brucester's definitions

bowel howl

A Fart: A fart of specific audiophonic quality, a long melancholy sound with a gradual drop in tone identical to the howl of a wolf

It was a still moonlit night, my last meal contained raw onions, the dusty old house lay silent. Out of respect for partner I lay on my side pulled back the duvet, letting out
a spectacular 'bowel howl' the likes of which would inspire a novel by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

by Brucester September 10, 2006

grout

Alt. name for a fart. An extremely accurate onomatopoeia for a very short ripping stuccatto type fart. So accurate it follows the word exactly. GR - The rasping start, OU - the classic change in tone. T - the abrupt end as the sphincter slams shut. GR OU T

Did you hear that? Someone grouted during prayers.

by Brucester September 10, 2006

Power Chav

Someone who just doesn’t get on with their self inflicted, otherwise shitty life within their own patch or ghetto and who keeps cropping up as an indecent and ironic cameo in polite circles.

They gain access to the well ordered and pleasant lanes of middle England by sliding in as mock Middle Englanders. Once ensconced they then un-pack themselves like a virus
and degrade and erode everyone's life, causing havoc as they un-pick the fabric of communities, clubs and charities that do not have tight enough integrity in place. Power Chavs have one minor good use and that is they unwittingly subject the real Middle Englanders to a purity test,
depressingly some fail as they espouse the Power Chavs new, “No nonsense, modern and refreshingly convenient” lifestyle including the interesting, at first, patoir. All Power Chavs have a loud voice, are quite verbose and uncannily know certain parts of the law inside out.

That x really is a Power Chav, have you noticed? They have talked their way onto the committee, changed everything, thrown out all the old time honoured traditions, frightened away the usual volunteers and now resigned in an undignified public outburst leaving the place in a state of total collapse.

by Brucester May 22, 2007

tarahted

Impressively knackered or broken.

1. I'll give it a miss, I'm feeling totally tarahted

2. Well I might as well bin it now, you've completely tarahted it.

3. Have you seen what those chavs have done to the bus stop - it's completely tarahted.

by Brucester September 10, 2006

piss pasty

Used disposable nappy. Once folded into place with the velcrow wings secured it resembles a product from the Ginsters range.

While you're up their would you empty the nappy bin - it's
solid with 'piss pastys'

by Brucester September 10, 2006

jap skewed

Farting technique. You have a really great girlfriend who you want to keep, but she keeps feeding you onions which are giving you massive flatulence. Your relationship hasn't developed well enough for you to grout in her presence so........as a massive bubble drops into place you
pull your anus sideways with your index finger commuting your fart from the obvious to an unexplained fffffff noise.

She was a right bobby dazzeler and sod's law I had a massive
shit gas attack, but I 'jap skewed' them all, luckily they were plain flavoured and stenchless so I'm on a promise for Thursday now!

by Brucester September 10, 2006

brown fudge sunday

No....not a mis-spelling. A day of the week upon which you should be afforded rest and relaxation, but due to the fact that you have three children under four years of age you spend that day packing a despatching shit pastys into the nappy bin.

"Hey come on, I've done six today already - you have a go,
I'm just having a brown fudge sunday and bugger all else"

by Brucester September 16, 2006