13 definitions by candiedbones

An old person and/or someone who is not fun. A kill-joy, elder; fun-hater. Not to be confused with ageism, by any means.
While we were car scaping, I looked to the left of me in order to sing an obnoxious song off the radio to another driver, who was in another automobile. The balding patches and discontent look gave me the notion, he was indeed a yamp.

Originally published by Allison Burns 11/29/2007
by candiedbones October 7, 2019
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A crouton-brain is a term used for individuals who are overall a waste of space. They more than likely are uneducated, but feel the need to be heard, ill-mannered and have a sense of undeserving self-confidence... although some are disguised as attractive on the outside. Typically a crouton will pretend to have similar interests to fit into the social setting they placed themselves into, and do not carry a sense of individuality, sophistication or class. Lacking any true intellectual substance or awareness.
This crouton-brain I saw at the bar wouldn’t stop talking about politics while drunk and it was obvious by their vocabulary they were uninformed, but continued to scream at strangers and spill their drink.
by candiedbones January 13, 2021
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Mashed potatoes you eat at night to help you fall asleep.
I was feeling jittery so I made some “night potatoes” to watch Dawson’s Creek with, in hopes I’d fall asleep sooner than later.
by candiedbones November 9, 2021
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Like a perfectionist, but you give some slack on the completion of tasks.
I’ve become an almostist at keeping my home tidy. I am a perfectionist who wants things perfectly clean, but I wasn’t feeling well so I became a almostist at letting things remain not perfectly in place.
by candiedbones January 25, 2020
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Shopping Theory is the concept that applies to both life in general and shopping itself. If you’re certain of something, you just know. If you see something you absolutely love, you won’t even look at the price tag because you know you want it. If you question it at all, even if it’s on clearance, put it back - you don’t need it. Same goes for everyday life decisions; if you question it you can do without. When you know, you know.
I found a dress that was on clearance but after trying it on and shifting around I couldnt make up my mind if I needed it; because I questioned I applied Shopping Theory and put it back despite the sale price.
by candiedbones April 3, 2019
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‘Ride and Bride’ refers to the opposite of the saying “smash and dash”. Instead of hooking up with someone and fleeing the scene, you sleep with someone with the intention of an eventual relationship and/or marriage.
I’m gonna Ride and Bride this ace I met online.
by candiedbones November 26, 2020
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The thought concept of if you really want something, no matter the circumstances, just get it. No restrictions or excuses can get in your way of obtaining your goal no matter how big or small.
I was driving home from a trip one day and saw a billboard for a giant buttermilk biscuit. Being vegan, I thought to myself, "I can't have this". Then I said, "Fuck this, if I want a fucking biscuit, I'll have a damn biscuit". Since that day on, if I really want something, I'll go out and get it. This is Biscuit Theory in it's purest form.
by candiedbones September 6, 2017
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