Skip to main content

Definitions by brett burkhardt

flirt and divert

To flirt with someone to get something out of them and then ditching them.
Alicia was an expert at flirt and divert. She'd approach a guy at the bar, flirt with him all night so long as he paid for the drinks, and then left towards the end of the night when he went to the bathroom.

"I'm going to give her a ride home but she wants to stop at the gas station first."
"Dude, it's just flirt and divert, she's done it at every party I've seen her at. She's going to ask you for some smokes and then will run up a huge tab. The second you pull up she'll jump out and run up to her apartment without so much as a thank you."
When you pick up the tab for someone and their simple request turns into a dozen expensive things.
"When we go to the bar and he picks up the tab he limits us to tap beer but when I pick up the tab he insists on getting $10 martinis."
"That us such tab abuse, tell his ass he can buy his own drinks."

A common tab abuse situation.
"I forgot my purse at home, will you buy me a pack of gum and maybe a pack of smokes?"
"Sure."
"Sweet! In that case, I also need another pack of smokes, two frozen pizzas, some chips, a six pack, a box of tampons, and a bottle of vodka...oh and some orange juice..."
tab abuse by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008

Facebook Fraud

The act of altering your profile information, writing things on the walls of others, etc. to illicit feelings of sympathy from others or to attract attention.
Jolene wrote that she was feeling down on her ex’s wall so that he’d message her again. She knew it was Facebook fraud but she didn't care.

We ignore everything that he writes on Facebook. It's mostly just Facebook fraud to get us to invite him out to the bar more often.

Party Prowler 

That perv who hangs around parties waiting to make advances on people who are too drunk to defend themselves. Or steal a purse or just take a really nice jacket.
When Karen saw that Mark, the Party Prowler from her dorm, was at the Tri-Delt party she made sure to hold onto her purse and keep an eye on her friends.

That guy across the hall is a total party prowler and that's why we don't host house parties anymore.

Nutrition Nazi 

Someone who insists on getting in everyone’s face and insulting and belittling them on their food choices.
“Oh, girl, I just watched a Nutrition Nazi rip some poor girl a new asshole for having a carton of non-soy milk in her cart at the grocery store!”

DIY Dilettante 

Someone who spends all their time watching DIY shows, going to DIY websites, and reading DIY books but never actually does any DIY projects to completion.
Maggie’s roommate Sophia is a real DIY Dilettante. She’s got at least three dozen half finished projects lying around their apartment and she still hasn’t finished replacing the faucet in the 2nd bathroom.

"Honey, you need to face facts. You're a DIY Dilettante and you need to finish at least one of these projects. I mean, how hard is it to finish painting the living room wall?"

Bargain Bin Bandit 

Someone who gets as much of their clothing, furnishings, books, cds, dvds, etc. from sale racks and bargain bins

Sara the Bargain Bin Bandit somehow managed to look like amazing even though her entire ensemble cost just $30.