brucester's definitions

brown trout fisherman

A person that is homosexual in an environment of straight people.

"How can I put the sensitively Gemma, our friend Gideon, the one you made a move on this morning, well he, em, is a Brown Trout Fisherman" "Oh dear I'm not putting this very well am I....he's a sausage jockey, a marmite driller, a pillow biter"

2 hours later....

".....A Hershey highwayman, a fudge packer"

"OH, you mean he's GAY"

"Yes"

by Brucester September 16, 2006

clot mop

Tampax tampon sanitary towel.

Man, the beach was utterly discusting, all sorts; used clot mops, skin willies and logs of shit

by Brucester September 16, 2006

cuntogenic

Someone who is perfectly aware that you are filming or taking a shot but justifies walking right in front of the camera. (Especially if you are shooting something important.)

I was videoing my daughter in a race at school sports day,
just as she reached the finish line some perfectly cuntogenic individual walked in front of me by less than a meter.

by Brucester June 14, 2007

Non Specific Builderitis

A critical and sometimes expensive condition whereby a builder goes off at a tangent and does something you didn't want. Why is it called, "Non specific"? BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T SPECIFY IT !

Opens door, "Oh no what's that?" Why have they done that? When challenged the builder will start his reply with, "What I thought was" You will think, "I am a victim of Non Specific Builderitis"

by Brucester April 10, 2008

piss pasty

Used disposable nappy. Once folded into place with the velcrow wings secured it resembles a product from the Ginsters range.

While you're up their would you empty the nappy bin - it's
solid with 'piss pastys'

by Brucester September 10, 2006

brown fudge sunday

No....not a mis-spelling. A day of the week upon which you should be afforded rest and relaxation, but due to the fact that you have three children under four years of age you spend that day packing a despatching shit pastys into the nappy bin.

"Hey come on, I've done six today already - you have a go,
I'm just having a brown fudge sunday and bugger all else"

by Brucester September 16, 2006

jap skewed

Farting technique. You have a really great girlfriend who you want to keep, but she keeps feeding you onions which are giving you massive flatulence. Your relationship hasn't developed well enough for you to grout in her presence so........as a massive bubble drops into place you
pull your anus sideways with your index finger commuting your fart from the obvious to an unexplained fffffff noise.

She was a right bobby dazzeler and sod's law I had a massive
shit gas attack, but I 'jap skewed' them all, luckily they were plain flavoured and stenchless so I'm on a promise for Thursday now!

by Brucester September 10, 2006