10 definitions by big bad mark
A kind of legitimised "pick-an-asshole" competition held in certain countries that have democratic tendencies. In this "election", a bunch of worthless bastards who wouldn't know a moral if it kicked them in the nuts and danced around them singing "I'm a moral", lie through their teeth and kiss babies in an effort to suck at the public teat for another 3-4 years. Elections are characterised by weasels sticking their faces in front of cameras on a daily basis, a media frenzy that resembles dropping a steak into a piranha tank, and chronic voter nausea as they are forced to decide yet again between a potential disaster and a proven failure. Luckily, watching elections hasn't made me bitter about them...
Person 1: Dude, did you watch the election coverage?
Person 2: No, I thought it would save time if I just sat on a stool and repeatedly hit my dick with a metal ruler.
Person A: Hey, I really think that that candidate is going to represent the people and make an important difference in how the country is run.
Person B: Nurse! Up this man's medication at once! He's delusional.
Person 3: Hey, I'm thinking of running for election.
Person 4: Fuck off and die, leech scum!
Person 2: No, I thought it would save time if I just sat on a stool and repeatedly hit my dick with a metal ruler.
Person A: Hey, I really think that that candidate is going to represent the people and make an important difference in how the country is run.
Person B: Nurse! Up this man's medication at once! He's delusional.
Person 3: Hey, I'm thinking of running for election.
Person 4: Fuck off and die, leech scum!
by big bad mark January 31, 2005
To have had sex with someone. There are two connotations associated with this term; the first implies that the person with whom you had sex was cheap and/or easy, the second that the relationship was totally casual with no strings attached. In both cases it is understood that there was little or no emotional attachment or respect involved, and that the sex was hard and intense.
See also: bang
See also: bang
First Guy: Mate, did you see that chick I was with last night? Turned out she was pretty easy, so I took her home and banged her like a cheap gong!
Second Guy: You lucky, lucky bastard.
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Guy 1: Mate, see that chick over there? Talk about hot! I'd bang her like a cheap gong!
Guy 2: Dude, she's a hag. WTF have you been drinking?
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Male 1: Lucy was pretty drunk last night when I left the party.
Male 2: You're telling me! She was so hammered that she said she wanted sex, so I banged her like a cheap gong.
Second Guy: You lucky, lucky bastard.
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Guy 1: Mate, see that chick over there? Talk about hot! I'd bang her like a cheap gong!
Guy 2: Dude, she's a hag. WTF have you been drinking?
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Male 1: Lucy was pretty drunk last night when I left the party.
Male 2: You're telling me! She was so hammered that she said she wanted sex, so I banged her like a cheap gong.
by big bad mark June 27, 2006
Basically, women who are attracted to women in a sexual way. Lesbians can be broken into two groups, the "good" type of lesbian, and the "bad" type of lesbian. The two groups are defined as follows:
1. The "good" sort of lesbians are the cute ones featured on websites around the world. Well-groomed and babelicious, these lesbians look fantastic smeared in baby oil, jelly, cream, etc, and don't view men as exploitative bastards who should all be castrated and then choked to death with their severed naughty bits.
2. The "bad" sort of lesbian, i.e. any chick who likes her vice versa and isn't prepared to put on some sort of floor show for the lads. Included in this group are the lesbians who would do a floor show if asked, but are never asked to do so because most guys don't want their eyeballs seared out of their heads by the sight of something resembling Jabba the Hut raping a walrus. Also belonging to this group is your average university feminist who is a lesbian not so much because she is attracted to women, but rather because she's so fucked up that she thinks that all men are just vicious animals who would rape you as soon as look at you. This group tend to have crew cuts and huge Doc Martin boots, and usually belong to some feminist/socialist/fruitcake organisation(s).
1. The "good" sort of lesbians are the cute ones featured on websites around the world. Well-groomed and babelicious, these lesbians look fantastic smeared in baby oil, jelly, cream, etc, and don't view men as exploitative bastards who should all be castrated and then choked to death with their severed naughty bits.
2. The "bad" sort of lesbian, i.e. any chick who likes her vice versa and isn't prepared to put on some sort of floor show for the lads. Included in this group are the lesbians who would do a floor show if asked, but are never asked to do so because most guys don't want their eyeballs seared out of their heads by the sight of something resembling Jabba the Hut raping a walrus. Also belonging to this group is your average university feminist who is a lesbian not so much because she is attracted to women, but rather because she's so fucked up that she thinks that all men are just vicious animals who would rape you as soon as look at you. This group tend to have crew cuts and huge Doc Martin boots, and usually belong to some feminist/socialist/fruitcake organisation(s).
Person A: Man, I saw the cutest lesbian chicks on suicidegirls.com last night. They were the goods!
Person B: Better than the ones I saw in the bar last night. Man, I was feeling really intimidated until some Japanese guy harpooned them and dragged them outside.
