brucester's definitions

age

Pronounced 'idge' a suffix attached to almost any word. Invented in 1988. Whilst doing exhibition work we were asked to, "Go and put up the 'signage' to which we replied,
"And after that we are going to have some drinkage some clubbage and a bit of kebabage" Since then adding 'age' to the end of a word has spread impressively but now seems to be on the decline.

Kippage, drinkage, chatage, swimage etc etc

by Brucester September 10, 2006

Industrial Tribunal

Industrial Tribunal (UK) used to be a court designed to deal with the bad employers. It is now a sham, 1000s of good employers are ending up being IT'd due to 'no win - no fee solicitors' and an oppressive spiteful govenment.

We're not sure what we did wrong, it's so complicated. We spent £12k on legal fees in the run up to court. We made a mistake in our HR procedures and were fined £16k. I have now lost my house and my company. Turns out that the claimant has done this 3 times before.

Welcome to Industrial Tribunal in the UK !

by Brucester June 4, 2011

diarraulics

A continuous viscous blockage of the entire tract whereby the hydraulic effect of eating one meal simply guarantees that another is angrily spat out of the other end.

I don't know what to do, eating is useless, I'm suffering a diarraulics attack.

by Brucester September 16, 2006

trog

Troglodytes, cave dwellers. Caver, potholer, spelaeologist,
spelunker. A highly respectable name for anyone physically tough enough and experienced in exploring caves or potholes.
Someone of immense stamina - probably under 30 years of age.

There were actually quite a few trogs in there so it was a cool place to go drinking.

by Brucester September 11, 2006

blartkin

Farting whilst receiving a blow job.

Either by accident or on purpose.

Honey...........I was wondering.........when you give me a
BJ...why not blow instead of suck?!?....it might work.

As she blows you RASP one out. "Hey don't blow that hard,
it's not a trumpet.....now I've had a blartkin

by Brucester January 31, 2008

Power Chav

Someone who just doesn’t get on with their self inflicted, otherwise shitty life within their own patch or ghetto and who keeps cropping up as an indecent and ironic cameo in polite circles.

They gain access to the well ordered and pleasant lanes of middle England by sliding in as mock Middle Englanders. Once ensconced they then un-pack themselves like a virus
and degrade and erode everyone's life, causing havoc as they un-pick the fabric of communities, clubs and charities that do not have tight enough integrity in place. Power Chavs have one minor good use and that is they unwittingly subject the real Middle Englanders to a purity test,
depressingly some fail as they espouse the Power Chavs new, “No nonsense, modern and refreshingly convenient” lifestyle including the interesting, at first, patoir. All Power Chavs have a loud voice, are quite verbose and uncannily know certain parts of the law inside out.

That x really is a Power Chav, have you noticed? They have talked their way onto the committee, changed everything, thrown out all the old time honoured traditions, frightened away the usual volunteers and now resigned in an undignified public outburst leaving the place in a state of total collapse.

by Brucester May 22, 2007

Non Specific Builderitis

A critical and sometimes expensive condition whereby a builder goes off at a tangent and does something you didn't want. Why is it called, "Non specific"? BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T SPECIFY IT !

Opens door, "Oh no what's that?" Why have they done that? When challenged the builder will start his reply with, "What I thought was" You will think, "I am a victim of Non Specific Builderitis"

by Brucester April 10, 2008