brucester's definitions

golden hello

A term you may have previously used in business to describe a cash bonus on appointment, not in this instance though!..........

The sudden deluge of warm sweet smelling regurgitated SMA Gold infant formula that runs down your neck and shoulders during 'burping' - usually followed by a smile. It's what you get for being lazy and trying to get the whole bottle down without 'burping' mid way.

"Darling, has Jemima been fed" "Er-nope, not exactly she's
just had a golden hello"

by Brucester September 13, 2006

Power Fish

You have just woken up after a shag, you need a piss and you also need to get rid of the used condom still on your cock, you also need to make certain that the condom is totally disposed of.........enter the POWER FISH, holding the condom still in place you empty your bladder into it, then precisely positioning yourself so that the baloon of piss is directly over the deepest part of the pan, then let go immediatly with both hands. A 'bonus power fish' is sometimes achieved whereby the payload drops with such force that it vanishes round the U bend immediately without even flushing.

The science behind a bonus power fish is still poorly understood but may have something to do with the shape of the particular pan and also the volume of piss in the skin willie. BPF's still only account for 5% of Power Fish.

Re-enters the room....<Thinks> Fucking dynamite Power Fish.

She <thinks> wierd cunt, sounded like a power dump, I wonder if his arse is prolapsed?

by Brucester September 13, 2006

tarahted

Impressively knackered or broken.

1. I'll give it a miss, I'm feeling totally tarahted

2. Well I might as well bin it now, you've completely tarahted it.

3. Have you seen what those chavs have done to the bus stop - it's completely tarahted.

by Brucester September 10, 2006

piss pasty

Used disposable nappy. Once folded into place with the velcrow wings secured it resembles a product from the Ginsters range.

While you're up their would you empty the nappy bin - it's
solid with 'piss pastys'

by Brucester September 10, 2006

jap skewed

Farting technique. You have a really great girlfriend who you want to keep, but she keeps feeding you onions which are giving you massive flatulence. Your relationship hasn't developed well enough for you to grout in her presence so........as a massive bubble drops into place you
pull your anus sideways with your index finger commuting your fart from the obvious to an unexplained fffffff noise.

She was a right bobby dazzeler and sod's law I had a massive
shit gas attack, but I 'jap skewed' them all, luckily they were plain flavoured and stenchless so I'm on a promise for Thursday now!

by Brucester September 10, 2006

brown fudge sunday

No....not a mis-spelling. A day of the week upon which you should be afforded rest and relaxation, but due to the fact that you have three children under four years of age you spend that day packing a despatching shit pastys into the nappy bin.

"Hey come on, I've done six today already - you have a go,
I'm just having a brown fudge sunday and bugger all else"

by Brucester September 16, 2006

rop up

Vomit. An onomatopoeia describing in particular the hearty sound of someone painfully emptying their guts

"Where's John, I thought he was with us??" "He's just about to rop up round the back of the bus shelter - we better wait for him"

by Brucester September 10, 2006