with penefits around middle school, and perfect the technique in high school and college. Shy students with large, adorned pencil cases are often the targets.
Always a one-sided relationship. Taker will gnaw on pen caps the way lovers gnaw on hearts.
Fuccbois and fuccgirls worldwide begin making friends with penefits around middle school, and perfect the technique in high school and college. Shy students with large, adorned pencil cases are often the targets.
Always a one-sided relationship. Taker will gnaw on pen caps the way lovers gnaw on hearts.
From 7th grade through 11th grade, Teddy thought Alyssa and him might have a future together after sitting together in English for 6 years. However, when he started using a tablet and stylus instead of his Pilot pens, she moved to sit next to Chad and he realised they had never been anything more than friends with penefits.
by daltonjfk October 3, 2019
Rogue slices of pizza discovered in the cracks of a couch after a long night of drinking and/or smoking the devil’s cabbage.
Often consumed, though always in secret.
Often consumed, though always in secret.
by daltonjfk September 16, 2019
Award given to a college student kitchen that has produced dishes other than pasta, couscous, and scrambled eggs. Prize includes a set of forks that match each other.
Gaia: “I went over to Brooke’s last night and she made baked potatoes with mushrooms.”
Sammy: “Someone give that girl a College Michelin Star.”
Sammy: “Someone give that girl a College Michelin Star.”
by daltonjfk September 27, 2019
Mountain Dew, Monster, or any other high-sugar caffeinated soft drink to which white males aged 15-35 become addicted while listening intently and crying softly to the songs of Nickelback and Linkin Park.
Popular in suburban America but can be found elsewhere.
Popular in suburban America but can be found elsewhere.
Trevor: “Yo Kyle’s put on a lot of weight since the summer started.”
Mikey: “Yeah bro, his girlfriend dumped him so he’s been playing cod and hitting that Nickelback crack.”
Mikey: “Yeah bro, his girlfriend dumped him so he’s been playing cod and hitting that Nickelback crack.”
by daltonjfk September 1, 2019
by daltonjfk September 16, 2019