brown fudge sunday

No....not a mis-spelling. A day of the week upon which you should be afforded rest and relaxation, but due to the fact that you have three children under four years of age you spend that day packing a despatching shit pastys into the nappy bin.
"Hey come on, I've done six today already - you have a go,
I'm just having a brown fudge sunday and bugger all else"
by Brucester September 16, 2006
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indirect fart

Draconian punishment for the fussy girfriend who keeps complaining about your unavoidabe flatulence, and who keeps escaping when you try to hold her head under the blanket.

A rich fart is released silently into your hand, you expell all air from your lungs then breath in the fart from your closed hand. You now make an amorous approach and breath the fart into her face / mouth as you kiss her. This will cure the problem as she WILL leave you. Failing this you repeat the procedure but first you bite strips of of your fingernails and wedge them between your teeth - an "indirect fart with nails"
I gave her an indirect fart
by Brucester September 10, 2006
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builder's inspection

Unprofessional behaviour by domestic builders whereby during their lunch break they ALWAYS inspect the contents of the underwear drawer of an absent home owner especially if she is a real honey. Passing the items round they mentally picture her wearing them....I'm told...by numerous building acquaintances.
"Arrrrrrrrgh !!! You make sure you lock those fucking monkies out when you leave tomorrow"

"Why ????? They're doing great with the conservatory"

"BECAUSE David, they've held a fucking Builder's Inspection - that's why....I can tell"
by Brucester September 18, 2006
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grout

Alt. name for a fart. An extremely accurate onomatopoeia for a very short ripping stuccatto type fart. So accurate it follows the word exactly. GR - The rasping start, OU - the classic change in tone. T - the abrupt end as the sphincter slams shut. GR OU T
Did you hear that? Someone grouted during prayers.
by Brucester September 10, 2006
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Industrial Tribunal

Industrial Tribunal (UK) used to be a court designed to deal with the bad employers. It is now a sham, 1000s of good employers are ending up being IT'd due to 'no win - no fee solicitors' and an oppressive spiteful govenment.
We're not sure what we did wrong, it's so complicated. We spent £12k on legal fees in the run up to court. We made a mistake in our HR procedures and were fined £16k. I have now lost my house and my company. Turns out that the claimant has done this 3 times before.

Welcome to Industrial Tribunal in the UK !
by Brucester May 11, 2011
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cowsh

Mendip caving slang for cow shit.
As we entered sump five we found that it was thigh deep in cowsh.
by Brucester September 16, 2006
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clot mop

Man, the beach was utterly discusting, all sorts; used clot mops, skin willies and logs of shit
by Brucester September 16, 2006
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