37 definitions by brucester

age

Pronounced 'idge' a suffix attached to almost any word. Invented in 1988. Whilst doing exhibition work we were asked to, "Go and put up the 'signage' to which we replied,
"And after that we are going to have some drinkage some clubbage and a bit of kebabage" Since then adding 'age' to the end of a word has spread impressively but now seems to be on the decline.

Kippage, drinkage, chatage, swimage etc etc

by brucester September 10, 2006

hwank

hwank or hwankers. Invented by Tourettes sufferer Pete Bennett of Big Brother 7 fame. Word is identical to wank or wankers but is intentionally poorly disguised by a cough, thus absolving the user of any responsibility for using an expletive.

"Grace is getting booed, they're booing Grace - hwankers"
Using the word 'wankers' he would have been insulting the people he wanted to vote for him, but 'hwankers' - no problem.

by brucester September 1, 2006

grout

Alt. name for a fart. An extremely accurate onomatopoeia for a very short ripping stuccatto type fart. So accurate it follows the word exactly. GR - The rasping start, OU - the classic change in tone. T - the abrupt end as the sphincter slams shut. GR OU T

Did you hear that? Someone grouted during prayers.

by brucester September 10, 2006

cowsh

Mendip caving slang for cow shit.

As we entered sump five we found that it was thigh deep in cowsh.

by brucester September 16, 2006

space cookies

Skiing: A small lump of very hard snow or ice that looks innocent enough but it is practically welded to the piste causing you to stumble when you ski into it. Usually encountered first thing in the morning before the sun has loosened the snow up.

Following a wipe-out....."I think I must have hit a space cookie or something"

OR

Take it easy guys this next bit is littered with space cookies

by brucester September 10, 2006

clot mop

Tampax tampon sanitary towel.

Man, the beach was utterly discusting, all sorts; used clot mops, skin willies and logs of shit

by brucester September 16, 2006

zaffle

The act of wiping your cock clean on the back of the living room curtains.

You have just arrived home late and have furtively drilled your new girlfriend on the living room floor of her house whilst the rest of the family are asleep upstairs. The kettle is on and she has crept upstairs to the bathroom to have a piss and muck out her meat wallet. You are desperate to dry your cock......the kitchen is tidy, even you wouldn't use a tea towell!! no kitchen roll handy and no downstairs loo......It HAS to be a zaffle with the back of the living room curtains.

by brucester September 1, 2006