brucester's definitions
Honey...........I was wondering.........when you give me a
BJ...why not blow instead of suck?!?....it might work.
As she blows you RASP one out. "Hey don't blow that hard,
it's not a trumpet.....now I've had a blartkin
BJ...why not blow instead of suck?!?....it might work.
As she blows you RASP one out. "Hey don't blow that hard,
it's not a trumpet.....now I've had a blartkin
by Brucester January 31, 2008
Get the blartkin mug.A Fart: A fart of specific audiophonic quality, a long melancholy sound with a gradual drop in tone identical to the howl of a wolf
It was a still moonlit night, my last meal contained raw onions, the dusty old house lay silent. Out of respect for partner I lay on my side pulled back the duvet, letting out
a spectacular 'bowel howl' the likes of which would inspire a novel by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
a spectacular 'bowel howl' the likes of which would inspire a novel by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
by Brucester September 10, 2006
Get the bowel howl mug.A critical and sometimes expensive condition whereby a builder goes off at a tangent and does something you didn't want. Why is it called, "Non specific"? BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T SPECIFY IT !
Opens door, "Oh no what's that?" Why have they done that? When challenged the builder will start his reply with, "What I thought was" You will think, "I am a victim of Non Specific Builderitis"
by Brucester April 10, 2008
Get the Non Specific Builderitis mug.A term you may have previously used in business to describe a cash bonus on appointment, not in this instance though!..........
The sudden deluge of warm sweet smelling regurgitated SMA Gold infant formula that runs down your neck and shoulders during 'burping' - usually followed by a smile. It's what you get for being lazy and trying to get the whole bottle down without 'burping' mid way.
The sudden deluge of warm sweet smelling regurgitated SMA Gold infant formula that runs down your neck and shoulders during 'burping' - usually followed by a smile. It's what you get for being lazy and trying to get the whole bottle down without 'burping' mid way.
by Brucester September 13, 2006
Get the golden hello mug."Treasure" brought up from shipwrecks on the seabed by scuba divers.
For "Treasure" read - mainly bits of brass rubbish. For "Brought up" read - furiuosly chiseled off against the clock. For "Scuba Divers" read - thieving pikeys.
For "Seabed" read - murkey depths of cold water with visibility of two metres.
For Spidge there is a heirachy of value, disregard all gold, jewells and other fantasy land nonsense the real wreck treasure chart goes something like this:-
1= Ships bell
2= Telegraph / telemotor
3= Compass binnacle
4= Helm
5= Steam whistle
6= Nice brass Nav or deck lights
7= Portholes
8= Crockery & cutlery etc
Consolation prizes for the lower ranks of the air diving one tank numpty:-
Rubber soles from dead seamans shoes, unidentified piece of brass, crockery fragment, lead shot, hooked up fishing weights, pieces of diving equipment dropped by other novices.
All of the quality items have to be reported to the Receiver Of Wreck who finds out if you are allowed to keep the stuff. The remaining detritus is used to decorate your fireplace until you get married when the wife "accidentally" puts it out for the dustman.
For "Treasure" read - mainly bits of brass rubbish. For "Brought up" read - furiuosly chiseled off against the clock. For "Scuba Divers" read - thieving pikeys.
For "Seabed" read - murkey depths of cold water with visibility of two metres.
For Spidge there is a heirachy of value, disregard all gold, jewells and other fantasy land nonsense the real wreck treasure chart goes something like this:-
1= Ships bell
2= Telegraph / telemotor
3= Compass binnacle
4= Helm
5= Steam whistle
6= Nice brass Nav or deck lights
7= Portholes
8= Crockery & cutlery etc
Consolation prizes for the lower ranks of the air diving one tank numpty:-
Rubber soles from dead seamans shoes, unidentified piece of brass, crockery fragment, lead shot, hooked up fishing weights, pieces of diving equipment dropped by other novices.
All of the quality items have to be reported to the Receiver Of Wreck who finds out if you are allowed to keep the stuff. The remaining detritus is used to decorate your fireplace until you get married when the wife "accidentally" puts it out for the dustman.
"Dived the Lanfrac last weekend"
"Hur hur, find any gold"
"Er, yes actually! a solid bar of it, unfortunately it was a Leigh Bishop trip so in fact it had been placed there and was lead cast and sprayed gold to look like one"
"Hur hur - Fools Spidge!"
"Hur hur, find any gold"
"Er, yes actually! a solid bar of it, unfortunately it was a Leigh Bishop trip so in fact it had been placed there and was lead cast and sprayed gold to look like one"
"Hur hur - Fools Spidge!"
by Brucester July 29, 2007
Get the Spidge mug.You have just woken up after a shag, you need a piss and you also need to get rid of the used condom still on your cock, you also need to make certain that the condom is totally disposed of.........enter the POWER FISH, holding the condom still in place you empty your bladder into it, then precisely positioning yourself so that the baloon of piss is directly over the deepest part of the pan, then let go immediatly with both hands. A 'bonus power fish' is sometimes achieved whereby the payload drops with such force that it vanishes round the U bend immediately without even flushing.
The science behind a bonus power fish is still poorly understood but may have something to do with the shape of the particular pan and also the volume of piss in the skin willie. BPF's still only account for 5% of Power Fish.
The science behind a bonus power fish is still poorly understood but may have something to do with the shape of the particular pan and also the volume of piss in the skin willie. BPF's still only account for 5% of Power Fish.
Re-enters the room....<Thinks> Fucking dynamite Power Fish.
She <thinks> wierd cunt, sounded like a power dump, I wonder if his arse is prolapsed?
She <thinks> wierd cunt, sounded like a power dump, I wonder if his arse is prolapsed?
by Brucester September 13, 2006
Get the Power Fish mug.Used disposable nappy. Once folded into place with the velcrow wings secured it resembles a product from the Ginsters range.
by Brucester September 10, 2006
Get the piss pasty mug.