Lesbian 1: Hey, let's do the decent thing and put on a floor show for those guys over there.
Lesbian 2: But we aren't very attractive...
Lesbian 1: That doesn't matter, I just want the attention.
Watching Guy: Argggghhhh! My eyes! My eyes!
Chick: Men are just sexist, exploitative pigs who have spent recorded history suppressing women.
Guy : I didn't know you were a lesbian.
Chick: That's because you're an insensitive asshole!
Guy : Any chance of a floor show?
Person B: Better than the ones I saw in the bar last night. Man, I was feeling really intimidated until some Japanese guy harpooned them and dragged them outside.
Lesbian 1: Hey, let's do the decent thing and put on a floor show for those guys over there.
Lesbian 2: But we aren't very attractive...
Lesbian 1: That doesn't matter, I just want the attention.
Watching Guy: Argggghhhh! My eyes! My eyes!
Chick: Men are just sexist, exploitative pigs who have spent recorded history suppressing women.
Guy : I didn't know you were a lesbian.
Chick: That's because you're an insensitive asshole!
Guy : Any chance of a floor show?
by big bad mark February 20, 2006
Basically, a term by which insecure freaks describe various other people, as a way of explaining depression and anxiety caused by their own insecurities. Characteristics of people prone to identify psychic vampires are:
1. Goths and other freakish ass-clowns who dress in black and think that writing bad poetry makes them "deep".
2. Insecure manic depressives who think that they couldn't possibly be depressed because they are worthless gits, therefore it must be those pesky "psychic vampires" again.
1. Goths and other freakish ass-clowns who dress in black and think that writing bad poetry makes them "deep".
2. Insecure manic depressives who think that they couldn't possibly be depressed because they are worthless gits, therefore it must be those pesky "psychic vampires" again.
Person 1: Hey that guy is a real psychic vampire. I always feel drained and depressed when I'm around him.
Person 2: Perhaps it's time you got a life and stopped being a self-obsessed ass-goblin.
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Person 1: Help! The guy with me is a real psychic vampire!
Person 2: Hey, I didn't know you'd become a goth.
Person 1: Sure. Would you like to hear some bad poetry?
Person 2: Perhaps it's time you got a life and stopped being a self-obsessed ass-goblin.
----
Person 1: Help! The guy with me is a real psychic vampire!
Person 2: Hey, I didn't know you'd become a goth.
Person 1: Sure. Would you like to hear some bad poetry?
by big bad mark January 25, 2005
A combination of the words "babe" and "delicious", where "babe" refers to a very attractive woman, and "delicious" refers to the fact that you'd be onto her like a lion onto a prairie dog if she gave you the slightest encouragement. Things that are babelicious include supermodels, certain singers/actresses (if you're thinking Britney or Madonna here go and wash your mind out with soap), any female gymnast/contortionist over the age of 18, and that chick I walked past on the street on my way into work this morning.
Person 1: Man, check out that babelicious chick over there. Talk about hot!
Person A: Dude, the chicks on the pron site that I was surfing last night were totally babelicious.
Person B: Send me the url, dude; I need a good pron fix.
Person A: Dude, the chicks on the pron site that I was surfing last night were totally babelicious.
Person B: Send me the url, dude; I need a good pron fix.
by big bad mark October 17, 2005
The grip you have when you grab some guy by the testicles, hence having a "handful of nuts". Agonising for men, it is a source of endless amusement for onlookers and passers-by. Another form of this term is "going the squirrel", which means that someone is attempting to grab someone else in a squirrel grip.
Person 1: This guy picked a fight with me the other day, but I got him in the "squirrel grip" and he sure changed his tune quickly.
Person A: This guy attacked Sophie in a dark alley, so she "went the squirrel" on him and escaped. Poor bastard'll be singing high-C from now on.
Person A: This guy attacked Sophie in a dark alley, so she "went the squirrel" on him and escaped. Poor bastard'll be singing high-C from now on.
by big bad mark January 31, 2005
In an election, the process whereby elegible citizens submit their choice for the person/party who gets to exploit them for the next 3-4years. People will often get wildly enthusiastic about which dishonest piece of crap they're going to "vote" for this time around, completely forgetting their previous experiences with politicians, which resembled nothing so much as being simultaneously mugged, insulted and assraped. If voting could change things, it would be illegal.
Person 1: Dude, are you voting today?
Person 2: No, this time around I thought I'd just save time and ask a Hell's Angel to beat me up and rob me.
Candidate: And will you be voting for me today, sir?
Voter : Why yes I am! Here, let me bend over this chair so that you can more conveniently assrape me...
Person 2: No, this time around I thought I'd just save time and ask a Hell's Angel to beat me up and rob me.
Candidate: And will you be voting for me today, sir?
Voter : Why yes I am! Here, let me bend over this chair so that you can more conveniently assrape me...
by big bad mark October 25, 2005