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brucester's definitions

space cookies

Skiing: A small lump of very hard snow or ice that looks innocent enough but it is practically welded to the piste causing you to stumble when you ski into it. Usually encountered first thing in the morning before the sun has loosened the snow up.
Following a wipe-out....."I think I must have hit a space cookie or something"

OR

Take it easy guys this next bit is littered with space cookies
by Brucester September 10, 2006
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slocker

Mendip caving slang for a cave entrance that has been used as a dump. Possibly very old term but widly used now.
Ee slocked it down that there hole. i.e Stoke Lane Slocker
by Brucester September 16, 2006
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pork oil

Practically unacknowledged existence of highly porky smelling oil secreted around the anus - avoid showering for a few days to discover this. Can be smeared under the nose of a fellow camping / dormitory occupant as a punishment.

Other 'oils' exist - discover and enjoy......
Lamb oil - found in the pubes,
Cheese oil - found between toes esp. athletes foot
Bacon & onion oil - armpits
Chicken oil - hair!
Prawn oil - earns, esp if infected.
I taught the arsewipe not to snore, I gave him a pork oil moustache.
by Brucester September 10, 2006
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indirect fart

Draconian punishment for the fussy girfriend who keeps complaining about your unavoidabe flatulence, and who keeps escaping when you try to hold her head under the blanket.

A rich fart is released silently into your hand, you expell all air from your lungs then breath in the fart from your closed hand. You now make an amorous approach and breath the fart into her face / mouth as you kiss her. This will cure the problem as she WILL leave you. Failing this you repeat the procedure but first you bite strips of of your fingernails and wedge them between your teeth - an "indirect fart with nails"
I gave her an indirect fart
by Brucester September 10, 2006
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Brexititis

A neurological condition whereby the patient's real personality is suddenly revealed by their simple loss of ability to accept views different to their own, Leave or Remain, to the point at which they suspend all respect for others and then enter into raised levels of judgement and hatred creating social division.

Signs include excess heat, hot sunken eyes, redness, finger poking, increased volume, pronounced veins, general appearance of shitty indignation and judgemental and personal posting on social media including memes that are borderline legal.

Brexititis can be highly contagious in closed circles such as pubs, market stalls, farms, small businesses, school staff rooms and hospitals and is more prevalent among people aged 30+. Bed rest is the only cure - hence young people tend never to catch it in the first place.
They were having a stimulating conversation and then someone said, "What do you reckon to the referendum?". Immigration was then discussed whereupon several people exhibited an episode of Brexititis.
by Brucester July 2, 2016
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clot mop

Man, the beach was utterly discusting, all sorts; used clot mops, skin willies and logs of shit
by Brucester September 16, 2006
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gregory

Cockney rhyming slang: Gregory Peck - neck. (Becoming out dated now though.)
Get that down yer Gregory
by Brucester September 10, 2006
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