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brett burkhardt's definitions

Martyr Moment

A moment of self denial, privation, or sacrifice that a person uses for sympathy and pity for years on end or to guilt people into doing what they want.
Ed knew that driving his girlfriend to the airport at 4am was just the martyr moment he needed to get more oral.

“Lilly, you can just jump down off that cross now. Staying three minutes after work is not a martyr moment worthy of asking for Friday night off.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Martyr Momentmug.

Spelling Bee-otch

1. Someone who spells their name when they don’t need to, especially if they start using words. The words chosen are usually random or far more interesting than the person.

2. Someone who has a fucked up name but just won’t spell it and expects you to know how it should be spelled.
"My name is Pam Jones....That’s P-A-M....J-O-N-E-S." Said the spelling bee-otch

“My name is Joe Smith...J as in Jammin’, O as in Octopus, E as in Enlightenment....S as in Socialism, M as in Macho, I as in Illicit, T as in Tangerine, and H as in Heavenly”
“Sir, could you stop being a spelling bee-otch for one minute here.”

“My name is Jaxq Villaxiquocal.”
“Can you spell that please, Sir.”
“No, you should know how to spell that it’s a very simple name.”
“Well, if you’re going to be a spelling bee-otch I’m afraid that I just can’t help you today, sir.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Spelling Bee-otchmug.

Mrs. Mannerless

An asshole, especially an old asshole, who’s insanely rude to everyone and then bitches and lectures about how no has any manners these days.
“I’ve been on hold for three fucking minutes! In my day, we knew how to say sir and ma’am and not keep people waiting all day for a simple answer, you mongoloid sonofabitch! Now get me to someone who speaks real fucking English...damn Spics...and don’t put me on hold!” said the cranky 90 year old Mrs. Mannerless to a customer service rep.

Mrs. Mannerless felt the need to lecture the cashier on the proper way to greet a customer, ring up items, and bag groceries in a 23 minute long obscenity laden rant which included her spraying thick globs of menthol stinking spit all over register 10 during her more animated moments.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Mrs. Mannerlessmug.

Drag Dowager

An older rich woman who dresses and does her hair and makeup in such a way that she resembles a drag queen.
“Girl, check out that drag dowager in isle three. I half expected to see an Adam’s apple on her.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Drag Dowagermug.

Girls Night Out Shepard

The girl who stays sober and keeps all of her friends together at the bar or a party. Usually the one who will step in and cock block you the second you start getting somewhere.
A girls night out shepard is like a Marine...she won’t leave anyone behind.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Girls Night Out Shepardmug.

Golden Parachute Punk

A CEO who gets a fat paycheck after running a company into the ground.
Marge lost her 401K and all her company stock was worthless but the Golden Parachute Punk who drove the company into bankruptcy got a severance package of 20 million...the douche.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Golden Parachute Punkmug.

Back Story Bore

Someone who refuses to answer a simple question and insists on giving you their entire life story.
“....and then I wanted to plant tulips but I just don’t think our soil is right for it...”
“Sir! I just need to know, soup or salad!” Said the poor waitress after a 5 minute story from the Back Story Bore on table 8.

“Can I get your name please, ma’am?”
“Well I called because I got this letter and I was going to call yesterday when I got it but then my sister called and then it started to rain so I had to....”
“MA’AM!!! I need your name before I can even help you!” Denise screamed at the back story bore who was eating into her lunch hour.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Back Story Boremug.

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