brett burkhardt's definitions
“....and then I wanted to plant tulips but I just don’t think our soil is right for it...”
“Sir! I just need to know, soup or salad!” Said the poor waitress after a 5 minute story from the Back Story Bore on table 8.
“Can I get your name please, ma’am?”
“Well I called because I got this letter and I was going to call yesterday when I got it but then my sister called and then it started to rain so I had to....”
“MA’AM!!! I need your name before I can even help you!” Denise screamed at the back story bore who was eating into her lunch hour.
“Sir! I just need to know, soup or salad!” Said the poor waitress after a 5 minute story from the Back Story Bore on table 8.
“Can I get your name please, ma’am?”
“Well I called because I got this letter and I was going to call yesterday when I got it but then my sister called and then it started to rain so I had to....”
“MA’AM!!! I need your name before I can even help you!” Denise screamed at the back story bore who was eating into her lunch hour.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Marge lost her 401K and all her company stock was worthless but the Golden Parachute Punk who drove the company into bankruptcy got a severance package of 20 million...the douche.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

A girl who acts like an out of control monster while planning her sweet 16 and should get an ass whooping instead of a party. She’ll also make outrageous demands and try to waste as much money on this event as possible.
“DADDDYYYYY!!!!! I wanted a BLACK Escalade, not a white one! You’re ruining my life!” Screamed the Sweet 16 Succubus
The Sweet 16 Succubus who’s parents had rented the yacht was rolling around screaming and crying on the floor like a five year old because the roses aren’t the right shade of pink. What a bitch.
The Sweet 16 Succubus who’s parents had rented the yacht was rolling around screaming and crying on the floor like a five year old because the roses aren’t the right shade of pink. What a bitch.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Kim was a classic Secret Smoker. She would lecture her kids about the evils of smoking all day but, come 2 am, she would sneak behind the garage and relax with a nice cigarette.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

“Don’t date her, she’s a crusty tube sock.”
“I’ve known some whores in my day but that guy is the biggest crusty tube sock I’ve ever met.”
“I’ve known some whores in my day but that guy is the biggest crusty tube sock I’ve ever met.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Hair that looks greasy and disgusting from having too much product in it and can withstand winds of up to 90 miles an hour without even moving.
Anthony thought his hair was super sweet but what woman wants a man who’s hair could be used as a lethal weapon?
“March your ass upstairs right now and wash that crap out of your hair, no son of mine is leaving this house with Guido Hair.”
“March your ass upstairs right now and wash that crap out of your hair, no son of mine is leaving this house with Guido Hair.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

The girl who stays sober and keeps all of her friends together at the bar or a party. Usually the one who will step in and cock block you the second you start getting somewhere.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
